<p>well my twin sons keep me learning on this college stuff. One son is at a wealthy private while the other is OOS at a tier 3 public. </p>
<p>As I watch their budgets the son at the private goes through considerably more money than the son at the public. He says many of his friends are very wealthy and they always want to go to the clubs, take weekend trips, skiing, etc. This son cannot keep up with that level of spending and occasionally has to stay behind. He feels left out at times but is doing OK since he has joined a few clubs and he has other options now. It was a bit of a shock to him to not be able to keep up with the spending level of his new friends and required some adaptation on his part. He had a good amount of money to spend by his standards and we are upper middle class in income but it went very quickly.</p>
<p>Son two at the public partakes in much more modest forms of recreation in terms of costs and his budget is in pretty good shape for the rest of the year. He fits right in with the culture of spending at his university.</p>
<p>I am not sure i would want to be a low income student at a wealthy university. I think it might be very hard on a low income student to try to fit in.</p>
<p>That's a good point drizzit, which is lost on a lot of folks. It seems to me that the money issue is most pronounced at urban campuses, particularly in the Big Cities. Kids apply to NYU and Columbia, for example, BCOS they are in NYC, with all that goes with it. Even with local student discounts, theaters and clubs are expensive for someone on work study, but not so for kids on an "allowance". On the other coast, USC has a bimodal student population: 50% full pay, 20% on Pell Grants (impressive for a selective private), but small "middle" class.</p>
<p>OTOH, there ain't much to spend money on at rural campuses.</p>
<p>I agree: a good point. One reason why I was not keen on the idea of my S applying to schools in NYC is that I knew he would have too little spending money to do much in Manhattan, even with the student discounts.</p>
<p>I agree. Mine is at a wealthy school but it's in a small town. There isn't that much to do off-campus anyway. He doesn't even spend $100 a month, I don't think, including everything from toiletries to food. Which is good, since his only income is a few hours of workstudy money per week.</p>
<p>We're running into the same thing. DS tends to be a stay-at-home (well, stay-in-his-dorm-room) kind of guy, so I am happy when he emails that he and some friends went out for dinner. But they don't go to McDonald's or Subway; they go to very nice restaurants. I'm actually happy for DS about that, too; he definitely enjoys the food at the places he and his friends have been going. </p>
<p>BUT, these restaurants, while not wildly expensive, are the kind where just DS's share of the bill will be $20 or $30. That adds up!</p>
<p>As to NYC, we live here, and I don't know -- I actually think that with student discounts, it might be affordable. Well, not if your kid is going to clubs; that could get expensive. But there are, for example, a million pizza places. And at many museums, you can get away with paying whatever (small) amount you want. I would say, don't stay away from NYC because of a concern about its being expensive. </p>
<p>But again, although we live here, DS is in college in another state, so others who have kids who do go to school in NYC may have a different view.</p>
<p>I do think, though, that if your kid's friends are from wealthy families, the keeping up with them thing can be a problem, financially, regardless of the location of the school.</p>
<p>S1 is in a big city and doesn't spend a lot -- but he has never been one with expensive tastes anyway. His spending $$ is what he earns, and he is always slow to part with a dime he has earned. ;) He spends about what your S does, 'rentof2, and that includes his textbooks. I've been surprised that he needs so few books -- but Chicago apparently has a lot of stuff available as .pdfs.</p>
<p>S2 has a bigger appetite for going out, so it will be interesting to see how quickly he goes through $$. He's a great bargain shopper, though, so he will probably figure out a way to do at least some of the cool stuff while still keeping $$ in his wallet.</p>
<p>My kids were and are frugal at a private college, and it hasn't been a problem for them. The university provides so many free or cheap entertainment opportunities, and the city provides still more. Kids don't flash their money and resources around, and the res setting doesn't distinguish (there are no choices for on-campus living- all pay the same). I'm not sure that "wealthy" college is the issue; more a matter of student attitudes at the college. I can think of several "less wealthy" colleges where money/clothes/car choices are a much bigger and "in your face" issue. And cities can be GREAT for free and low-cost things to do... jmho</p>
<p>drizzit - it is a good point and IMO a part of "fit". it's tough when you friends are going to concerts, shopping on the weekend and spring breakin' it in Cancun.<br>
My youngest had a roommate first semester who was full pay with a brand new car and it was just not a good fit. She could not understand why my daughter, on scholarship and financial aid could not just go "do stuff".
My oldest turned down a college in Philadelphia because when she visited it was apparent the student body was far above our socio-ecomonic level.</p>
<p>All of my kids have had to attend school on a tight budget. While they had to borrow money to meet their obligations (Stafford Loans), it just would not have been good money management to spend oodles of $$ on spring break and frills etc...</p>
<p>I went back in the recession 70's and we were pretty low maintenance. Make that very low maintenance! There was no money to spend and nothing to spend it on!
We may getting back to that soon though.</p>
<p>When I went to a southern flagship, the COA was so reasonable that lots of kids had parental funding for nice cars, fancy clothes, big bar bills, etc. I was putting myself through and neither the students nor the profs had any real understanding of what that meant, either in terms of not having $$ to go out for dinner or the difficulties in scheduling group projects outside of class hours when I was working. (I worked in the afternoon; folks went to frat/sorority parties at night.)</p>
<p>However, I guess I'm thinking that at least at some schools (including privates), there are enough kids for whom attending is a big family sacrifice that some of the pressure might be lessened. Or not. DH felt the socioec differences pretty keenly at his Ivy. I felt them at a state school. S1 doesn't feel them at all.</p>
<p>My undergrad private school never felt "wealthy" to me. There were wealthy people, for sure, but I usually couldn't tell who they were unless it came up in conversation. Most people were frugal in their habits regardless of socioeconomic background.</p>
<p>The private school at which I'm doing my post-bac certificate gives off a much "wealthier" vibe to me. Possibly because their student paper is constantly full of self-conscious articles about the lack of socioeconomic diversity at the school (it is very expensive and has only been need-blind for a few years), and about needing to be more welcome to poor and working-class people.</p>
<p>Whether or not this is an issue can depend a lot on the kid and the school. I had a sibling that went to a LAC outside NY, where most of the other students (according to the sibling) were from wealthier families. My sibling was very frustrated that they appeared to have it easy and always had money for excursions, while my sibling was forced to worry about student loans (not to mention a smaller wardrobe, no exotic family vacations or Spring break trips, etc.). This sibling felt the socioec differences keenly, as noted by CountingDown. I went to a state-university, in part to avoid the tension created by sibling's resentment about our family circumstances. While some kids had a lot more and some had a lot less, I don't remember ever focusing on socioec differences among classmates. As Momof4 noted, in the 70s life was a lot different. I was happy to have two pairs of jeans and to share a six-drawer bureau with my roommate (with a tv in the lounge of my dorm)...never mind a flat-screen with cable and UGGS.</p>
<p>Perhaps if I had attended sibling's school, I might not have felt the disparity that sibling resented. Or perhaps if sibling had attended my school, sibling may still have focused resentfully on disparities (some could take a semester abroad, for ex., while this was far beyond anything my family could afford). I do believe that there are some schools at which this is a greater issue than others, but it's also about how confident each person is with their own situation.</p>
<p>I agree -- good point. D is at an OOS public, and her social circle contains some wealthy kids ... clothing budget in the thousands, that sort of wealthy. It's been a good experience for her. She's learned that wealth can't buy intelligence or happiness, but it can buy really nice shoes! On the other hand, D doesn't exactly want for anything (except less parental involvement in her social life).</p>
<p>Neighbor's kid attended a well known private in the south. She was a full-pay kid. Dad owns his own business. Mom is a CPA. They are definitely upper middle class. The DD was able to join a sorority, had a nice car (though not big brand name) and also spent a semester abroad and never worked during the school yr except for occassional babysitting. </p>
<p>Even still, she said she felt like the poorest person at her sch. I'm sure that was not true of the school as a whole but was among her social set.<br>
More than once I heard her refer to her campus atmosphere as "living in the XYZ Univ. Bubble". I asked her what that meant and she replied "it's not the real world".</p>
<p>I think it depends upon the kid. Two of mine went to private colleges and their spending was well in line with COA. As was the other at a state U. However, it seems that the one at the state U has a lot of friends who live pretty well, have cars, vacation homes, lots of extra money. Most private schools have about half the kids on financial aid from what I could see, so it's not as though everyone there is wealthy.</p>
<p>I went to a private school and had friends among the wealthy. Did not affect the day to day at all. We had a mixed hall of those who were working at the cafeteria for extra money, on financial aid, and from some of the wealthiest families in the world. I did not think it was an issue.</p>
<p>I think there is a difference between a "wealthy" school and just a private school. There are several lacs here in my state that I would not call "wealthy" schools just because they are private schools.</p>
<p>The rural location is a good point on spending and yes there is wealth in the state schools as well but I would not say it is pervasive like at some private schools with 50% or more of full pays. I am talking school with attendance costs over 50K per year.</p>
<p>Your child could obtain a part-time campus job so that they would have additional spending money. I always had a job when I was in college: spend time with my friends and save enough for bus/train/plane trips home during the break. That way, I didn't put additional pressure on my mother financially.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I think there is a difference between a "wealthy" school and just a private school.
[/quote]
absolutely. 3 of my kids went or are at private schools that I would not consider "wealthy".
one of mine is at a private school with a very simple culture and "trustafarians" are sort of looked down upon.</p>
<p>Getting a part time job isn't the answer - my kids all worked while in school as do many kids. They must buy their books, gas if they have a car and supply their own spending money. It doesn't make up for getting a $500/month allowance from Mummy and Daddy.</p>
<p>I wonder how much the size of the school matters also ... I went to school 30 years ago coming from a lower middle class family that put our income probably in the 25%-30% range for the school ... and I felt almost none of the issues mentioned earlier. The groups of kids I befriended, which included some "rich" kids, lived pretty low budget lives finding cheap ways to entertain ourselves ... we didn't get into the situation where we were excluding friends because of the money spent on activities (at least it was very uncommon). There certainly were pods of students that lived more extragently, somewhat focused in the frat/sorority world, which would have created these situations ... however my friends and I really had very little interaction with those folks. Again this was a pretty big school so maybe that made living cheap among the wealthy students easier ... or maybe times have changed that much.</p>
<p>We had a $ conversation last night. D is at a school with many wealthy kids. Some of which are "family-owns-a-helicopter-AND-a-jet" wealthy. We are decidedly Not. (As in not "cash-flowing" for the last several years. As my health improves, it is getting better, thankfully.)</p>
<p>It was a consideration in where she went to school. At some schools , she would have been on W/S to help defray tuition , much less books and Starbucks. At her school what she earns from part-time work is hers to spend capriciously, and she appears to be doing a masterful job. ;)</p>
<p>While I do agree that kids spend more in general at urban schools, my kid's who go to rural/suburban schools seem to find ways to spend lots of money. I recently asked DS, a freshmen at an ivy, where the half on financial aid are. He and several friends are going to visit another's family in Asia on Spring break. Several of his friends from all over flew out to ski with us over Christmas break and he has found many fine dining experiences near his back woods campus.</p>
<p>My DD, at a suburban campus, has even more restaurant choice and finds kids planning expensive break and summer trips too. It seems like all of her friends have unpaid, fun internships summers.</p>
<p>Only my urban, engineering grad student spends little money. His friends seem to engaged to leave academic pursuits and only order in pizza!</p>
<p>Years ago I was the middle class kid on a rich campus. I was initially shocked at the clothes, jewelery and other material goods many kids had. But hey, their dad's got me great jobs and internships!</p>