Mind games - preparing for rejection

<p>So, I'm having a little trouble here, as evidenced by the fact that I'm awake and on CC for no conceivable reason at 4:30am.</p>

<p>I have this feeling that if I get rejected from my top-choice school, I will be totally, utterly crushed. And, of course, I have that persistent "hope" problem, despite the fact that my acceptance isn't likely. This issue is not ameliorated by my friends, who are for some reason totally convinced that I will get accepted anywhere, no problem.</p>

<p>No matter what I do, I can't just forget about it, but I don't want to be really disappointed when I get rejected. </p>

<p>So...anyone else in this same boat? What do you guys do or suggest for convincing yourself that you won't get in?</p>

<p>think of it this way... If your top choice is an ivy or something similar, unless your a stellar applicant, you probably will get rejected (the odds are against you)</p>

<p>Argh, accidentally deleted my own post. Anyway...</p>

<p>It's okay to hold out hope. If you didn't have any hope at all, you wouldn't have bothered applying in the first place. But no matter how much you tell yourself that the odds are against you, it can be difficult to squelch that persistent little belief that "I might be the one in X who gets in." Unfortunately, there's a very fine line between hope and expectation, and the latter is just a request for heartbreak.</p>

<p>Personally, I suggest going with the "out of sight, out of mind" approach. As much as you're possibly able, stop with the "I will" or "I won't" line of thought and try to let this be a non-issue (easier said than done, I know). Don't visit individual schools' CC boards, don't visit the schools' websites, don't hang university posters all over your wall. When you're with friends, don't start conversations about college decisions, and try to excuse yourself, change the subject, or stay quiet when conversations do turn to the topic. You've heard your friends' opinions, and they were nice, but don't give them the chance to reinforce them. There's no need to self-deprecate...you don't need to disagree and argue that you'll never be accepted...just stay neutral and make it clear that what happens happens, and you'll find out soon enough. </p>

<p>Obviously you're not going to forget about college over the next two weeks. Just try to get used to not having it in your head and your conversations, so that when decisions roll in, you can deal with them on your own terms. I really do know that this is, like I said, easier said than done. But I've seen kids be rejected and have to take posters down, box up sweatshirts, find something else to do with the hours they'd been spending in forums, build up identities aside from just "The kid who's obsessed with ______," whatever...they've staked so much on one acceptance. Rejection, if it happens, is never fun or easy, but it seems gentler if all that you have to do is read a letter, and share the results when and if you choose. When you know what your options are, you can go about throwing yourself into research in preparation for your final decision. You might be surprised to fall in love with one of your other schools, regardless of whether you're accepted or rejected to this particular one. Who knows?</p>

<p>"Out of sight, out of mind" is what works for me, but that's just me. Privacy was my priority. For some kids, having the release of frequent conversation + the comfort of knowing that others are going through the same thing is far more helpful, and hopefully others will be able to offer further suggestions. Good luck during the waiting period + into next year :)</p>

<p>I am hoping to get into my top choice, but nothing in life is a guarantee. Therefore, I have prepared myself not to be "utterly crushed". Its always good to have back-ups and I have made sure that my second and third choice schools are places that I will be completely happy in. But yes, first choice would be better. But I am still hoping...if rejected, i'll be cool and will move on...</p>

<p>Ill be sad if i get rejeted from my top choice but ive learned to get over heartbreaks pretty fast so whatever happenes happenes.</p>

<p>I applied to Pomona ED II and was deferred. I want to move on so badly, but when I think about it something tells me that I belong there. I've sent in letters of rec and will send in my grades, but at some point I just have to tell myself that if my passion and ambition isn't enough for them, then it's their loss. I'm still very impatient though...</p>

<p>22 days</p>

<p>I understand the sentiment. However, I'm sure you have a range of schools that you applied to, right? The idea is that you'd be happy at your matches/safeties. It's tough when you like a school that's a reach. Just try and be patient, and remember that you do have other options.</p>

<p>Just try to keep telling yourself that you won't get in, that the school has already read and thrown our your application. That it will take a small miracle for you to get in (especially if this is a hypms school). It sounds depressing but it makes it much easier to take a rejection should you get one, believe me. And if you get accepted, you'll feel amazing.</p>

<p>I think I sort of experience what you are feeling right now. A lot of people at my school overrate me and just "expect" me to get into all my colleges... which doesn't really make me feel good (it actually just makes me feel more uncomfortable).</p>

<p>But in any case, I like to take on an attitude of "I'm done with apps and there's nothing but a win-win situation for me down the road." If I'm accepted to my top choice, I win. If I'm rejected, well I still get to BE DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL AND GO TO COLLEGE :) WOOO HOOO!! So there's a definite win right there :P </p>

<p>It may also help to convince yourself that there is absolutely nothing you can do to change your dream college's decision when they come out, so might as well forget about college admissions and go have more fun with your life than you've ever had in your past 3 years of high school. </p>

<p>Sorry I didn't really directly answer your question, but here you go: keep telling yourself that you're going to end up at your safety and that you should probably get some research done for that school. Hope that works.</p>

<p>I'm pretty sure I'm not getting into UCLA engineering <em>my top choice, but I haven't received any emails or written mail from them</em>, and although I'm disappointed, I'm not depressed about it. I think it's because I've been telling myself for a while that it's really unlikely I'd get in because of my stats.</p>

<p>I did that during the ED round and was flat-out rejected. It was TERRIBLE.</p>

<p>The best things to do are:
-Try as hard as you can to forget the school (See student615's suggestions- I think they're really good)
-Don't talk about it (if everyone thinks you're obsessed, it will be worse when they hear you weren't accepted)
-Get to know your other choices very well (love them)</p>

<p>I'm not sure if there's a way to actually squelch that tiny bit of hope... I already suffered from a huge rejection, but I still have the problem. This time it's a little less worse because I am holding out hope for two different schools (and one should definitely accept me)... Find some good things to get you really excited to go to another one or two (or more) of your schools.</p>

<p>And avoid "If I get in..." thoughts. They're the worst. Avoid thinking about what you'll do if you get that acceptance letter. Don't psych yourself up to be really really happy, because I think the worst part was being so READY to celebrate, and then getting crushed instead.</p>

<p>i think that everything posted here is really good advice. i have my heart set on a school and i applied ED but got deferred. i mean i still have my hopes up but as the deadline creeps up i find myself trying to fall in love with my safety (primarily because they are offering me a buttload of money). i would advise everyone to apply to a school that they know they will get into to yet still love at the same time. it will help the process sooo much!</p>