This summer, my school notified some students that they would be letting 3rd years out of their housing contracts early if we requested (my school requires students to live on campus for a minimum of 3 years, typically). I calculated the costs and discovered it would be drastically cheaper to live off campus then on campus. The issue is, since it is such late notice before the semester and everyone has already found their living situations for this coming year and not as many people are financially motivated as I am (I am partially paying for my own schooling and have only one parent generating an income), I cannot find someone to live with. The surrounding area is not the safest so my parents are not fond of me living alone (also it’d be even cheaper to split the costs with a roommate).
My boyfriend of almost 9 months now mentioned he would be interested in breaking his contract and move off campus. We discussed the practicality of us moving in with one another. We have discussed living with each other before, but a year or two from now. We know moving in this soon in the relationship seems crazy, but we cannot deny the practicality of it.
My question is, do you all think it would be a good idea and worth the financial benefit? Keep in mind we are both entering our junior year of college.
Don’t do it just for financial reasons. I lived with my boyfriend (now husband) in college so I have nothing against doing so, however, I think 9 months is too short of time to be making that kind of commitment IMO. Both my kids have had relationships of 9 months to close to 2 years and they haven’t lasted. Not to say yours won’t but I think it is too early in the relationship, given your ages.
I would not move in with a BF of only 9 months as a college junior. It is too early in the relationship and if things don’t work out as you hope then it will become a huge problem because in addition to the emotional upset you will have a financial commitment and living arrangement locked in together for the rest of the year.
Many married couples stay married because they can’t afford to split up. It is painful for all parties involved. I told my daughters to always have their own place until they decide to make a life long commitment because the last thing I want is to have to stay with someone because of financial reason. Live with someone because you love him/her, not because you have to.
If you decide you should break up, you are either homeless, have a roommate who is your ex, or stick it out when you shouldn’t. All are bad options.
Think seriously what will happen if you break up. You are not going to like it if he starts dating someone else. I had a break up in college but fortunately we had a two bedroom apartment and I was able to sublease fairly quickly. I was the one who wanted the split so I was not devastated.
One thing I think is important to mention is even if you’re still in the “everything is exciting and we are so into each other phase”, people still get frustrated with each other. So that brings me to a question. Are you comparing prices with a studio apartment? I do not recommend a 9 month old couple move into a studio apartment because there is NO privacy. You need to have at least two separate spaces to be in, if there is ever tension, frustration, if one person has to study and the other has friends over, etc. It needs to be a 1 bedroom apartment at least.
I agree that moving in with your boyfriend is a poor idea because of the recency of your relationship and the possibility of breaking up with a lease. Beyond that, I find moving in with a boyfriend to save money rather than because of the relationship changes the relationship to a financial arrangement. That’ll also confuses the nature of your relationship and will be flung around in arguments. You may also find you spend less time at home and are out often so you may not save money or live within your means.
Are your parents on board with your new living arrangement? Finally I would rethink leaving the dorm because of convenience and familiarity, the cost is paid in advance and you might have choices such as meal services. You have a community in the dorm. I never felt constrained in the dorm and it was a retreat when the weather was bad, or I was tired or hungry or
I am not really sure that long going off campus is really cheaper, especially if you need to outfit an apartment, especially the kitchen and you would clean, cook, and cleanup after cooking.
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