<p>I too am still waiting for a definitive report (as to grades) from my S--maybe we'll hear next week? Biggest concern concern going in (he has Aspergers, and is 1500 miles away!) was how he would adjust, socially... biggest concern at the moment is that he is adjusting TOO well, socially. (How's school going?" "Fine. I just joined the cycling club-can you send out my bike?")</p>
<p>Well, that sounds like good news, scansmom?</p>
<p>Absolutely--4 years ago I could not have even imagined that he would go as far as he has! But he does need to maintain a B average to keep that scholarship...</p>
<p>Good luck on the interim grade reports, scansmom. And, remember, if they're a little off, there is still a lot of time for him to re-adjust; keep active socially but just balance in sufficient study.</p>
<p>what a great start..for your son, Scansmom! I hope socially this is going to be a truly happy chapter in life for your son. A close friend of mine with son newly at a LAC with Aspergers spectrum issues is worried on both burners..social and academic, and I know she would be thrilled to see her son loving his social adventures at college. Here's hoping your son can figure it all out, too.</p>
<p>As the parent of a son soon to be college senior, I am amused by this thread. After 4 semesters the discussion is now not about grades but about what he is now tackling academically. The last call was to quiz me about a moral dilemma research paper he was writing.</p>
<p>As parent, we eventually realize that our student are venturing beyond the limits of where we can offer meaningful commentary. And that is as it should be. For what do I know of moral development levels and abtruse AI algorithms?</p>
<p>I suspect that you concerned parents of first semester frosh will soon morp into relaxed observers of your student's scholarly growth. And that arms length separation is a good thing.</p>
<p>I called my d. and this past week was better. She got an A on her homework from the class at Columbia that has been toughest for her, & if her grades don't go up in the other class she plans to meet with the prof. and ask whether she can do a project of some sort for extra credit to bring up her grade. I don't know if college profs will go along with that (it's more of high school tactic) - but it can't hurt to show the prof. that she is putting in effort and willing to go the extra mile.</p>
<p>Note to originaloog -- my daughter is the one who called me last week upset about a C -- I'm the one who kept telling her that grades didn't matter. But her brother had D's and incompletes in some of his college courses, -- and a college "D" might as well be an F, because a course with a D won't transfer to any other college. In essence, he lost a full semester because of non-transferable course work, and with his grades he is finishing up at a public college that is a big come-down from the college wher he started. </p>
<p>So basically... grades DO matter. If I had been less of a "relaxed observer" with my son, maybe he would have done a little better. I let him get away with not showing me the grade reports; I'm not repeating that mistake - my daughter knows that a condition of my financial support is that I do see grades. All I want to know is that she is progressing and is in good standing - a 2.0 GPA is good enough to maintain her financial aid and good enough for me. </p>
<p>So yes, it's nice when they start talking about the academics. My son did that all along -- he'd ask for my input on papers and talk about what he was interested in -- but sometimes he didn't do everything expected of him in some of those classes. He's no longer attending college on my nickel, so at this point I see his grades as none of my business..... but daughter is costing me 5 figures annually... so yeah, grades are part of the equation.</p>
<p>Well, my S hasn't said anything about any of his grades other than things are "fine." I guess that means there's no particular problem because that was his stock response all thru school up to this point anyway--why change now? We figure no news is good news.</p>
<p>In any case, his school only requires a 3.0 & 17 credits & will even give kids up to a year of probation if they have problems -- they can keep their merit scholarships & work to resolve whatever is causing them to have problems.</p>
<p>Socially, I've never heard my S happier! He is very busy & active with a good # of friends, all of which are folks he's only really gotten to know since August. He's been attending football games, eating with friends, camping with the dorm in the mountains, exploring LA, Chinatown & little Tokyo, laughing a lot & attending ALL his classes (no illnesses so far, knock wood). </p>
<p>His good health amazes us, since lots of kids have already had colds & illnesses & thru HS, he often had frequent & prolonged absences. We're all so delighted things are working out well & he sounds SO happy (tho he doesn't tell us as much about what he's up to & what's going on as we'd like). I think the later start time in college has really helped him (he can roll out of bed just a few minutes before his 9 or 10am class instead of having to get up by 6:30 to get to school as he did in HI). I also think that having more control over course scheduling & breaks between classes makes U a LOT less physically demanding than HS was. In any case, we're counting our blessings that he's so healthy & happy!</p>
<p>Calmom, LOL! In this case I'm on board with your tough love program;).</p>
<p>Calmom, I'm with you. It's not a matter of micromanaging our son's college experience, but it is a huge financial commitment for us. I don't expect straight A's, but I do expect a reasonable effort on his part, in exchange for our ongoing financial support, including significant loans. If he's not mature enough to get decent grades, he shouldn't be at his college at this time. We made our position clear early on, and he's doing well. I also think that if kids start to really blow it, there may be issues of drugs or alcohol, and I'd want to know about that sooner rather than later.</p>
<p>When our kids are financially independent, they can do what they want.</p>
<p>Sometimes I wonder if I'm in la-la land wrt grades in college. </p>
<p>First, I am totally with calmom on "grades are my business." When DS took off for college last year and had the FERPA form to consider, I told him that his granting us access to grades was totally optional. Of course, our paying his tuition was "totally optional" too, LOL. At any rate, has never been an issue, as he willingly lets us know where he stands and/or lets us log in to the websites providing grade access.</p>
<p>Now, as to fretting over non-A grades in college. I am a split personality on this. I admit to feeling elated when I hear of the A's and being very proud of the GPA he achieved in a chaotic freshman year (Tulane-Katrina-Bates-Tulane-transfer). I admit to hoping for better when he reports mostly B's at the moment. But this is the "feeling" side of my personality. </p>
<p>The "thinking" side says - he's in college, I want him to do well, but his grades, other than remaining in academic good standing, don't really matter. (Last year, he had merit $$ to protect, but the very fair GPA standard of 2.7 was a non-issue, as he far exceeded that. This year, he has no merit $$ to protect).</p>
<p>I'm not sure my "thinking" side is correct. And I'm wondering if it is only an option if one has the luxury of parenting a kid who has no merit threshhold to maintain, is not pre-med, is not pre-law and has no immediate plans for graduate school. I'm just not picturing potential employers (he's in Engineering) going by his transcript. Rather, I'm expecting them to focus on his degree, any related experience he can garner and how he comes across in interviews.</p>
<p>Do grades matter? Except to the "feeling" side of us parents?</p>
<p>jmmom, good point.</p>
<p>It is thinking vs. feeling for the non-law, non-medicine, non-Wall Street, non-management consultant, non-Ph.D.ers. Well, humm, guess that's not so many kids as I first thought:).</p>
<p>But, your point is still good. The only "thinking" reason I can conceive of for caring about grades is that kids do need to know that one of their parents' key values is always trying your best. So it's not the grade as a result, just the evidence that the kid did their best.</p>
<p>The "feeling" part is just giving up the adrenaline of your kid's A's. And frankly, at the age of 50, it's time for me to focus on my own achievements as they have the hope of true rewards, i.e. financial independence and early retirement. Hoo yah! Now that's worth obsessing over....</p>
<p>Actually, I didn't think it applied for the Wall St. and management consultant types. But I'm probably wrong. When I went to Stanford Business school, it didn't appear to me that transcripts/GPAs factored in at all. But, then again, the GSB was totally pass/fail with no ranking until the top handful were announced for graduation. So they wouldn't have much to go on.</p>
<p>Grades matter for Wall Street - resumes are screened first and GPA's seem all-important from the results I see.</p>
<p>For hiring undergrads, these firms do want to know GPA. According to my son who has been through this interviewing process, they may even consider SAT scores. I pretty sure they do not look at the actual transcripts and definitely not SAT score reports, but students do put their GPAs and many even put SAT scores on their resumes (on the honor system as far as truthfulness??? I think this is how it works.)</p>
<p>I am still waiting on receiving back my calc midterm. It was close to 100% proof-based, which I feared would happen, though I expected it, as well, as I attend U Chicago.</p>
<p>A student in my class asked the teacher if we would be graded on a curve. He told us that no, we would not; if you're doing A-level work, you'll get an A, but if everyone in the class is an idiot, then everyone will get F's and will receive e-mails from him asking for a "conference" (i.e., they should move down to the lower calculus sequence, where they will be more comfortable).</p>
<p>I haven't received an e-mail yet, so maybe I didn't fail. Or maybe the midterms have not been graded. My fingers are crossed.</p>
<p>My son is a senior Engineering major at Virginia Tech. Every one of the internships he applied for last year stated as a requirement that the student have at least a 3.00. The kids with the higher GPA's seemed to get the plum internships in Feb.- March. Kids closer to the 3.0 got the "leftovers" in May-June.</p>
<p>The resumes I've seen all have the actual transcripts attached; my Wall Street employer does not require or look at SAT scores but some students do put their SAT scores on their resume.</p>
<p>I've got to resurrect this thread to post about my friend's D at a small Christian school several hours from home. Not only are the courses fairly bizarre the midterm grades are ..well, interesting. </p>
<p>She has 5 classes. She gave Dad the ID and password to check midterms as she is facing ACL surgery maybe tommorrow and didn't want to be bothered. I saw him at a volleyball game tonight and he reported that his daughter had the following grades posted with no key or explanations: a 312 in Bible, a 335 in Calculus, an 11 in Principles of Engineering, an 8 in English and a 78% in Psychology. :eek: </p>
<p>He looked like his brain had been through a couple of spin cycles. LOL. He has no idea what any of that means. His D says she thinks its O.K. .</p>
<p>Wow--sounds like grading there is pretty "random" (in my kids' favorite word). Not sure what I'd make of it either, but think I'd trust my kid under the circumstances.</p>