<p>So, I am 16 and I got my GED in December. After begging my mom to pay for it she cried the poor mouth (She won't even take me to the doctor because of the co-pay and I have ALL the symptoms of endometriosis).
So for money, I went out and got a full-time job and I paid for my GED (I got a REALLY high score on it :)).
Afterward, I quit because there was no use in working when my money just gets "borrowed" by my mom lol. </p>
<p>The other day, I got accepted into a community college(thanks to my grandma driving me). BUT, I haven't been able to start because my mom is too lazy to drive me to the college, to meet with my councilor and take placement tests.</p>
<p>I know I won't EVER be able to finish community college living with someone like her. Therefore, I want to take my SATs in March so I can get to university faster. I love and want to stay with my mom and my siblings, but I can't. She's seriously holding me back from everything. I don't even think she's going to pay for my SAT or the university application fee.</p>
<p>I just don't understand, aren't moms supposed to be happy about their children going to college? Aren't they supposed to help support you, at least emotionally? It seems like I'm a bother to even talk to her. I know it's MY education and I shouldn't need others to help me. I'm just so confused and heartbroken. I have been missing school since 6th grade(11 years old) to take care of my infant and toddler sisters (at that time) like my own children(feeding, dressing, bathing, changing diapers, everything, from 7am-11pm), until I could legally drop out. I'm sick of it. What do you think? Do I just become cold to this world I'm living in until I can walk away and not look back? Thanks in advance.</p>
<p>You are only 16, so you have a lot of time. Get a full-time job and save your money until you have enough to pay for yourself. Then go to college. This may be after you are 18, but don’t worry about that. In the meantime, slowly stop your mother’s dependency on you. The first step could be to refuse to give her your money.</p>
<p>A cycle that I have seen before. Your mom isn’t supportive of your college goals (and therefore independence goals) because they will greatly change the dynamics in the house. If she doesn’t help you, then maybe you won’t go, ya know?</p>
<p>And even though it’s true that parents should want better for their children, it certainly doesn’t happen all the time. I have definitely seen parents who feel threatened when their children have different dreams for themselves (parents are like "oh, you think you’re better than I am?)
type of thinking. I’ve heard parents say things like “I didn’t do such and such… And I turned out fine”. </p>
<p>There can also be some jealousy there. She’s watching you go out into the world footloose and fancy free, while she’s stuck at home raising the younger ones. That can be depressing for someone if they never really got that chance. </p>
<p>It sounds to me that your mother may have depression. This is a serious medical condition. Get help from your grandmother and get your mother to a doctor as soon as possible.</p>
<p>I know a family with this exact same scenario. Sydsim is right on.</p>
<p>Is there a community college that you can get to on your own? It drives me crazy when community colleges are located in a place that doesn’t have public transportation.</p>
<p>Are you eligible for financial aid? You may get a waiver for application fees. And once you are 23, eligibility for aid will be based on your income.</p>
<p>I am surprised that your school did not report your mom to social services, or that this story hasn’t resulted in some sort of intervention for truancy and neglect. Be aware that this is a possibility as long as you are under 18.</p>
<p>I’m puzzled why you got a GED instead of attending high school–did your mom force you to drop out of high school to take care of her children?</p>
<p>You sound like a very capable young lady. I think you need counseling by a knowledgable adult. You should be aware that some colleges offer significant, or even full financial aid to low income kids, and that you can vastly improve your chances of getting aid the stronger your academic record and test scores are. If you will apply to college next fall, you have at least until october or december to complete your SATs. I would take the SATs seriously–you can win serious money for college if you can score high. Get a prep book or two (you can probably find some in your library and don’t worry if they are a few years out of date because the SAT hasn’t changed in a while (you can check when it did change). The college board site also has a little online material for SAT prep.</p>
<p>If your mother has money but isn’t willing to pay anything for your college, you might want to consider becoming financially emancipated. I don’t know much about what this requires, but you’d probably have to be working and living independently, so not sure if that makes sense for you. It’s something to find out more about and see if it sounds like it would be a good idea for you.</p>
<p>If you are a minority, there are various programs out there to assist with your college aspirations; I don’t know specifically, but look around on this site. Good luck, and don’t give up.</p>
<p>This post has been haunting my mind all morning! PLEASE get your mother to a doctor! You wrote that this all started with your having to care for a newborn sibling; postpartum depression is a problem of brain chemistry, triggered by the hormone changes of pregnancy and childbirth. Your mother’s distance and lack of interest in you are all symptoms of depression. She could be trapped in a black box she has no way to get out of. I know it looks like she’s lazy and just doesn’t care, but it really could be a serious medical problem.</p>
<p>Someone more knowledgable then me needs to read the OPs previous posts. There’s one that doesn’t add up about taking online masters classes abroad last September. Perhaps the OP could add context to this.</p>
<p>They seem to be taking the March 8 SAT and do have study books from the library. All great steps!</p>
<p>Yes, your mom certainly does have a problem. No one should be expecting an 11 year old to be raising their infants. Is there a social worker involved with your family?</p>
<p>One thing you should be aware of is that colleges which offer generous financial aid often limit these offers to incoming freshmen. If you enroll at a community college as a freshman next year, you could limit your options later on. I’m not saying not to do this, but I think it’s worth investigating what your options might be. Considering the circumstances you’ve described, I doubt your academic preparation is very strong. But colleges love to see students who overcome personal challenges and you might be surprised how generous some colleges might be in giving you aid if you show that you can meet their academic requirements. Talk to the guidance department at your local public high school. If they take an interest in your situation, they could be extremely helpful.</p>
<p>Financial aid continues from a community college to a state college or university, in our state. You could look into that.</p>
<p>Emancipation is not possible just from living on one’s own and supporting oneself, at least for the purposes of financial aid. You are independent in the colleges’ eyes at age 23, otherwise, marriage and service in the military can qualify you.</p>
<p>Emancipation takes a lot more than telling financial aid that your parent is not supporting you- in my state, there is a long legal process involved and it’s not clear from the facts stated above (particularly since this kid is living under the mom’s roof) that she qualifies for emancipation.</p>
<p>OP- you need advice from people in real life who can actually help you get stuff done (like get you a gynecologist appointment; don’t diagnose yourself with endometriosis just yet). If there is a social worker who has been involved with your family (did someone “in charge” follow up on you quitting school, or your frequent truancy?) that would be a good place to start. Is there a religious leader in your community who knows your family? That could also be a start.</p>
<p>I am very sad for your situation, but as much virtual hugging as I can do for you from a distance, there are likely resources in your town which will be much better suited to getting you help (and potentially helping your siblings… are they seeing a pediatrician regularly?) than some strangers on the internet.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for replying! No, never has a social worker come to my house. I did get in a lot of trouble in school for truancy by the truancy officers. I even got fined(my mom still hasn’t paid it) and threatened, but after 8th grade no one cared why I wasn’t in school.
My mom HAS depression/anxiety and is on LOT’s of medication for that and her “back” pain-this is her problem. Also, the community college has no public transportation and is pretty far but that’s why I’m going to take only online classes-but I’ll never make it there to get started. My mom is low-income and supports 5 people so financial aid covers everything for me.
Blossom: My little sister had BAD pneumonia and my mom didn’t take her to the hospital until the last minute. The doctors were questioning her about why she didn’t notice it sooner, especially since my mom is a medical assistant.
Again, thanks everyone. I’ll try my best to get to get a high score on my SATs to get out of here. I feel better since I got some advice! :D</p>