<p>Marite,</p>
<p>You teach math at Harvard, right? Mostly the smart people, but there is generally a level where some people can't go on right? It's different for everyone. You can fake and study your way to your limit, but math owns you in the end.</p>
<p>While I realize my friend is an adult, the fact that she got into MIT put blinders on a lot of the decision making process.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>My friend felt that she did not fit in with her family, not only lookwise but also that she felt "dumb". Going to MIT was a way to prove this idea wrong and win the approval of her parents. She is also the oldest sibling. There is no precedent to say "it's okay to go whereever" or "Susie went to MIT, so at least one person went." </p></li>
<li><p>MIT can sell itself rather well. She was really excited about going to a "little tech school down the street from Harvard." If you are remotely nerdy, the idea of the culture will appeal to you. She used to talk in homeroom about wanting to take some really hard class, that only the really smart people could manage (and practically make bumper stickers about surviving).</p></li>
<li><p>She was the first person to be admitted in at least four years. Being from RI, smart kids from my high school reliably from Brown. I believe my year was the only year in the past (oh, say 6 or 7) that a student from my school did not go to Brown.</p></li>
<li><p>MIT is still made up of people who are are good in math or science and excelled in high school. There are major big fish/small pond issues at a place like MIT. As my AP Calc teacher pointed out, whether we had a C in this class or and A, we were the top 10% of our high school's math students just because we made it to AP Calculus. You could be a big fish in a big pond. </p></li>
<li><p>There is (was?) a reasonable assumption that the admissions process is objective. Especially considering how obnoxiously selective MIT is. Good candidates with Legacy advantages, AA, etc still do get rejected. I think my friend who was in her calculus class and I were one of the few people who doubted her going.</p></li>
<li><p>Her dad, while an elected official, didn't fail to include the fact that he was so proud that his daughter was studying to be an Engineer (just like him) in a speech to over 1000 attendees and a band. While the event was academic, (opening of a school), you have to try to slip this in.</p></li>
<li><p>She would probably have taken any suggestion that MIT would be overly rigorous (or even a bad social fit) as a challenge and gone anyway.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Yes, I know my friends problems are my friend's fault. MIT isn't for everyone (I didn't dare apply. I was not looking for my college experience to be defined by a school with a reputation for being a pain, even if I could manage it). Tons of kids I know at my college need to tell their parents that med school isn't for everyone. There are social issues at every college. I've also heard of imposter syndrome. But I also can't help thinking of the Gatekeepers, where the main character made social judgements about the kids that reflected his own prejudices. Though when you read the "where are they now" part, the kids who objectively were the better students were happier in thier choices (Wesleyan or not) and more active in their campus activties (or still enrolled).</p>
<p>My friend does have the work ethic to survive at MIT. She is also the sort of person who will have to focus to prove she can do something for the sake of doing so (bad bad idea), so she won't flunk out. She'll make it, but she won't enjoy it, but she will need to avoid the downward spiral.</p>
<p>I'm curious. Do professors at Elite Universities see any trends among incoming classes? Are students smarter because schools are more slective, or has the deemphasis on academic excellence caused incoming classes to be academically weaker but more socially aggessive.</p>
<p>Also, do any admissions offices survey their senior classes with respect to the original applications. Do they pick out their top recruits and see what they did with their time? Do they see if their marginal admits were a mistake or the senior class president?</p>