<p>In our family it was 80 dad/20 mom.</p>
<p>Although my D led the process and did the work, in our family, it was 100% mother (me) who was the involved parent. That only made sense as I had all the time necessary, and my husband was working. As overwhelming as it felt at times, it was a true bonding experience for me and my D, and I am really happy we got to share the experience :)</p>
<p>Dad.<br>
(last one is HS junior looking to play soccer so I can see the finish line)
Mostly 'cause I had fun doing it.
Mom was there for emotional support … for all of us. :-)</p>
<p>For the parental portion of the recruiting process, all Mom (me)! Her father did literally nothing - not even help pay for any of it, but that was fine b/c we didn’t need his “advice”! (yes, long before divorced)</p>
<p>Right in the middle of it, but I think we are pretty evenly working on it. DS is working hard on studies, testing, perfecting his sport. DH is amazing with a spreadsheet and putting together a ‘marketing worksheet’ to keep track of communications with coaches, potential schools etc. My job has become keeping track of academic and financial concerns, researching schools DS has learned about and is considering, and I will soon be planning trips to visit schools and research possible camps.</p>
<p>BTW, is it worth spending the time and money to attend camps summer before senior year? It seems like most kids do that after sophomore year. I have the feeling that everything related to Official visits is decided by mid-June or July, and testing, athletic success, GPA better be in line by then. Opinions on this?</p>
<p>To date, Dad. With the DD, we compiled a list of schools for her to email coaches. Dad constructed the spreadsheet to track coach contacts. Dad is the one who usually attends the academic functions at school. Mom keeps DD own track with her schoolwork and does the daily pick up after practice. So far, the system is working in Casa ThreesDad.</p>
<p>Its all Dad here. And that’s all as in 100%. And it has pretty much been that way since day one. But in fairness, wife is very busy with work (and I am not). And even if wife wanted to help out, I am a bit of an “A” personality type so I couldn’t not be involved :-)</p>
<p>I started keeping my DDs stats when she was only nine years old, so I used this to make her resume. DH was more hands on with her actual sport. When it came time to recruit, the three of us jointly looked at college rankings, sports rankings, and college guides to start a list.</p>
<p>DD drafted her own correspondence to coaches, which I proofread and edited. I was 100% in charge of sending the emails and checking for responses, tracking everything, updating the resume, and telling the DD when she needed to act. DH made the video because hes good at stuff like that, otherwise I would have done it.</p>
<p>DH took her on most of the UVs, some we went as a family. I took her on her only OV, where she got an offer and we accepted (BTW, after seeing so many other schools, many of which she liked a lot, at this school she said Mom, I love it here and that was that!).
In the meantime, she continued to play her sport which involved a lot of planning on my part, though the DH usually went on the out of town trips.</p>
<p>The 16 months or so of active recruiting, from introduction letters at the end of 10th grade to verbal commitment the first week of 12th grade required DAILY effort. The key is to be super organized and make sure everyone knows their role!</p>
<p>Mom here.
Dad went on 1 of our official visits…but the last 2 we did…it wasn’t possible for him to go. He has, however, done all the “number crunching” and spreadsheets…helping to figure out the financial end of the deals. I’m not sorry to see all this end. The day our daughter committed…I felt 200 lbs. lighter.</p>
<p>In our family it’s been 95% me (mom) … dad’s profession is tied to personal presence so he can’t just go to see a school. I know he misses being able to do that, which makes me admire him all the more that I get to be the one to go through this process with our son. I am married to a great guy.</p>
<p>Slightly off topic, but addressing TXGYM1 - is it common to go on OVs with kids, or to be part of the OV? On another thread, I ‘conversed’ with a parent who did. I was surprised, and wonder if I or my partner should be planning for this.</p>
<p>I am a male track/xc athlete.</p>
<p>I have done all the work for my recruiting besides the financial aspect like communicating with coaches, scheduling, setting up recruiting sites, etc. I just like being in charge of it all, and I think it allows me (the one that is going to college) to get a better representation of the different coaches and programs. I ultimately think that interacting athlete to coach, instead of an athlete to parent to coach, makes both the coach learn more about the athlete and vice versa. Sure, I leave some of the more frank discussions such as financial aid and discussions about scholarships to my father (primarily), but even I am a part of that. My father also does a little research about the schools and he goes with me on all the unoffical trips. My mother has gone with me on trips as well to some of the higher echelon schools, but isn’t as involved as my father.</p>
<p>Dad went with my S (track athlete) on his OVs. We wanted the same parent to go on all OVs to be better able to help my son compare options. It may be different for the “tough/helmet” sports but dad said he felt welcome and in two cases there were other athletes also with their parents, visiting on the same weekend. We were glad a parent went since cost of attendance typically came up at the end of the visit. I will point out though that he only stayed with my son for a small portion of the 48hrs., the majority of his time on campus my son was off with others while dad took the official campus tour, took photos and bought stuff at the bookstore.</p>
<p>Terrafin…I don’t know if it is common for parents to attend. Our daughter is a gymnast. Through our communications with all 3 coaches…I got the impression that they kind of expected parents to attend also. All 3 schools arranged for us to speak with someone in finacial aide during our OV. Maybe other sports are different. Maybe it is different for boys. We were, however, VERY CAREFUL to not answer for our daughter when with the coach…and didn’t speak, unless spoken to. This was our daughter’s time, to “take control”.
Once we were away from the coach, and in with the finacial aide people…our daughter was silent. HAHAHAHAHA!
Good Luck.</p>
<p>In our case both parents were extremely involved in discussing the possibilities, but DH basically earned the money, gave pep talks, invested wisely so we could pay full freight if we have to, and took DS to two college visits and two overnights. Mom did the bulk of internet searches, arranging visits, meetings with coaches, deciding which colleges fit DS’ parameters and wishes, scrolling through everything on CC regarding dream college and athletics to try to increase his chances, and worked as editor and publicist when DS wrote his essays for his application. DS handled communications with coaches and tried to do his very best at his sport. Very interesting learning experience for Mom, who is just a art school grad. I wonder if the parent who ends up doing most of the work is the one who has the most free time or the one most comfortable with using the computer!</p>
<p>In our house it was 95% dad / 5% mom. I see the world in Excel she she’s it in Word</p>
<p>In our house, mom was 100% the recruiting process. Dad will be 100% the FAFSA process in January!</p>
<p>I’m a single parent so I did it all. At her OV, there were 5 girls that weekend, and mine had me (mother), another girl had her father who was also a coach, and the other 3 had both parents. It’s a new program so the girls didn’t stay in the dorms but at a hotel. If parents hadn’t attended there would have been transportation issues since the girls couldn’t rent cars, although the coach offered to pick up at the airport and drive around. It seems very natural to be there with her. On Saturday after the tours and group meetings, the parents left and the girls ate together and then went to a soccer game. On Sunday the coach met with each family individually to go over finances and answer any questions.</p>
<p>At another OV, she stayed on campus and I stayed in a hotel. Again, transportation would have been a problem if I hadn’t traveled with her. I met her on Saturday for the campus tour but she went to a game with the team/coach, and then I picked her up later. I felt the coach should have spent more time with me explaining the school and program. Even the ‘meeting with admissions’ was just my daughter and NOT an admissions officer but another student. I guess they didn’t feel the need to explain that all financial aid is need based and therefore no reason to talk about it. Sorry, there is always a need to discuss finances. For lots of reasons, we didn’t feel connected to that school even though it probably would have been cheaper in the long run for me. I felt it was poor marketing to not include the person who was going to have to pay for the school in the decision. They didn’t ‘sell’ the school to me, so I didn’t, in turn, push for it with my daughter. They thought their name was enough (big name) but for me it just wasn’t.</p>
<p>Nancy</p>