<p>I am going to study abroad in Australia this summer and my mom and sister want to come with me for the first week or so because I have never traveled alone before. Should I let them? It is only a 6 week program I feel like I would miss out if I let them come but at the same time it's comforting to know they are there</p>
<p>Tell them to get lost, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard all day.</p>
<p>If they do come along, you will be that girl who all the other students and the professors laugh about to their friends.</p>
<p>What I think is a happy medium is going there a day or two before the program starts. They can come in with you, see where you’ll be living, have their fears calmed, and then let you enjoy your experience and independence by yourself. That’s what I’m doing for my summer in France.</p>
<p>That is also ridiculous. Aren’t you a legal adult? They should get a grip.</p>
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<p>As the parent of an 18-year-old who is studying abroad right now, I find this sentiment completely ridiculous.</p>
<p>If my kid gets arrested, it’ll be of consequence whether she’s a legal adult or not. But apart from that, as long as she’s using my money to go abroad, she’s not functioning as an independent adult, no matter what year she was born. Moreover, the idea that adulthood somehow means being accountable to nobody, and never having to take others’ wishes, needs or sensibilities into account is positively preposterous. </p>
<p>But I’ll grant that the idea of their being there with you for the first week of a six-week program is a bad one. If the program is six weeks long, you need to be immersed in it, building friends and making relationships, from the beginning. The first week will involve a lot of getting to know each other–both formally and informally. You do not want to be sidetracked from all that because you’re with your mother and sister.</p>
<p>Malapropism gave you good advice. The only thing I’d add is that Australia is an awfully long way to go for two days (unless you’re starting in New Zealand). If you go a couple of days early, they’ll probably want to stay several days past the start of your program, but they should not expect to see you once the program starts.</p>
<p>They could fly with you, stay for a couple of days before the program starts, check you in and then go on their own exciting adventure in Australia.</p>
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<p>Of course, I didn’t disagree with any of that. But I do think that there are certain things that a legal adult can do by herself. Driving, dating, attending class, etc. And going on holiday is one of them, especially to a rich safe country.</p>
<p>Trying to tag along on study abroad isn’t helicopter parenting, it’s more like bungee rope parenting.</p>
<p>You may want to consider going to Australia a week in advance anyway, and your mother & sister could come then. It’s a long flight to Australia, and the time difference can be disconcerting. It takes a while to get used to. You don’t want to be tired & jet-lagged from the trip for the first week of a 6 week program.</p>
<p>When our older daughter went to Australia study abroad for a semester, we flew out with her 2 weeks before. We had a very nice time touring the country. We then moved her to her dorm and got her settled before we left. Her best friend, on the same trip with her, didn’t have her parents with her. We also helped her with move in and took her out a few times. Her parents came a month later to visit. They also took D1 out. We got D1 a cellphone (not easy or cheap in Australia), set up her internet (also not all you could use), and got her all set up before we left.</p>
<p>Our daughter was very appreciative of what we did for her. She was mature enough to know it was a great effort and expense for us to fly all the way to Australia with her, and she wasn’t insecure enough to feel like we were cramping her style.</p>
<p>I think if my parents tried to come on vacation with me when I was 18 I’d hide their passports.</p>
<p>Our kids travel well when they are with us - they stay at nicer hotels, eat better, fly in a better class. Our problem is not that we try to go on vacation with them, our problem is that they try to tack along whenever we want to go away. We have a very good time when we go on family vacations. Our last trip was 2 weeks to Italy, and we have one this year to Ixtapa. Our niece and nephews are all coming, and they are all over 18 - sun, surf, free food and drinks - what’s not to like.</p>
<p>This is going to vary according to the student involved. My 16 year old flew o Ecuador by herself last year, to join a group. She was nervous, but it was a good experience and lesson in independence. I doubt my second daughter would ever agree to do this–just a different personality. </p>
<p>That being said, I think it’s a really bad idea to have them there for a week near you. Are you scared to go without them, or are they pushing this on you? Examine your feelings about this. If you are scared to do it alone, maybe it would be good to do something challenging. If your mother is being overly protective, maybe its time to tell her you are ready to act like an adult. This is also seriously expensive. My reaction is that for many students it’s best to have the experience of doing it on their own. On the other hand, maybe they just want an excuse to visit Australia?</p>
<p>Is there more to this than meets the eye?</p>
<p>Of course I don’t have a problem with adult kids tagging along on family vacations. The ones you describe sound fun, if a little unadventurous.</p>
<p>It’s adults tagging along on their children’s vacations, as described in this thread, that creeps me out.</p>
<p>18 year old on vacation, hmmm…what kind of vacation could that be? Why would we want to go on a vacation that an 18 year old could afford? </p>
<p>It is interesting that kids think we want to be with them at all costs. I only do it out of concern. When we travel with our 18+ year old adult kids, we have to get multiple hotel rooms, buy drinks and their flights. It would be a lot less expensive if they didn’t come along. Now one has a boyfriend, so it is one more person we are paying for.</p>
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<p>Well this thread is about someone going to Australia. Seems like a lot of study abroad programs are way to put a vacation on student loans.</p>
<p>In any case, for a few hundred dollars 18 year olds can go on some pretty cool vacations. If they live in the USA they could go to Canada or Mexico for several days to a week.</p>
<p>I think you’re failing to see the difference between a ‘vacation with family’ and a ‘vacation with friends’. They are completely different.</p>
<p>I can tell you that when my older daughter was in Sydney, she worked hard, not exactly a vacation.</p>
<p>No, you can’t go on some pretty cool vacations for few hundred dollars in Canada or Mexico (Cuba, maybe). No, the last thing any parents would want to do is to go on a vacation with teenage kids and their friends.</p>
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<p>Sure you can. Say you live in NYC, or nearby. Greyhound roundtrip to montreal will be about $100? Then you can stay in a youth hostel for several nights for $20 a night or so. Or they could rent a cabin with their friends for a week in rural quebec.</p>
<p>This is getting off topic…But you think an adult would want to take a bus and stay in a youth hostel just so they could tag along? As much as I love my kids, I don’t think so.</p>
<p>No no no, you are completely misunderstanding. I was just saying that there’s lots of holidays that the kids can go for for a few hundred dollars that do <em>not</em> involve the parents.</p>
<p>I guess I think a sensible college kid will both tag along on family vacations, and go on more ‘independent’ vacations (whether study abroad, alone, or with family). Except in special circumstances, I think it’s very weird for the parents to tag along with the kids.</p>
<p>With study abroad in particular, part of the whole point is that you’re alone and somewhere else.</p>
<p>About the OP- it really sounds like it’s the mum and sister that are pushing to come along. That sounds extremely weird, and not very healthy.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone I decided not to let them go. They may come at the end and I’ll stay an extra week or so at the end of the class</p>