<p>Top vs. bottom might matter a lot to some; and what about triples that have a bunk and a single? It just seems common sense and good manners that, if roomies don’t arrive at same time, that there is at least a phone/text/skype discussion. For most, this is not a problem, but there are always a few selfish kids/parents that keep the horror stories going…</p>
<p>I agree, Hunt. This should not even be an issue. Get there first, take a picture, ask the question: any preference? </p>
<p>My daughter arrived first, and she had already talked with her roommate. Neither of them gave two hoots about side of the room. The other thing is that of one arrives early and gets things unpacked, she (or he) can help carry things in for the roommate. THAT would be appreciated.</p>
<p>Harvard is obviously not interested in accommodating the Peoria-ites, who are more likely to be time-constrained by their travel arrangements than the people coming over from Boston, or even Connecticut or New York. (Here, obviously, I am envisioning the scenario where the eager Peoria-ites are the first to arrive, but have to leave at a specified time.) In general, I can’t see waiting around for another person to arrive, when the arrival time is unknown or could be hours away.</p>
<p>In the dorms that I have seen, the beds/desks/closets, etc. are equivalent, so there is not a real issue. Particularly if the early arriver indicates a willingness to trade, it seems ok to move in. </p>
<p>I am not one of the “having your entering college student do everything for him/herself Builds Men!” camp, especially if you have a daughter. The beds in QMP’s dorm were not bunked, but they could be set to variable heights, ranging from normal bed height to about 3 1/2 or 4 feet high–but only if you were strong enough to lift and install the mattress + frame in a set of the variable-height notches. It does help to have parents available for this. Also, multiple people unpacking goes faster than a single person, enabling the parents to clear out faster (and catch the flight or set off in the car, back to Peoria).</p>
<p>The one year I had a roommate, I arrived a whole day before she did. My stuff took up pretty much the entire floor space of the room until I’d unpacked, had I waited for her or if we had arrived at the same time there wouldn’t have been enough room for her stuff or for us to move around. Our room was very asymmetrical but it isn’t clear which side was really superior to the other… one was smaller but more secluded from the main part of the room, the other part was huge but right in front of the door. Matter of preference. I picked the side I wanted and made it a point to be there when she arrived so I could let her know, emphatically, that we could change around anything she wanted. She didn’t end up caring in the slightest, but I think her parents gave me a dirty look. <em>shrug</em> I can only imagine what the look on their faces had been if there hadn’t been enough room for their D to get into the room with all my bags taking up the limited floor space…</p>
<p>It’s hard to work anything like this out in advance when you have no idea what your room will look like until you get there. Ours was L shaped-- who’d have thought?</p>
<p>You should be willing to switch, and make it clear that you mean it.</p>
<p>What are you supposed to DO for a few hours, just sit there? </p>
<p>We moved D in on a one-day flight. We flew in, getting into Boston at 9 am, by the time the car was rented / got to campus it was more like 10 am. She and I unpacked while H went to go pick up the pre-ordered bedding at BBB as well as her pre-ordered bike at Target. By the time it was noon or so, we were pretty much done; we could then have a bite of lunch and go on the events that were planned for the rest of day for the parents / incoming students (a convocation, reception, etc.). It went very smoothly and we said goodbye to her around 5 or 6 pm or so to head back to the airport. Now, this was a non-issue since D’s roommate was an athlete who had moved in early. But it would have made zero sense to have just sat and waited around if she hadn’t shown up, til say 2 pm - so then we would have all missed the convocation and reception? </p>
<p>Some kids take international flights or are otherwise subject to delays. People should just sit and cool their heels? Again, it doesn’t make sense to me. If it’s CLEARLY a “this side is better than that side,” well, then you take the better bed and the worse closet, or whatever, in a good-faith attempt to even it out. But sitting around doing nothing makes no sense to me, at all.</p>
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<p>And what was your daughter’s athlete roommate supposed to have done? Left her stuff in the middle of the floor until your daughter moved in?</p>
<p>Recent move-in day scenario. Kid assigned to a triple with 3 beds but only 2 desks, 2 dressers, and 2 closets. Arrived last of the 3 by about 15 minutes give or take to find roomie #1 and #2 had already claimed their preferred beds and taken up the respective dressers, desks, and closets (by arranging their items to occupy said furniture), leaving only a bed for kid. After some negotiating, one roomie allowed kid to have 2 drawers and closet shelf over the hanging rod (how kind?!). Kid felt immediately intimidated and hurt that others could be so brusque and competitive over shared space. Not a way to say “hey, nice to meet you.” Needless to say things got off on wrong foot. Short-term or long-term scenario, this kind of behavior just sets the tone. Very awkward. Teachable moment on assertiveness vs. rudeness!</p>
<p>^ Inexcusable for there to be only two desks and closets for 3 students, especially considering the high cost for room and board. Is this commonplace? What college is this (if you don’t mind sharing)?</p>
<p>This is a summer program situation, so the real-world learning began right on cue. Kid will manage by working in library and coming to room to only sleep. Not exactly hitting it off with roomies under this scenario. Did ask for bunk bed to make room for 3rd desk/dresser in room. Request was denied.</p>
<p>Situations can be very unequal. S-1 arrived early at a crowded tripled double with a room divider. If he wanted to be selfish, looking at the way the college laid out the room, he could have claimed the portion with one bed/one desk, and left the other two to share the other half. </p>
<p>Instead, he pulled all three beds into the back room, and all three desks into the front room. Meanwhile, he unpacked. When the other 2 arrived, he asked if they liked his tentative solution. They agreed it was making the best of a bad situation. Up and down the hallways, everyone else was upset. This dorm has since been razed.</p>
<p>That is crazy!</p>
<p>I was in a small quad my freshman year. Someone mentioned floor space if you don’t unpack–yeah, in my room, it would have been sheer madness for 3 people’s stuff to be sitting in the middle of the floor waiting on roommate #4.</p>
<p>Despite being allgedly the smallest quad on campus, my room did have 4 of everything. As I recall, 3 of us got there within a few minutes of each other and kind of picked sides. The other two picked the left side, and I chose the right. There was really not any difference–the room was pretty symmetical.</p>
<p>Each side had a shared closet, so I put my stuff in ours (and no, it didn’t take up the whole closet), and I chose a desk and dresser. Those were moveable, so if 4th rommate had wanted to we could have moved them around. I <em>think</em> I went ahead and took the top bunk in case she preferred the bottom–it seems that if people have a preference it’s for the bottom bunk. I really didn’t care. I might have just put my bedding on that bunk and waited for her to decide who got which one.</p>
<p>But like I said it would have made no sense for all of us to sit around and wait for her to do any unpacking, given the limited space. I think it’s fine to start unpacking as long as you’re not a total jerk about it as in the triple situation above. And I’m sure these days it’s much easier because kids can communicate more beforehand and possibly even during the unpacking.</p>
<p>Translating the term “tripled double” - due to housing space shortage, 3 first-year students are assigned to one room that was built for two residents. The college jams in furniture for 3 students. The above situation also had a floor-to-ceiling room divider, making things extremely difficult.</p>
<p>I realize that’s an unusual situation, but shows that move-in is a good time to be wide-minded and fair.</p>
<p>S-2 was assigned to a spacious and real triple in one large room. The two early arrivals from 2,000 and 3,000 miles away couldn’t wait for the third to arrive near midnight from 200 miles (his parents’ fault, it seems). So don’t assume Peoria gets there last.</p>
<p>Everything the two did as far as unpacking was “draft” until #3 could arrive. After some minor re-arranging, away from the parents who were all eyeballing each other… 3 students worked things out great. One small discrepancy (bunk bed v. single) they addressed by agreeing they could change just bed locations after a month. When the time came, nobody minded anything. Two continued as roommates in following years. All are friends post-college.</p>
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While I’m glad this isn’t going to be for the school year, it still doesn’t seem right. I assume the cost is the same for all three, even though one of them (your d) doesn’t have as much furniture as the others. Is this an expensive summer program? If so (and maybe even if it isn’t!), I’d be complaining to the college or university where this program is being held. It’s just not right.</p>
<p>^^Yes, sahp, a very good lesson in assertiveness for your daughter. Fortunately, as a summer program, the stakes are not high. And since she’ll probably never see these girls again, she won’t have to live with lingering resentment.
I can only imagine if this happened to my kid. Her clothes, books and junk would have been sitting all over the room in short order, and they would have been begging her to take some closet space within a week. ;)</p>
<p>My advice for parents regarding this issue is, almost universally, to stay out of it. Don’t even bring up the possibility of there being an inequitable situation. If you arrive and the roomie is already there and set up, take the other side, help your kid unpack and say NOTHING. And no dirty looks. If you get there first, let your kid take the lead about how much to unpack, what bed to take or not, and whatever. Don’t advise. Let them handle whatever inequities exist, however they feel comfortable. The last thing they need is for mom to say,"Gee, this bed is set up against the dormer. Are you sure you’ll have enough room? " or “It’s too bad that your desk is behind the door.” Why borrow trouble?</p>
<p>Your kids have four years in which to have big rooms with large closets, small rooms with no closets, beds against the wall and desks under windows or behind doors. Some years will be better than others. It will be different every year, and every year goes by with the speed of light. Making an issue of this will not help your kid adjust and be happy. Let them negotiate if there is something to negotiate, and if they choose not to, let it be. They’ll survive, and probably be much happier if we don’t give them the impression that it matters if one gets the “best bed” in every situation.</p>
<p>And I applaud paying3tuition’s son. Our kids can handle these things when we let them. And if not, at least they have learned something for next time.</p>
<p>Was the last to arrive in my quad back in the 80s. Got the worst bed and the desk with no drawers. But, what might have been the alternative? Somebody was going to get the worst bed and the desk with no drawers. And I’m quite sure nobody wanted those. First come, first serve seems as good a way as any. Anyway, I was out by semester. Not because of the room arrangement, but because 2 of the girls lied about being smokers on their housing app. </p>
<p>At d’s school, she gets a request card and tells housing which pieces of furniture she wants. The dressers are built in between the closets.</p>
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This is another reason parents shouldn’t even look at their kids’ housing preference forms.</p>
<p>First come, first served on move-in last August. We were up against Hurricane Irene’s arrival, so there wasn’t time to spare. The school moved the start time of move-in up 2 hours (to 7am from 9am) and cancelled all other activities that day, even suggesting we take our Freshman home for the weekend. (not…it was a cement dorm with no trees nearby, a bit more sturdy than our wood house surrounded by taller trees). </p>
<p>We were 10th in line and had her fully moved-in in <2 hours. Roommate arrived about 60 minutes after we did.</p>
<p>you snooze, you lose…life lesson. The early arrivals standing in the room twiddling their thumbs waiting for others who CHOSE to sleep in later or stop at Starbuck’s is crazy.</p>
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<p>At the college my daughter attended, freshmen were divided into three groups based on their last names, and each group was assigned to move in during a different portion of the day.</p>
<p>Snooze-you-lose is one thing; alphabetical order is another.</p>