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<p>It must be nice to have the money for this sort of thing despite the looming costs of college.</p>
<p>I’m just throwing out a word of caution to those who are letting their children completely skip summers: I am incredibly driven and I thrive on working. I have worked almost full time to well over full time since my senior year of high school. I have taken classes every single semester since the summer between my sophomore and junior years of high school. I have thrived on that type of drive and workload. However, now that I’m in my early 20s and graduating college, I feel like I missed out on quite a bit. I don’t think I’ve been to a carnival in over 3 years. I never got to go on road trips with friends or family and I don’t really know when I’m going to find the time to do that again. </p>
<p>Let your kids have their summers. Encourage them to enjoy the relative freedom that they have right now. No matter how driven, they really might regret it. Just throwing it out there.</p>
<p>Marian - I agree.</p>
<p>Roman - it is her decision.</p>
<p>One of my friends always says that college graduation is the saddest time because after that it is the real world for the rest of your life. As Romani says - you need to have breaks and enjoy yourself before settling into the real world forever!</p>
<p>Kennedy, didn’t say it wasn’t now did I? Actually from the beginning I’ve said it’s her choice. I’m just giving a general word of warning as someone who isn’t that far removed but has a little bit of time to reflect.</p>
<p>my daughter was offered a job before she graduated college, starting before she graduated. she would be working fulltime weekends and evenings, which meant missing spring break and most of the seniore events. she called me torn. I told her she knew what she needed to do. both my girls have worked every summer. i worked every summer in hs, so did my husband.</p>
<p>and realtive freedom to do what? lay by the pool? sleep till two? surf all day?</p>
<p>As I said before, seahorses, graduating from high school is much, much different from graduating from college.</p>
<p>And yeah, if that means being able to lay by the pool with some friends a few days a week, let them have it. I’m not saying they shouldn’t work. I’m saying let kids be kids for a little while.</p>
<p>Well yes college is important - but living through milestones is never to be taken lightly IMHO. First and foremost, it is up to your daughter. But since you posted, and are looking for opinions…don’t rush life! She is in HS, so live HS. Live prom, live graduation. Make the rest wait. I don’t think it is the only opportunity she will have for research…if she is talented, others will realize this. Just take things slowly! Missing out on a trip with friends is not something I would advise. You just never know what the future holds, so I say, don’t rush through the present! Savor every moment…what makes college superior to high school? Or the future superior to the present? I am sure your daughter has a super successful future awaiting her, but that does not mean she can’t make and have fond memories of her HS prom and her HS trip in her senior year. But overall she is old enough to decide for herself so I would let her do that. Best of luck. It is so difficult having all these choices!!</p>
<p>Agree with Marian Post #7.</p>
<p>I agree with those who pointed out that social aspects are more important to some and less to others. However, I would like again to mention the prospect of the 23 y. o in graduate school who is surrounded with classmates from the very top UGs in the country. She has mentioned on many occasions that some of her classmates lack very much in the area of personal growth, ability to connect to others and being socially sensitive. She see it as a result of the narrow focus on academics at the expanse of development as a person. While in some jobs it might be an advantage (frankly, I do not know any), in the field of medicine it is NOT. I can only comment from my personal experience, others will have completely opposite prospective.<br>
Again, I would let my kid to decide. Again, from my D’s experince, she had many many opportunities in research, volunteering, others which has great positive effect. They were presented to her all thryout her academic journey. However, it was only one graduation from HS, the memory of which will last forever, she would have not missed it for anything.</p>
<p>I suspect that if the school really wants her, it will let her attend the program and come back home for prom and graduation. She should firmly express the wish to do this–even if they dither, they’ll almost certainly let her do it. She may have to postpone her post-grad trip.</p>
<p>First, my D is 18 and she is not a child. Her last birthday was more of a marker of the passing of childhood than graduation. I am no longer allowed to see her medical records, college record, etc. without her permission. She can serve in war, vote, live alone. Like it or not. Sure, I understand many parent’s desire to shelter their “child” for as long as possible - down to the last second when she/he reports to campus in the fall. </p>
<p>I grew up middle-class in a small town in Kansas and back then I was allowed to enjoy a childlike freedom most summers. I loved that - loved my parents for allowing it. Did it contribute to making me a better person. Maybe, but I can’t see how.</p>
<p>To Seahorse’s point - why should she be laying by the pool, sleep until 2 or surf all day. I would rather see her begin to assimilate herself into adulthood.</p>
<p>Roman - I know you didn’t. It’s just that I fear that I have had more than enough influence already - and my opinion hasn’t changed although I respect both sides more now than before. Whereas, my D has had a balanced view from the beginning. </p>
<p>Diana - Actually, when I started this thread I was looking for advice because I (wrongfully) felt that it was my duty as a parent to try to “help her” make a decision. </p>
<p>To Glido’s point - it was Marian in Post #7 that made me see the error in my ways. I have let go - and just eager to see what she decides. Either way - I am OK with it.</p>
<p>Right now it’s a toss of a coin which of the two schools she will choose. Either choice is a perfect choice and the research opportunity is not a condition for enrollment to the school in question. </p>
<p>Long story short - I think I was creating problems where none exist. She has complete freedom to do what’s best for her. </p>
<p>Her planned decision date is April 20 and I will check back in then and let everyone know how it turns out.</p>
<p>Hunt - I agree.</p>
<p>Just to follow up on my last message, young people often see things in very black and white terms–thus, she may think that if the summer program starts on June 1 (or whenever), that this is when she has to be there, period. I find that my own kids sometimes need to be told that things are often negotiable, even if they don’t appear to be in the first place. So while you may not want to advise her which decision to make, you may want to tell her that there may be a middle way that she can negotiate for.</p>
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<p>I think what Roman was trying to stress was that at your daughter’s age, she does not have the advantage of hindsight, or experience to understand the full ramifications of her decisions no matter what side the coin lands on. My children are also happy fully engaged but that does not mean children have to be engaged in what we consider to be “academic activities”. </p>
<p>Kids learn so much more about London by traveling to London instead of reading it in a book. Kids also learn the value of family by spending time with and prioritizing their own families. And yes, we personally place a huge value on travel so we live in a house much smaller and less expensive than we could otherwise afford if we didn’t. We all make choices and the little cuts about it being nice to be able to afford it are really misplaced. Everyone makes their own sacrifices and does what they have to do make things happen for their families. Some folks have found a way to do that working 30-40 hours a week, leaving time for life, while others feel like it takes 80+ to make that happen, letting life swallow them whole in the process. It boils down to choice.</p>
<p>To add to the above, I also agree that summer is for fun. D. did not have a single summer class during college and graduated in 4 years with all EC’s also completed during school year. Boy, it was all worth it, and looking back much more than it appeared at the time. No summers off in Med. School, except for the first one, during which most of the students are involved either in Research or other activities, so basically, no summer off. Enjoy while it lasts. All kind of Research and other opportunities will be available later. Nothing will return lost time with friends and nothing will substitute it…nothing at all. 18 y o is a precious time, cherish it!!!</p>
<p>kennedy my post wasnt directed to you, it was in response to a post saying college and highschoolers should relax and chill summers while they can, so i was saying and what, sit by the pool all day…etc</p>
<p>i worked every summer in hs, so did my kids, my mother, his dad, etc</p>
<p>my kids couldnt imagine doing nothing but hanging out all summer, they were more ambitious, wanted to make money, and still found time to play</p>
<p>People, get a grip. This kid is not in danger of losing her ability to relate to peers, or becoming burnt out by missing prom or senior luncheon. Thousands of kids end up missing these events due to circumstances beyond their control- death of a family member, finances, parent is about to leave for Afghanistan and kid either misses the good-bye or goes to prom, etc. It is sad when a kid has to miss one of these good-bye rituals due to tragedy or a family issue. It is perfectly fine when a kid chooses to miss due to other fantastic and exciting options in that kids life.</p>
<p>Jeez. Half my senior class missed prom for various reasons and I don’t recall any of them throwing themselves in front of a train in later years because of the pain they suffered. To assume that this kid will be working 80+ hours a week later in her life and having “life swallow (her) whole in the process” is possibly the most ridiculous assumption made on this thread.</p>
<p>Oh good grief, sea, I’m not saying sit by the pool and do nothing all summer. I’m just saying slow down and enjoy. Not completely check out.</p>
<p>OK, it appears that this thread has taken on a life of its own - haha.</p>