<p>....and I'm fuming. He hasn't changed his mind about college, but he wants to join the Reserves and ROTC. He says he's talked to several recruiters. I don't know if it's been at school or at their conveniently placed recruiting office, right next to the high school. He also wants to play sports in college, so I doubt he'd have any extra time. I'm vehemently opposed to the war. No one in our family is in the military. He doesn't need money for college, so that isn't a factor. What is scary, is that he almost seems brain-washed. He even used that line from the t.v. commercial, "I've been thinking about this a long time, mom". I guess I just need to calm down and figure out a strategy to get him to see the big picture. Help!</p>
<p>ultimately its going to be his choice to serve his country or not… and once a college graduate your an officer with higher pay and leadership skills for the real world…army officers have a a lot of opportunities in the future in law enforcement and government agencies… and the amount of respect they earn is unbelievable</p>
<p>Unless he’s under 18, it’s ultimately his life and his decision. </p>
<p>However, if you’re trying to change his mind…one thing I’ll say as someone who was 17-22 not that long ago…the more you judge and try to force your way with him…the more he’ll dig in. </p>
<p>No one…especially young people his age want to feel as if their parents are trying to micromanage their opinions, decisions, and ultimately…their lives.</p>
<p>I would suggest that you tell him that you are glad to know what he is thinking about for his future. Then tell him that he has to wait until he can sign the papers himself. You won’t be signing him in at age 17. Lastly, you should encourage him to consider ROTC rather than the reserves now. If he finds that it is not for him, he can drop out of ROTC. He can’t just drop out of the reserves.</p>
<p>For a better idea of what a military commitment would entail, he should be speaking with people who are serving now, and with veterans who have completed their service. Recruiters have been know to promise many things that aren’t delivered. Your son deserves more balanced data set for his decision-making process.</p>
<p>I told both of mine if they were interested in the service (they’re not) they could join the Navy or the Air Force. Not the Army or the Marines. </p>
<p>Cousin’s daughter was in the Reserves about 2004. She was told she would not be sent to Iraq, and that she would get funding for college. After she signed up, she was sent to Iraq almost immediately, and did a tour driving a postal truck. When she came home her father had to go to battle with the Reserves to get college money for the state university, as they didn’t want to give her any. OP, I would suggest to S that the recruiters are apparently allowed to say pretty much anything, true or not (kind of like the police).</p>
<p>Wow, cross-posted with happymom.</p>
<p>Another reason why I oppose the NCLB act. Part of this act requires all high schools to provide the military with all contact info of all juniors and seniors n high school (for recruitment). How did they get contact with your son?</p>
<p>“Rep. (now Sen.) David Vitter (R-La.) slipped a provision into the No Child Left Behind Act that requires high schools to give recruiters the names and contact details of all juniors and seniors. Schools that fail to comply risk losing their NCLB funding. This little-known regulation effectively transformed President George W. Bush’s signature education bill into the most aggressive military recruitment tool since the draft. Students may sign an opt-out form—but not all school districts let them know about it.”</p>
<p>Be thankful he is planning college first, then the military. The realities of ROTC may hit him once he is in college and he may drop out of it. Do your own research and see what is involved. My father is pro military (WW II generation). My brother and I are not (Vietnam/just post generation)- his 2 sons did the military straight from HS instead of college (his D started college, did military and has a masters), surviving safely, thank goodness. Finances and lack of college motivation were reasons. Your son would be an officer, not a grunt like them. A medical school classmate got his undergrad and medical school paid for by the military- did their residency and retired from it when eligible for the pension, finally making a comparable salary to the rest of us who had loans decades later.</p>
<p>My son turned 16 the fall of his senior year in HS, then went to college. I had fun when military recruiters called the house (during the day, when all HS students would be there and not at home)- I pointed out he was too young, which startled them, their list was of HS seniors, typically old enough to serve once they graduated. Then he was away in college and still too young. I also figured if a recruiter called they were fair game for expressing my antimilitary opinions. Son now a college grad with no intentions of joining the military.</p>
<p>I always find it bizarre that at 18 you are old enough to sign up for the military, but not old enough to choose to drink alcohol. </p>
<p>Spouse did ROTC and four years service, and launched a great career from that; but he was fortunate enough to just miss a war. Had work every summer, great job experiences and tons of job opp when he got out.</p>
<p>He says recruiters should not be trusted - they will tell you anything you want to hear.He says survival odds better with airforce or navy following by marines and army is the worst.</p>
<p>If he wants to go to college, he should def. not sign up for the reserves. Which branch of the military is he considering? S1 did NROTC (scholarship) in college. He’s now active duty. Navy and Air Force ROTC are somewhat difficult to get into. Pretty much have to be majoring in engineering or other hard science. Army is always looking for new recruits. Major doesn’t matter. You are right. It would be almost impossible to do ROTC and a sport in college. Maybe that will dissuade your S if he really wants to play football. </p>
<p>In our family’s case, we knew for years in advance that S1 would go into the military. He knew in middle sch. that was what he wanted to do. He is a Navy Spec. Ops officer. He loves his job and can’t imagine doing anything else.<br>
I can understand how this coming out of the blue has hit you hard toledo.</p>
<p>As the aunt of a recruiter, I have to differ with the “brainwash” comment. My nephew insists they do not brainwash potential recruits. He says forces in the army and marines are being cut back substantially right now and that there is never any NEED for that tactic. He is an air force recruiter and is frankly, very selective. He wants men and women who are committed to this job. </p>
<p>He also suggests you go and talk to a recruiter yourself. Find out the facts.</p>
<p>FYI, my daughters very good friend at her university is in ROTC and will be in the navy after college for a while…but debt free, except for the debt of gratitude we owe him for his service.</p>
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I figured that my kid was intelligent enough to take in the info from recruiters, process it, and then make up their own mind without me trying to play games with and being rude to a member of the military doing their duty.</p>
<p>Try to relax - getting angry will just alienate him. Take the time to think long and hard about the past 18 years. Perhaps it is something you said or something you showed him? (He said he has been thinking about this a long time.) Did you ever menition something about the high cost of liberty or selflessness? Somewhere along the line, it seems you raised a patriot. It is possible that the United States armed forces will be better with him in.</p>
<p>Parents have the right to opt out of having their child’s information released to military recruiters. In our school district, an opt-out form is included in the packet that is mailed out to all students over the summer. I always return it on the first day of school. It’s too late for OP, but other parents may want to look into this.</p>
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<p>First, the Navy and Air Force are in the midst of freezing or even reducing their numbers heavily so those two branches are much harder to get into nowadays. </p>
<p>Moreover, if the reason someone wants to join the military is to experience the military as a ground combat soldier/marine…the Navy and Air Force won’t be that appealing unless they join their respective special operations teams. Several older kids in my neighborhood opted for the Army or Marines for precisely those reasons. </p>
<p>Moreover, the Navy and Air Force aren’t necessarily “safe” services. Sailors and airmen have both suffered combat casualties in the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns.</p>
<p>So sad that so many people are so far removed from the concept of service to our country that the first reaction to a child considering an ROTC scholarship is a knee jerk reaction of, “No.”</p>
<p>That said, always keep in mind that recruiters’ promises are meaningless. People put more research effort into purchasing a car than they do in researching the military. And the statement made up thread from ilovedcollege is quite true. The military is getting pickier about its recruits, and in fact, turns people away these days.</p>
<p>ROTC as a means to pay for college is a great deal for the right person. Your child would enter service as an officer upon graduation. A world of difference from enlisting in the reserves.</p>
<p>Cobrat’s post is also excellent.</p>
<p>Maybe video games are influencing him. Even though I don’t allow him to purchase “war” games, I just looked over his stash and see several. I’d like to break every single one of them right now, but am exerting self-control.</p>
<p>^^ I hope you are right born2dance94.</p>
<p>It’s prob. too late in the year to get a ROTC sch. for fall and the units are not really into taking “walk ons” anymore like they used to do. ilovecollege is correct. With all our troops pulled out of Iraq,most of the services are in a “down loop”.<br>
toledo, maybe you could ask your S to finish college first and if he still has the desire to serve, then he will be free to do so. S knows a lot of guys who got college degrees and then enlisted.</p>
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<p>That’s very patronizing towards video gamers and adolescents. </p>
<p>Isn’t it possible that a 17-18 year old person has the intelligence and reasoning capability to come to his/her own conclusions about certain things without having been “influenced by video games”??</p>
<p>Moreover, your strong anti-war stance may be influencing a rebellious streak not unlike those I’ve seen in several older siblings of junior high/high school classmates who joined the military/ROTC just to get a rise out of their former '50s beatnik/'60s hippie parents. Some of those older kids ended up serving in the first Gulf War back in 1991. </p>
<p>If this is the case, proceed very cautiously as getting on his case/being judgmental will definitely cause him to double-down.</p>
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<p>There are many parents who are committed principled pacifists and are against any use of military force. That combined with a concern for the safety of his/her child…very understandable.</p>
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<p>It’s also contingent on major. Knew several friends who ended up being denied for such scholarships back in the '90s because they weren’t majoring in engineering/CS or one of the few other stipulated acceptable majors. </p>
<p>You’re out of luck if your plan was to major in humanities, social sciences, or most branches of business. Granted…things may have changed in the last 20 odd years.</p>
<p>I’m proud of my military husband and would be honored for my children to serve in the military. Your attitude is demeaning to the many men and women who have given their lives for our country. It’s OK for you to say ‘It’s not for me’ but not to make fun of the military recruiter, to demean others who make this choice or to suggest that there is anything less than honorable about joining the military. It’s people who made sacrifices so that you could have the privilege of free speech that allows you to make fun of the military.</p>
<p>To the OP: Tell your son that he shouldn’t join the Reserves unless he’s ready to go fight in Afghanistan. All that stuff about instilling discipline, training for future jobs, and getting money for college may be true, but it’s just window dressing. The point of having the Reserves is to have people for War. </p>
<p>I suspect that some people join the Reserves for the extra salary and perhaps the thrill and/or benefits of being a soldier without the immediate impact of being in a war and bank on the fact that they will never be called up to active duty.</p>
<p>If he is really ready to serve, then I guess that is his choice.</p>