Hello all. I joined this website hoping to get some good advice. I currently attend KSU and am hoping to transfer to UGA next year. After this semester I will be a sophomore. I am 19 years old and my girlfriend goes to KSU and is hoping to transfer with me next year. We have been together for 2 and a half years and we have never broken up or anything. We found this really great 2 bedroom apartment in Athens and we were hoping to share it with another couple next year. The other couple has been together a while as well and we have all known each other for a fair amount of time. I’m worried when I tell my mom she’ll be disappointed. Is this a bad idea? I really need help deciding.
College/high school relationships do not always last. Your history does not mean you are immune. Living together brings its own problems. Are all of you mature enough to deal with those? If you need mommy’s approval, I’m not sure you’re ready. That is not meant to be cruel. But, who is in charge of your life?
I think it is a bad idea to depend on 2 relationships to pay the rent. If 4 people share an apartment and one moves out, usually the others can find a new roommate. If two couples share a 2 bedroom apt, it is much harder to replace one roommate.
Make sure you discuss all possibilities before signing that lease.
What type of problems does it bring? All of the people in my life say it’s a new step and in college it is the kiss of death in the relationship, but why?
Yeah I am worried about that too, the other couple still hasn’t decided. The rent is how much I’m paying for my dorm now so I think even if everyone screwed me over I would be okay.
Based on your last post, financially you’re okay [unless you’re worried about parents turning off the tap]. You are a freshman heading into your second year. I do not know anything about your schools [the old or the hoped-for new] and you have not told us your major, but I can tell you that sophomore & junior year were extremely stressful. Are you set on a major? Have you lined up your required courses? Are you dong well in class this year? Multiply that by two for your girlfriend and add a factor of [unknown] for the stress of an intimate personal relationship. Not necessarily trying to dissuade you, but it ain’t gonna be all sweetness and light. Best of luck, ATS
Curious, if UGA will out of state for you and your gf.
KSU (Kennesaw State university) is in State I’m worried I won’t get in anyways. My grades are okay so far I think I need a 3.3 to transfer so I should be fine.
University can sometimes get stressful. This can result in strain on a relationship. If you have stress over exams or a major project, and you also have stress over who was supposed to wash the dishes, this can be very hard on a relationship.
University is also a huge change in a person’s life.
Partly for these reasons one of the two couples is very likely to break up before the end of the year. If you break up the week before finals, then where do you go? You will not have time to look for another option and you will need to focus on academics.
My oldest had been with her boyfriend for probably about 2 1/2 years before she went off to university. Fortunately they both found a very good fit in the same university. The relationship did not last the first year. I was worried about my daughter’s academics but she did pull it off. They did both end up graduating on time from the same university. However, fortunately they each had their own dorm room to live in after they broke up. Things were tough enough without having to suddenly find a place to live.
I think that it is a bad idea to live in the same apartment as your girlfriend at this point. Wait until you graduate.
Ew. It’s one thing to live together in college (which I still wouldn’t support) but quite another to live with another couple. Talk about double the trouble. I’m sure you could list for yourself the things that could go wrong with that.
I just can’t imagine why you’d want to give up your freedom at such a young age to live with someone. You can do everything you and your gf want to do together without sharing living quarters.
I was chatting with a 26 yr old from work. Both of us lived in NYC. He told me he was living with his girlfriend (that’s nice, how do you like living in the city…). The conversation then went a bit deeper. He said, “we moved in together to save some money. It’s working out well, but it’s moving a bit too fast for me. In hindsight it may be better if we didn’t move in together.” He is feeling the pressure of “what if she is not the one,” because most of their friends and family are assuming they will get married at some point.
My younger daughter (26) is in law school now. Her steady BF just moved 5 blocks away from her. They have been together 3+ years and probably will get engaged when she is out of school. They decided not to live together yet because they do not want the complication.
As a parent, I wouldn’t support (pay) for my kid to live with her BF while in college. My kid could do that when she is self supporting.
Living with another couple is just a bad idea - double the chance of breakup (and fights). Who is going to be responsible for the rent if someone should move out?
I wanted to thank everyone who commented, I realize now it was probably a stupid idea. Double the chance I get stuck paying the rent. I pay for my own college, it would be much more secure to just live in a dorm with my friend from the other couple. Once I graduate I will be much less stressed, and if I’m still with my girlfriend, we can move in together then.
Bingo and Bravo.
And sigh of relief coming from me at the same time.
Good decision! You only get one chance to live in a dorm, have student experiences, and make new friends. There are seasons to life and enjoy the one you are in.
I see a lot of young people today making decisions to live together based on finances. It always makes me a little sad for them. Taking a relationship to that next level should always be based on the heart.