<p>I am reading Charlotte Simmons (Tom Wolfe's new book about college life), and of course I am appalled. My daughter is a high school Junior. Does anyone have any suggestions of schools which do not have co-ed bathrooms, and where being "sexiled" meaning kicked out of your room in the middle of the night because your roommate is entertaining is frowned upon. And where kids actually study instead of drinking all the time? We're not religious and my daughter is not Ivy League material. We live in the midwest, she'll probably get in the high 1300's on her SAT's and has taken lot's of honors and APs but gotten mostly Bs in honors, A's in other subjects. Also pretty decent extra-curriculars. I think she'll also be happier if the other kids aren't super-competitive about grades. Also - no designer handbags please. Is this too much to ask?</p>
<p>My daughter has coed bathrooms but they worked well- I had no problem with my preteen daughter staying with her overnight. KIds were behaved and respected privacy- that is important whether it is single sex or coed.
as far as the sexiled goes, many of the rooms were singles, but she is a senior now, and I haven't heard that that was a problem. Again that comes down to respecting others.
I haven't read Charlotte simmons but lots of schools to look at in midwest- I would look at some LACs like Carleton, Macalester and st Olafs</p>
<p>I think there are quite a few midwest LACs that will have what you are looking for. A number of these are Lutheran schools but religion does not seem to play a big part in campus life. I second St. Olaf. You might also want to check out Gustavus Aldophus in MN and Luther in Iowa. Other suggestions include Denison, College of Wooster and Baldwin Wallace in Ohio, and Allegheny in northwestern PA.</p>
<p>Maybe Grove City in PA. Don't judge a school by its co-ed bathrooms though. Grinnell has them, but will change that policy to fit the most conservative student's wishes.</p>
<p>At my school we have single person bathrooms.......I mean it is men or women in some cases but one person at a time. There are many housing options that are single bathrooms shared w/ roommate in a suite. I know of no difficulties. You can easily find out the options of any school you are applying to. Put forth some effort and you can find out most anything.</p>
<p>As to your daughter......your comments make it seem that you believe you daughter's self image is similar to that of Charlotte Simmons......in which case you have a two years within which to obtain some counseling for her. </p>
<p>Remember that this is a novel and does not represent any one school.....well supposedly not. Perhaps you should ask this on a specific school site.</p>
<p>Amazon - I agree that there are a number of Midwest LACs that fit the bill, also some larger state universities that have lots of dorms, still have housing choices that include single sex floors, and even buildings.</p>
<p>That won't solve everything though - I was sexiled back in the 70s, people don't change much, and drinking is an entrenched problem in lots of colleges of all sizes. She might not like this, but womens' colleges tend to have less drinking.</p>
<p>I have read every Tom Wolfe book, but will not read Charlotte Simmons (at least not for a few years). With two teenage daughters, one to enter college next year, it would upset me too much.</p>
<p>Also keep in mind that it is a novel, and not a very well reviewed one.</p>
<p>Just curious -- what exactly is the problem with coed bathrooms?</p>
<p>By the way, Tom Wolfe has (or had) a child at Duke. There was an article by him in their promotional material.</p>
<p>I am just sure that Tom fit in just fine while he was on the campuses and collecting the facts.......I mean who would ever raise an eyebrow and some 70 year old Dandy in a white suit hanging out a frat party???</p>
<p>Co-ed bathrooms:</p>
<p>As a mom who has cleaned a boys' bathroom more time than I care to think about, I can not IMAGINE why ANY girl would even CONSIDER sharing a bathroom with boys.</p>
<p>I think the OP's reaction to Charlotte Simmons is a typical one but not necessarily a valid one; my husband read it and took it relatively literally (though mildly reassured that D told him book was not valid description of her school). My son and daughter both started reading the book (several years out of college and in college respectively) and thought it was exaggerated, rather silly, unrealistic, and not worth their time. I started it and felt it wasn't worth the effort either though of course the story is a gripping and somewhat upsetting one, it is also sensationalized. </p>
<p>What I am trying to say is that, as other posters have suggested, is that your daughter's character will shape her experience in college. She will in all likelihood find like-minded peers and decent role models at many schools. Co-ed bathrooms aren't the issue (though a surprising number of schools do not have them even when the halls themselves are co-ed). Of course you should look at schools that fit your family's and your daughter's lifestyle and beliefs, but don't allow your perceptions to be shaped too much if at all by what is, after all, fiction, no matter how good a journalist Tom Wolfe is or was and no matter what he thought about his daughter's experience at Duke.</p>
<p>I guess you are saying that single boys have no consideration for girls and that we should only share bathrooms with our wives when we are married? I guess I just don't feel to good about that. Apparently you don't have daughters AND sons.....and you don't trust your sons to share bathrooms w/ women. </p>
<p>If you don't mind......what is the change that occurs allowing men & women to share?</p>
<p>Weenie, as a mom of son, I think separate baths a better idea if I was a girl. In fact as far as privacy is concerned for both sexes...more is better.</p>
<p>Mattmom, I agree that people will find like minded peers. I started the book and had to take it back to the library before I left for home so didn't finish it. Will probably get a copy in paperback when that edition comes out to finish it.</p>
<p>Amazon, I think most schools will have a little bit of everything.</p>
<p>being sexiled depends on the individual roommate, not on the school. unless you go somewhere ultraconservative, odds are that most people will encounter being sexiled at some point.</p>
<p>Sexile for the entire nite or weekend sounds like get a room to me. If a roomy acts that way then roomy needs to rent a room for recreation....not evict the other tenant.</p>
<p>Tom Wolfe's books are always written to the extreme. It's his trademark, and Charlotte Simmons is no exception. I, and all of my Ds read it last year. None of us particularly liked it as none of the many characters were in the least bit authentic. All were written as caricatures. However, having said that, I think that it's unrealistic to think that there is a college in the country where students do not have to deal with any of the issues presented in the book. The key is to prepare your children so that they are comfortable with solving possible problems which may arise when living in a dorm situation. Being sexiled is something which will more than likely happen to every freshman in college at some point during the course of the year. The key is to work out issues in a respectful manner with roommates. Also, it's nothing new. It certainly happened way back in the 70's when I was in college, too!</p>
<p>Many dorms have coed bathrooms, many don't. Usually the student will have some element of choice in their housing assignment. This decision can be discussed when touring the campus and determining housing preferences. If they end up in a situation where there is a coed bathroom, I'm sure they'll handle it just fine. One of my Ds was in a dorm like this for one year. She had no problems, and neither did any of her friends. From my experience having sent 3 Ds off to college now, the problems and concerns exist more with the parents than with the students. :)</p>
<p>
Haha, they were probably too drunk to care. Tom Wolfe's novel is accurate in some parts, but it isn't really an accurate representation of any school (including Duke). </p>
<p> [quote=weenie] As a mom who has cleaned a boys' bathroom more time than I care to think about, I can not IMAGINE why ANY girl would even CONSIDER sharing a bathroom with boys.
Harsh, but true. Many schools have single-sex bathrooms, though, even on co-ed halls.</p>
<p>Macalester and St. Olaf seem to be good options. One of my friends (math and Japanese double major) goes there, and she absolutely loves the school. Apparently its math and language programs are top-notch. Macalester is strong in the sciences, I think.</p>
<p>Having read Charlotte Simmons I began wondering whether meeting 100% need....any not having to take loans for low income.....are we really serving the higher purpose? Do these recipients adjust? How much do they feel excluded? I still intend to give but I have wondered about things after reading this book.</p>
<p>A friend's daughter is attending my alma mater (a womens college) and decided to bring her boyfriend to freshman orientation -- an event that was held over several days. My friend and I agreed that this was probably not a good idea for many reasons, mainly that the daughter was less likely to make new friends and join in activities if accompanied by a male friend. I said "not to worry" because I was sure that the school would not allow this, but I was wrong. The Dean's office said, "We leave these decisions up to our students. Our only rule is that the guest cannot stay more than one week." Of course, this plan required negotiation on the part of two very new roommates, but it turned out that the roommate was also planning to have her boyfriend stay in the room during orientation. All I can say is, things have changed a lot since I was a student -- and single-sex colleges are apparently no different than coed institutions in this regard.</p>