<p>OK, so I've been discussing this with various parents of college freshmen. On the first move-in day, if you get to the room first, do you have to wait to choose your bed and start setting up until the roommate gets there? Some say wait; others say no, pick a bed and start setting up because the kids can always arrange the furniture later to their taste and it's too cramped to have two people setting up at once.</p>
<p>I'm curious to know people's views are on this. I understand that it's wise and courteous to not hog the whole closet or take up more than half the available space before the other roommate arrives, but its seems fine to me for the first person there to pick a bed and desk and start setting up. Am I wrong?</p>
<p>The housing department at Harvard, for example, issues stern rules that all roommates for any room or suite must be present on Move-in Day before any choices can be made and putting stuff away begins. We arrived first and waited with all her stuff piled in the middle of the room until her new roommate arrived a few hours later.</p>
<p>This isn’t a race to grab all the overhead luggage space on a plane. These kids are going to be living together for the next nine months. It would be good to start off on a nice, considerate footing rather than one of “I win, you lose.”</p>
<p>I personally think first come first served, to be honest. With my S, he arrived first, but the room was a mirror image so it really didn’t matter who chose what. With my D, she arrived second; her roommate took what was probably the nicer bed (underneath a window) but all in all, it wasn’t a big deal. I think it’s horribly inefficient to sit around doing nothing til the family from Peoria shows up. </p>
<p>I think if there is one clear “better” set-up that it would be gracious to, say, take the better bed but the worse closet (or whatever). And I think that if there is a chance that the beds will be bunk beds, the students should discuss upfront to see if one has a strong preference one way or the other.</p>
<p>Coureur - I agree it’s not a race to get the overhead space. But if the offerings are generally equal, I don’t see the harm in picking the right side over the left side and setting up.</p>
<p>D1 arrived several days before her other roommates, so she chose the bed she wanted. All of the furniture was the same, and could have been moved, if necessary.</p>
<p>Unless you all can arrive on the same day, at approximately the same time, it would be difficult to wait- especially for several hours. Some parents may have a long drive home ahead of them, and may chose to get an early start.</p>
<p>If you think it is an issue, I suggest that the roommates discuss it prior to move in day.</p>
<p>I agree it is first come, first served. With my older son, he moved in a few days early, so of course he got to pick his side of the room.This year my younger son will also be moving in days ahead of the regular moving day, so he will pick his side of the room too. Even when I was in college many, many years ago, I arrived and my roommate had already moved in so I got the side that was left. It was fine with me.</p>
<p>Can the roomies see a diagram of their room somewhere on the college website? Maybe they can “talk” ahead of time about who gets the bed by the window, or top bunk vs. bottom, that kind of thing.</p>
<p>I think if you do pick, one of the first things you should say to the roommate when he shows up is that you’re willing to switch if he has strong feelings about it. He might–i.e., he likes to sleep on his left side facing the wall, or something like that.</p>
<p>If one choice is obviously better than the other, I think you have to wait until he arrives to flip a coin, unless you’re willing to take the inferior choice.</p>
<p>At the school my two youngest attended, freshmen move-in was at the same time for everyone. Orientation started that afternoon, so you had to be moved in before that started. They got there at the same time as their roommates; DD3’s roommate was actually behind her in line to pick up the key. We helped arrange the furniture before they even brought stuff into the room since it was a tiny room.</p>
<p>I think that if your roommate is expected the same day, the courteous thing would be to wait. If it were me, I’d just stack my folded bedding on my preferred bed, and then when the roommate arrives say something like: “I wanted to be fair and wait for you, but if it doesn’t matter to you, I’ll take this bed.” This way, you have sort of made the first come-first served practice work for you, while still coming across as considerate.</p>
<p>First come, first served in my experience. With S2, freshman year his roommate arrived first and was basically moved in when we arrived. The boys decided to room together for sophomore year, too, and we happened to arrive first. Based on freshman year experience, my S took a bed and desk and moved them where he wanted them. I can’t imagine sitting around waiting for the other person for hours. Really inefficient to have two students/two sets of parents trying to set up a room at once.</p>
<p>my kids have been on the short end of this stick many times. i’m not talking about situations where the sides of a room are pretty much equal (although even in that situation, it is more considerate to wait). Choosing up before all roommates or suitemates are present is not the act of a classy person.</p>
<p>D1’s first year–we arrived second, roommate had chosen, and we honestly didn’t think anything of it. Both sides were identical. I would have thought it inefficient if they had waited…while they were still unpacking, they were ahead of us, and I think it helped that we weren’t doing the same big unpacking/setting up at the same time.</p>
<p>I personally think its first come, first served. I arrived first and my roommate arrived only an hour or so later, but I had already started piling my stuff away and picked a bed with my parents. My roommate wasn’t annoyed by it, and if she had arrived first, I would have expected the same thing. You can always change furniture later anyway, so I don’t think it matters a ton either way.</p>
<p>I’m with memake. I can understand making a bed if you get there a day or so early, but to “set up the room” before your roommate gets there? No. And as to parents having to wait to set up the room? Tough. It is not your room. It is students’ room and the two or even three of them should be the ones setting it up. If your child is unable to unpack his clothes or school supplies on his own, then that’s his problem and he will be a better person for having to figure it out.</p>
<p>Some of us have seen doubles where it really makes no difference–two sides that are mirror images. But what are some things that might make a big difference? I think top vs. bottom bunk might matter a lot. What are some others?</p>
<p>I can’t think of few things that are more of a waste of time than sitting there with half a dozen suitcases waiting for a family that might have been delayed or is coming from the middle of nowhere. I’d still rather set up (assuming the set-ups are generally equal) and if they decide to switch, it’s still easier to switch when things are unpacked.</p>
<p>My D’s freshman roommate was an athlete and got there several days early. She certainly wasn’t going to wait til D arrived!</p>
<p>Hunt - the things that I can think of that might make a difference are closets (sometimes one closet has a pole / obstruction; I had some of those when I was in school) or electrical outlets (or even wired internet if no wi-fi) that are more easily accessible from one side of the room.</p>
<p>You know, we’re all approaching this as people from a bygone era, when the first time you communicate with your future roommate is when you lay eyes on him on move-in day. For most of our kids, that’s not how it will be. They can work all this out in advance–if they can’t see what the room is like, they can discuss whether to wait for each other or not.</p>
<p>D roomed with 2 other girls for 2 years. Both years, one roommate was first to arrive in August and first to leave in May. Both years, she took the best bed/desk situation in August and left a huge mess in May.
PS They are NOT rooming together this year.</p>