<p>my D wants to go to a Hawaiian , Californian or Australian school.
She does fine on school trips across the country, but I am concerned about how she would do living someplace where we couldn't drive easily and where even a plane ride is going to be a major undertaking.
Not Ca so much since we are on the west coast, but we really aren't going to be going back and forth like we do to visit her sister in Portland
But she is only a sophmore so we have time for her to think a little more</p>
<p>Yeah, I was fortunate that there was a drought the 1st two years I was at UOregon, so it wasn't as wet or grey as usual. My 3rd year was regular grey & wet for many months, which is one reason I went further south to UCDavis for law school thereafter.</p>
<p>My kids don't like cold, wet & grey weather, which is a real consideration in their college search.</p>
<p>While I do agree that some parents have become extremely involved in their kids' lives to the point where the kids experience quite a shock when they go off to college, I don't think that dependence on mom and dad is the only parent-related reason that students transfer to a school closer to home after experiencing life on their own for a while. I, for example, have always been pretty independent, especially since my mom has a disorder that forced me to take on quite a bit of responsibility from an early age, but I am so attached to my parents (and my friends, city, etc.) that I am transferring from a college in NYC back to a college in my hometown in Texas next semester. Perhaps it has something to do with my being an only child, but I have always been extremely close to my mom and dad, and it really pains me to be so far away from them. I miss the little, everyday things, like eating dinner together and going on walks with them.</p>
<p>Just wanted to bring up the fact that lack of independence isn't the only force driving kids back home. :)</p>
<p>Sarah,</p>
<p>Interesting point. I'm 57, and was a very, very independent woman, who went away to college at a time that women didn't stray too far from home. Although I stayed away the four years, I dearly missed home and my family. And, your words rang very true. I have/had a wonderfully close relationship with all of my family and just loved being around them, and missed all those little moments. Even today, though a job relo forced my family to move about and hour away from my 86 year old mom, I see her all the time and call her at least once a day...sometimes for 2+ hours just to chat about nothing. I think there's nothing wrong with going away, then simply changing your mind and coming home. Family ties aren't called that for no reason.</p>
<p>Our family is very close as well. That's one of the major reasons my niece went away to UCDavis for undergrad & came home to local U law school for her law degree. She wants to live back in HI, tho she did love her experience in CA & got into other law schools with good merit money. She says she's made the right choices for her & is very happy.</p>
<p>I see my mom many times/week & my dad at least several times/month. I see or speak with my sibblings often & my kids are very close to their cousins, who the see at frequent family dinners & gatherings. It's nice to have family & the unconditional love & family ties.</p>
<p>Yeah, it IS ok to go away & then return--whatever works for the individual. I did love being away at school for 6 years & have loved being back & close to family & friends.</p>
<p>I like the idea of kids moving away for college and then coming back. For our family though, our parents had moved after they married, raised us and then moved back to where they grew up. All of our siblings(including us), except one, moved out of the state we grew up in - so where is the home place to move back to? The towns where our parents were raised, but we weren't, and have no fond memories of or the places where we grew up but have no relatives living there? </p>
<p>We've decided on option three, staying put in our adopted town and state where we have put out roots. Meanwhile, our friends are starting to think about moving to a different state (warmer) for retirement!</p>
<p>My D's English teacher recently told me that her son was thrilled to go off to the University of Hawaii -- but hated it so much that he quit after one semester, returned to Germany, renounced his American citizenship (!) and is now working for the German police!</p>
<p>One of the young ladies here quit her very prestigious small LAC in Virginia to come back here, do college online, live with her family and work. She graduated from her online university with honors, debt-free, and with several years of valuable Embassy work experience on her resume.</p>
<p>Several of my private students are living at home, working and getting their degrees online. It is a mistake to think that 'online university' is unserious -- these students have very challenging workloads and their degrees are perfectly legitimate.</p>
<p>I wish my kids would consider this option, but none of them are interested at all! They all want to go away for the whole college experience. Sniff. :(</p>
<p>A.M.</p>
<p>Wow, that's quite a change--going from UH one semester to renouncing US citizenship & becoming a police officer in Germany! I would be quite astounded if my child made such dramatic decisions at age 18 or so. Hope the kid is happy with his choices.</p>
<p>I've read that on-line degrees are met with varying degrees of respect by employers & I believe it varies depending on the institution granting the degree.</p>
<p>Personally, I think folks gain a lot by the intangibles at a college campus--for me, that was the BIG advantage to going away for 6 years. I am encouraging my kids to go away & live in a dorm.</p>
<p>There is another factor to consider--and that is how often typical students around you go home.</p>
<p>I went to a university that was quite distant from home, and my finances allowed me to go home only at winter break and over the summer. I had been overseas for a summer, and away at camp for 2 months every other summer, and was quite independent. I didn't expect that going away would be difficult for me and yet it turned out to be.</p>
<p>The university that I attended was 2-3 hours from home for most of the students in residence with me. As a consequence most students went home every couple of months--if not more often. And their families would visit. I spent a lot of weekends alone when my roommate and friends were at home. While I appreciated the quiet, study time, I also felt more lonely and disconnected that I would have had I attended school closer to home.</p>
<p>D. attends our state math and science high school, which for us, was 300 miles away. We found the same thing, that several kids ended up going back home pretty quickly. </p>
<p>Her first year (11th grade--it's only a two year school), one boy moved back home the same night he moved in, before he had even been to class. By midterm, the only two other students from our small town had dropped out, so we had no one to rideshare with. </p>
<p>While I'd like to see the retention rate higher, I don't necessarily look at kids leaving as a failure on their part or the part of the school. Part of growing up is learning what works for you and what doesn't, and one of the most important skills you can learn is when to cut your losses (which is apparently sooner for some kids than others ;) ). </p>
<p>With the kids who were sent home from D's school for problems or grades, I think some probably wanted to leave, but didn't know any other way than to force the school to act. It takes a lot of guts and self-awareness for these kids to turn around and come home voluntarily, especially if everyone's proud of them for going off to school in the first place.</p>
<p>* It takes a lot of guts and self-awareness for these kids to turn around and come home voluntarily, especially if everyone's proud of them for going off to school in the first place.*</p>
<p>I agree
My D has a couple friends who went off to Ivies and near Ivies on the east coast, spent one or two full years, and came back to Washington to attend an instate public.
It wasn't grades that was the problem, just that their needs changed.
It must have been a humungous leap of maturity to decide that "no, I really don't want to attend an Ivy in NYC"
On their parents part too ;)
For all we say the fit is what matters- to be honest-I know I would grind my teeth a little at paying Ivy tuition for a couple years, but have their diploma stamped state U.</p>
<p>I know, HImom, I'm sure my mouth dropped open when this teacher was telling me about her son. And the worst part is, she said very blithely about the citizenship renunciation "If he changes his mind, he can always get it back again." I'm thinking "Uh no, actually, it's very hard to get it back. They don't care if he's born in Boise, he's now a foreigner for INS purposes".</p>
<p>And who wouldn't want to go to Hawaii for college (or any other reason) :)? I guess what I was trying to say is 'Different strokes...' Ditto on the online college option. It wouldn't work for everyone, but it does work really well for some.</p>
<p>Yeah, I think it will be a lot tougher for him to change back & become an American citizen that either he or his mom may imagine. You're right that it's good that there are different options for different folks. I've read of several folks who take on-line & traditional classes at the same time to get their degrees, while living in a dorm. This allows a bit more flexibility in scheduling & seems to be a good compromise for some. It seems like more & more schools are offeringat least some on-line courses, which can really help expand opportunities.</p>
<p>I returned after a semester at Mount Union (worst school ever). It was more me hating the environment up there than anything, but I'm really glad I'm back in Pittsburgh. Since returning I've gotten healthier, happier, and now have a new job in addition to a new school. My GPA went from a miserable under 3.0 (it was really low) to a 4.0 (unless I bombed the psych test on Friday).</p>
<p>Family wasn't an issue. Nor was anything else back here (though I do see some folks still in HS now and then, one of whom I missed a lot). Also, I go to college with a guy I've known forever, so the transition was really easy.</p>
<p>I too found the Class of 2005 to be close knit. We had a ton of get togethers over Christmas and have more scheduled for spring and summer. With AIM, we all stay in touch with each other really well.</p>
<p>i had a friend in college where, his first semester as a freshman, his roommate went to the bathroom on his bed after coming home drunk, got his computer literally taken apart and broken by a roommate, and just everything with his living situation made his whole first semester horrible even though he loved the school. he was ready to drop out and go home untill someone else offered him a spot in their apartment and he moved in second semester. i think there are a lot of people who come home after one semester. i'm sure some either fail out or are suspended, (i know at least four or five kids who were kicked out after one semester for their grades), some just aren't happy with their living situation (my friend), others for example are really quiet and have trouble meeting people and just feel a lot more comfortable being at home... etc</p>