Moving out of my house for the first time - How much aid can I expect?

Paying for College
1

<p>Hey everyone! I just joined the forums today :)</p>

<p>Warning, long post about money, housing, ambitions! I appreciate any input I can get, however.</p>

<p>I am a junior in college currently living with my mom. I am a full-time student with two on-campus jobs (my wages average out to $9.40 an hour and I work about 15 hours a week - I would work more but the limit is 20 hours)</p>

<p>I would live in the dorms but having lived there for a semester in my freshman year I find they just don't work for me. I'm kind of an old soul personality-wise and I find it stressful living around people my age who are noisy and always want to drink. Because of this I live at home with my mom. The problem is that I don't really get along with her either - she watches a lot of TV late at night and it is hard for me to get sleep. We have argued about this many times and I have come to the decision that I should probably just move out because we are not compatible. I help her with rent because she is a single supporting parent - It wasn't always this way - I grew up with both my parents until I was 18, and then she divorced my dad. My dad went through a mid-life crisis and quit his job. I see my dad regularly and have a solid relationship with him, despite the fact that doesn't want to work anymore and could be homeless in a year or two.</p>

<p>Because of my tiny paycheck, I am able to give my mom $120 a month, save another $300 to pay off my future college loans (I also plan on going to grad school to get a master's degreee) and I spend the rest, about $150, on food (this usually never lasts so I make myself PB&J sandwiches for lunch each day to save money and I also am thankful that my mom cooks dinner every night).</p>

<p>I'm thinking of moving into the YMCA or something and getting a single room of my own but I'm not sure how it will be possible with my paycheck. Most of the other students I know get an allowance from their parents every semester - and then spend it on things like liquor. Thankfully I am not interested in partying - so being frugal is not an issue for me. However I still feel like the amount I make is not enough. If I knew more students who were like-minded, I would pool my money with them and rent a place together, but most of the students I know who actually think on my level are 40 year old grad students, with husbands and kids. I can't just move in with these people - they have their own families to take care of.</p>

<p>I'm still listed as "dependent" on my mom's taxes.</p>

<p>I'm wondering how much money I will be given if I list myself as an independent on my FAFSA. I understand that I will probably then receive funding on my own - but will it be grants or loans? Especially daunting is the burden of paying for my father who is jobless.</p>

<p>I wonder if there are others out there who feel the same stresses I do. In a perfect world, I would have my $35.00-an-hour salary right now and none of this would be a problem. The least I can say is that I am passionate about my vocation. I am working towards a BA in French now but I plan on being an ESL teacher and traveling the world. I already work with foreign students on campus as an English conversation partner (not yet a teacher, as I would need a degree to become one of those)... and I can honestly say that my students light up my day. I wake up in the morning just so I can go to work. I would do this kind of thing for free, but knowing that one day I'll make even more money doing this kind of thing makes me even happier. I am so grateful, to have found a real vocation - something that I love but makes me money as well. It's just too bad I can't pay the bills with the job I have right now!</p>

<p>Thoughts?</p>

2

<p>You can’t just list yourself as independent for FAFSA, you must be able to answer “yes” one of the questions:</p>

<p>–are 24 years of age?
–are you married?
–are you supporting dependents of your own?
–are you enrolled in a graduate program?
–are you a veteran of the US armed forces?
–have you been placed in foster case or declared a ward of the court at any time since you turned 13?
–were in a legal guardianship or declared an emancipated minor before age 18?</p>

<p>If you can’t, you will remain dependent for FA purposes. </p>

<p>Does your school have a french culture/language housing floor? That might be more to your taste.</p>

<p>Would you consider applying to be a RA there?</p>

3

<p>Wireless earphones for the television for your mom; earplugs for you.</p>

4

<p>You can’t just list yourself as independent unless you meet the criteria. How old are you?</p>

<p>We have no idea of what kind of aid your school might give you. It may not give you anything more that you get now.</p>

<p>What is your FAFSA EFC?</p>

<p>What aid are you getting now?</p>

<p>What school is this?</p>

5

<p>Yup, earplugs are WAY cheaper than any other option you have listed. They have soft ones that you can barely feel. You will get used to them pretty quickly. It sounds like there are a lot of benefits for you (financial, mom cooks for you) if you can get around this issue for your last two years of school.</p>

6

<p>Thanks, everyone.</p>

<p>Unfortunately… I can’t answer “yes” to any of those questions.</p>

<p>I spoke with my mother about our EFC recently and we are listed as being able to contribute more than we actually can. I’m not sure how that happened. My mom keeps saying it’s due to the situation we experienced with the fiscal cliff.</p>

<p>My mom and I have discussed the earphones thing. She doesn’t like it. She feels like I am controlling her. And I don’t want to her control her. I don’t have a room, unfortunately… I sleep in her living room. She feels like I am burdening her, because she loves her TV. I’m not going to argue with her. I am a rather conservative person and know how to take care of myself. I contribute my fair share right now - that is to say, I help with dinner some nights (she says she doesn’t like it when I help because I ‘can’t do it the right way’… and I do the dishes and pay for groceries. She says still she hates my presence (she never wanted to have a child in the first place - it was my father’s idea).</p>

<p>I am looking at an $11.45-an-hour tutoring job right now to replace my current $8.40 library job which has become stagnant. </p>

<p>I’m just trying to see if the $11.45 tutoring job, plus my $10.00 an-hour-job with foreigners, will get me anywhere… assuming I have no roommates, am a full-time student, work no more than 20 hours a week, and still send money to my parents.</p>

<p>Like I said, I would live in the dorms. My mom would have her space alone that way. But I would go crazy around people my age, even the French majors. The typical college environment makes me feel sick… like I said, most of my close friends are in their 40s, even 50s and 60s… but they all have families to take care of, so I can’t move in with them like I could with students my own age.</p>

<p>My mom is 62 but she acts a lot younger. She watches Vampire Diaries every night and I try to stay out late to do my homework somewhere quiet. It’s gotten a bit more dangerous in my neighborhood lately. Somebody chased after me in their van while I was walking home. I tried to tell my mom about it but she told me I was interrupting her program… we have a very shaky relationship because she isn’t the kind of person who likes to talk out her problems. If I bring anything up, she yells at me and says she doesn’t want to hear it. My father and I have both gone to psychological counseling and have learned to be introspective and solve our own problems - that’s why I am trying to be proactive - yes, I am venting, but I am not JUST venting - I’m trying to do something about it too. Make more money. Move out. Help my parents from a disctance. My mom on the other hand has an escapist personality - she refuses to see a therapist, but I can see she is miserable. She has no friends. I at least have friends, even though they are all older than me. I want something better for myself and for my mom. I’m thinking if we live apart, our conflicts will be lessened. I am dreaming of a life where we can all live in separate households, and not be of a burden to one another, and be comfortable. </p>

<p>I think I needed this chance to talk about my feelings. I feel a little better, having told people about this. So… thanks for listening.</p>

<p>And, if anyone else has managed to move out at a young age, with a low salary… tell me of your experience, please. Did it work out? How did you do it? What were your reasons for wanting to move out?</p>

7

<p>I spoke with my mother about our EFC recently and we are listed as being able to contribute more than we actually can. I’m not sure how that happened. My mom keeps saying it’s due to the situation we experienced with the fiscal cliff.</p>

<p>?</p>

<p>What is your FAFSA EFC? </p>

<p>Does your school “meet need”? What aid did you get when you lived on campus?</p>

<p>In the meantime, can you move the TV into your mom’s room OR sleep somewhere in your mom’s room while she’s watching TV in the living room?</p>

<p>If not, then gets some really good ear plugs for yourself. Pay attention to their ratings.</p>

8

<p>

</p>

<p>I was going to say the same thing. Maybe a white noise generator for your bedroom. [ETA: sorry, missed the part about sleeping in the living room!]</p>

<p>You said you lived in the dorms for a semester freshman year. How did you pay for that?</p>

9

<p>I guess I could try the earplugs thing. I know my mom doesn’t want to use earphones herself (see long reply above).</p>

<p>Maybe this whole post is just a way of expressing my loneliness. I don’t know. It’s always been hard for me to live this way. When I was a kid and I tried talking to my mom she would always push me away and say “You’re ruining my TV shows. Go away.” …and yet it’s hard to say my mom is “neglectful” because she indeed pays the bills, cooks me dinner and lets me live in her house. I guess I just wish I meant more to her than that. I told her that I feel like her TV shows mean more to her than I do. I try to imagine having a daughter of my own and I can see myself talking to her every day and listening to all her fun adventures as she goes to school and grows up into a beautiful, special adult. The fact that I do well in school, don’t act out, have hobbies like writing and drawing, and work 2 jobs, and get pushed to the side by a mom who demands my help but never thanks me for it… just makes me really sad, I guess. I’m a good person. I feel like I deserve better.</p>

10

<p>MathmomVT:</p>

<p>The first semester I was in the dorms, my parents were still together and my dad helped me pay for board.</p>

<p>Now that my dad is jobless my attentioned has turned towards him… and keeping him off the streets.</p>

11

<p>Does your school offer “substance-free” housing or other alternative housing choices where you might find more like-minded students? Maybe a quiet floor or multilingual or international housing etc?</p>

12

<p>(you and I crossed posts – it sounds like you would not be able to afford the dorms even if you could find one that was more suitable for your needs.)</p>

13

<p>The dorms my peers reside in are all technically “substance-free,” but the rules just aren’t enforced well enough. Everyone hides stuff under their beds.</p>

<p>I’m trying to get in contact with the YWCA because from what I’ve seen, their residents are more like me - pretty quiet and just wanting to live a simple life. I think it would at least be better than the dorms. There is a YWCA that is right by my house and also by my college. They want 65 dollars a night for single occupants, however. On my salary I could never afford that, unless I got help from the goverment somehow. Still trying to work out the possibility of getting money to fund my own housing and be listed as a ‘dependent’ under my mom… hmm…</p>

14

<p>The first semester I was in the dorms, my parents were still together and my dad helped me pay for board.</p>

<p>Then it doesn’t sound like you’d be given aid for room and board.</p>

<p>What kind of school is this? Private? Public?</p>

<p>What is your EFC?</p>

<p>Now that my dad is jobless my attentioned has turned towards him… and keeping him off the streets.</p>

<p>Just a thought…I don’t think you should be trying to get a place of your own. Your dad may begin to think that it’s a place that he can move into for free. If he knows that he’ll be homeless with no place to go, it might inspire him to get some kind of job again…</p>

15

<p>On the contrary - if we included the price of the dorms in our FAFSA, I think we could recieve funding to live there - I just wouldn’t be able to buy extra groceries for myself with my dad’s money like I could before. That is to say, that it could be possible, just a lot harder. But again, the dorms don’t work well with me.</p>

<p>What I am wondering now is if the FAFSA could help fund for housing in places that are not affiliated with my school. The YWCA is not affliated. So I don’t know how the FAFSA funds that kind of thing. If they do, I’m moving out right now!:)</p>

16

<p>I’ve thought of that, but my dad is pretty unstable. I can see him being homeless just as a way to spite my mom and prove a point. He doesn’t have the same survival instincts that I have. he tends to be self-destructive.</p>

17

<p>

</p>

<p>You couldn’t afford that even if you were working full-time (at your current or even hopeful rates). </p>

<p>I don’t know where you live, but that’s really expensive for a room ($2K/month). Check with them and see if they have a lower rate for monthly residents. Check Craigslist in your area to see if you can find cheaper alternatives (like someone renting a room out in their house). </p>

<p>The government is not going to pay to support you moving out of your mom’s home. Sorry. You’re going to have to find a way to do it yourself or wait until you are out of school and have a job that allows you to support yourself.</p>

18

<p>My mom just came home and is screaming at me… I told her I’m trying to do research and make more money and she’s making fun of me and saying I’m screwed.</p>

<p>I want to call my mom abusive. Really, I do.</p>

<p>The lines are blurred however when she supports me financially. </p>

<p>She has given everything to me in terms of money.</p>

<p>But I’ve told myself, I’d rather be poor and fund myself than live with someone as mean as her.</p>

19

<p>Thanks… I guess I needed a reality check. My dad has always told me, “it’s just X more years… you just have to put up with her abuse.” </p>

<p>I hate putting up with this. But I guess I have no other option.</p>

<p>…thanks anyway you guys. if it was at least just to listen to my story. It means a lot to me.</p>

20

<p>kittycat, you can ask your school if you’d get any additional funding if you lived on-campus or an in an off-campus apartment, rather than living at home. Generally speaking if they would fund you to live in the dorms, they would also fund you to live off-campus.</p>

<p>But… government aid is limited based on income, not expenses (slightly over-simplified). there’s only a small amount you can get in Pell grants (Approximately $5K) and if you’re already getting it, you can’t get more, even if you have more expenses. </p>

<p>Your only hope is to get more aid from the school. That would likely only be a possibility if the school promises to “meet need”</p>

<p>What kind of aid are you getting right now to pay for school?</p>