<p>Sevmom - I don’t disagree with you at all. </p>
<p>My reaction is to those parents (and I do know some) who want to know where and who with their kids are all the time.</p>
<p>PS - a college student was found dead in her dorm room a couple of years ago. Of course everyone assumed that it was alcohol or drug related. Comments in the papers were awful. Autopsy results showed that she had died of natural causes - an undiagnosed condition, if I remember correctly. Her poor family not only had to go through her tragic death, but the defamation of her character.</p>
<p>The death of this young man is tragic. The fact that no one missed him for 7 days is also tragic and probably a contributing factor to his death (if this was indeed a suicide). If no one had noticed his immediate absence then there was probably no one to help him deal with whatever issues he was facing either.</p>
<p>We don’t need our parents to monitor us when we are away at college. We need our parents to provide us with a solid foundation before we leave and assurance that they love us “no matter what”. I am not implying this was not the case for this young man. What I am saying is that beyond this there is little parents/colleges can do to protect us. At some point we need to face the world with the skills we have been given/taught. There is no way to predict how any one individual will respond to stress, setbacks, or perceived failure. We are all unique and this is what makes us great. It is also what makes us vulnerable and what makes us human.</p>
<p>I don’t know if it has changed since, but I heard from an MIT student 4 years ago that MIT has the second-highest suicide rate of colleges in the US, University of Chicago being the highest.</p>
<p>Read The Idea Factory by Pepper White–it’s the diary of a masters student at MIT. Over the course of his time there two of the people he knows take their own lives and one comes close.</p>
<p>I don’t think this death is necessarily a suicide- nothing that points to that.
The premature death of the state senator ( who was 41) that I mentioned earlier, was due to an undiagnosed heart condition & it was unlikely there was anything that could have been done ( as far as I know).</p>
<p>I think highly intelligent people who are introspective & perhaps are also introverts- may become depressed more than others ( I’ve read that depressives see life more accurately than those who are not depressed- isn’t * that* depressing) but also college age people tend to be more impulsive than older, but I don’t think deaths by suicide are any more numerous than deaths by accident at this age.</p>
<p>I hope his family & friends are able to get answers and come to terms with the sudden loss of this young man.</p>
<p>Cornell has had the highest suicide rate in the last few years. My mom refused to let me apply there this year because she’s seen me struggle with stress before. She wouldn’t budge on the decision.</p>
<p>But in this day and age, is anyone surprised? The competition and stress that exist in high school and college (not to mention the process to get into college) continue to grow every year, with no signs of stopping. I frequently get 6-8 hours of home work every night. I know some kids who get more. And this is only high school. I can’t imagine the kind of work and stress those kids in college are under.</p>
<p>The bubble of college and success aren’t just economic. The “college bubble” is getting ready to burst in other ways. You can’t keep piling on stress to these high-achieving students and expect that it won’t come crashing down and crush some of them.</p>
<p>So sad. And whether or not this student did commit suicide, my condelences to his family.</p>
<p>^^that would be your particular relationship with your daughter and it obviously would not be something you/your D would do.</p>
<p>But there are those of us who love our children just as much, care just as much about their welfare but that does not necessarily translate into contact. I am usually in contact with my sophomore son more than once a week at this point but as a freshman, there were many weeks when we did not. He was busy, happy, enjoying his widened horizons and really not much interested in sharing the minutiae of his days and life with us. It was fine.</p>
<p>In the many thread that pop up in the fall on 'how often do you contact your child?", weekly seemed to be the most common answer.</p>
For the decade, per 100,000 UG+Grad students
**
MIT 10.2
Harvard 7.4
Johns Hopkins 7
Cornell 5.7
National rate estimated at 7.5
**</p>
<p>I remember last Spring (2010) at Cornell when there were three students jumping off gorge in two weeks span, the University responded well, they now have screens around areas where cliffs were previously accessible. Cornell’s training of RA’s and Dorm custodians is probably the best, most well prepared than any school in this. Usually it is the safest after major incidents and it is no exception to Cornell’s case.</p>
<p>You were obviously in touch enough to know he was happy and busy as opposed to miserable and holding up in his room. I hope that parents don’t assume that no contact means the former.</p>
<p>^^ however, something could have happeened to him and we may not have known for a week. And I suspect there were certainly times when he was unhappy and holed up in his single room that we did not know about. For better or for worse, we trusted him to reach out to us with problems, and he did when he needed us.</p>
<p>I just talked to my son today, last heard from him over a week ago - on Thursday. We generally only talk once a week. He’s in the midst of midterms now.</p>
<p>College suicides (due to stress) can be reduced by giving undergraduates the power to drop their classes all the way up to the last day of classes. One reason why suicides (due to stress) rarely occurs for graduate students is because they have the power (at most of the research universities) to drop their classes all the way up to the last day of classes. </p>
<p>Some may argue that giving undergraduates the power to drop their classes all the way up to the last day of classes may cause them to abuse their power leading to eventual overcrowding of classes, but it is a price to pay for reducing suicides.</p>
<p>@toughyear Yeah, it used to be MIT, but I’m speaking in terms of the past few years, in which Cornell has had the highest suicide rate. I remember it was reported as such in the news about a year ago. As you mentioned, there was around a 6 month period from 2009-2010 in which SIX students from Cornell committed suicide.</p>
<p>Check out the recent thread entitled something like “how much does your son talk to you.” MANY of us have sons who are uncommunicative, for one reason or another. If I went into a tizzy every time it took 4 calls or texts to get a reply out of my S, I’d have to be sedated. Only recently has he at least understood that texting me and saying he will call back later when done with studying/class/whatever spares a) my nerves, and b) having to receive multiple contact attempts. I try to keep my calls to a minimum.</p>
<p>The armchair psychiatrists need to dial it back. Suicide is actually more common among this age cohort who do not attend college; there are no facts yet as to cause of death.</p>
<p>I think suicide rates are highest among military and law enforcement personnel due to easy access to guns. And fortunately or not, their leaders can have the death classified as a training accident or other incident both so the families can avoid the stigma and the endless discussion of their parenting, and so the survivor benefits and insurance are not impacted.</p>
<p>So dial it back. My heart goes out to the family and friends of this young man.</p>
<p>I follow DS’s electronic breadcrumbs to be sure he’s ok: banking activity, texting (he’s on our plan), and new friends on FB. He’s fiercely independent. We acknowledge his need for a long string, and he does confide in us when he is down.</p>
I hate to rathole this discussion but as an alum need to clarify some info … first, I believe six students died in a short time span but that at least a couple of the deaths were accidents … it is true there were 3-4 suicides in a very short time span (within one semester) … it is also true there had not been a suicide at Cornell for something like 5 years before that cluster and I believe there has not been one since … so bottom line even if you take the latest time frame of any reasonable rate Cornell’s suicide rate is not unusually high.</p>
<p>Suicides by young adults are terrible events … however the belief there are “suicide schools” is not backed up the data.</p>
MANY of us have sons who are uncommunicative, for one reason or another. If I went into a tizzy every time it took 4 calls or texts to get a reply out of my S, I’d have to be sedated. 
Only recently has he at least understood that texting me and saying he will call back later when done with studying/class/whatever spares a) my nerves, and b) having to receive multiple contact attempts. I try to keep my calls to a minimum.</p>