<p>I came across this article. It's a good read and one to pass on to our kids in high school, college, and beyond. We all try to raise our kids well and hope ours are not the ones doing the bullying or being bullied of course, but it is a reality and something that warrants a discussion. If the link gets deleted, go to contemporary musical theatre dot world press dot com and look for the 10/30 blogpost
<a href="http://contemporarymusicaltheatre.wordpress.com/2014/10/30/musical-theatre-bullies/">http://contemporarymusicaltheatre.wordpress.com/2014/10/30/musical-theatre-bullies/</a></p>
<p>very interesting. This is a good example of why it is important to try and visit the campus and sit in on classes and spend the day if you can. This article drives home the “fit” factor when you are looking at schools. Many departments give off a vibe and hopefully spending the day there will allow you to see it</p>
<p>Good article! Theatre bullies certainly do exist, I’m guessing in virtually every program in the country. I also suspect they’d be very hard to spot during a campus visit. Heck, I suspect most of us are old enough to know that it can sometimes take years to recognize devious/smart bullying.</p>
<p>This was actually one of the reasons our D opted for a larger program rather than a class of 20. I also think it’s worth noting that professors, directors, administrators and even parents can bully as well as peers. </p>
<p>As a side note, the bullying/sarcastic tone was part of why I couldn’t finish reading the Annoying Actor Friend book.</p>
<p>Of course bullying isn’t restricted the theatre, but it is a shame to pile that behavior on top of an already stressful career path. Recent celebrity suicides highlight the reality that even successful actors are not immune to emotional pain. I hope all of our kids find ways to incorporate loving kindness into their lives, and are able to surround themselves with people who do the same.</p>
<p>Wow! I loved that article! Especially this part: “And this is the MOST IMPORTANT STEP. Accept the fact that other people’s successes are NOT your failures. As long as you work hard at your craft, are passionate about what you do, and exude a positive energy, your time will come. And when it does, you will want your peers by your side supporting you just like you did them when they had their moment.” my D has been blessed with a group of very talented friends who are all supportive of each other. They train at the same pre-professional facility and will miss each other greatly once they all leave for college, However, she sees more of the theatre bullies in her school theatre program. She has no patience for them, or the “drama” they create, and luckily, has been successful in “staying out” of whatever is brewing daily. She hopes to land in a school setting that is supportive. For her, that is part of the “fit” she hopes to find. After all, she will (hopefull/knock on wood) be spending quite a lot of time with her peers in a.BFA setting!</p>
<p>It may be easier to be supportive in a setting where you are truly “one of a kind”, and the idea of a kinder-gentler program is appealing, but that will almost certainly not always be the case in the real world. The reality is that people will get roles you want, or desperately need to make your rent payment, even if you’re lucky enough to land a stint on Broadway. And there will, sadly, occasionally be people who, for whatever reasons, go out of their way to make you miserable. In this sense, learning to behave decently even when faced with bullying and/or disappointment is an important life skill for actors (and everyone else) to master.</p>
<p>I have rarely been prouder of D than when she tells me how impressed she was by a performance given by someone playing a role she really wanted, or that she could see what a director was going for with a dissappointing (to her) casting choice.</p>
<p>In the end, becoming a decent adult is far more important than becoming a successful actor.</p>
<p>Amen, @MomCares! Becoming a decent adult is far more important than becoming a successful actor,. And yes, the real world isn’t necessarily “warm & fuzzy”. However, I am glad my D has had practice avoiding the “bullies” or the drama they create(even in her sheltered environment), for now she has a frame of reference. However, she also knows what “can be” because she has experienced it. When she goes into the real world, she will know what to expect and will have some skills in dealing with it.</p>
<p>@addicted2MT - Agreed! Having experienced working in a mature, professional, supportive environment sets the bar where it belongs. D has also been exceptionally fortunate in that regard, including so many positive communities before college, in local regional theatre, in college and now in the lovely Chicago theatre world. But as you say, it’s valuable to master the skills needed to “ignore unwanted behavior” or otherwise cope when encountering the occasional bully, as well as to have some chances to watch and see that, over time, such behavior rarely pays off. (Unless you find a market for snarky blogs and books, apparently. 
)</p>
<p>It’s interesting the different takes on the same material. Not with the article, which is great- but with Annoying Actor Friend. While I FREELY admit it is snarky (and often long winded) I enjoyed it immensely- especially the skewering of the all too frequent “#soblessed” aspect- the people who act as if fame and success fall from the sky for them b/c of their enormous fabulousness. Or maybe I have just spent a number of years around some people who really do act that way…Not that I wish anyone disappointment or distress, but sometimes the big fish in small ponds have no idea there is another ocean out there</p>
<p>@toowonderful - my D and I took turns reading the book to each other during a long car trip and literally LOL, tears and all. But then, we never took it too seriously. For us, it was purely entertainment, a piece of fiction, peppered with grains of truth as perceived by the author. We are all so different. We all see things from different perspectives, and that’s OK. That’s what keeps things interesting! </p>
<p>@addicted2MT - totally agree, that was how I saw it too</p>
<p>I used to enjoy the Annoying Actor Friend blog and drinking games, but by the time the book came out the non-stop snark all just became depressing to me. It began to feel less like humor and more like trying to make light of dwelling in a snotty, competitive, mean-spirited world that I never want my child or friends to have to inhabit.</p>
<p>I think the article nails the point that snark is often a thinly-veiled form of bullying (“just kidding”), and by embracing that form of humor it sometimes seems like condoning cruelty that can sting vulnerable people. But of course well-placed sarcasm can be very funny.</p>
<p>Maybe I was just in the wrong frame of mind when the book arrived. :)</p>
<p>@MomCares - while I did enjoy the book, I will concede that I would probably not want to frequent the AAF blog too frequently. I can only take so much of that humor… In the words of the estimable Jane Austen, “Of some pleasures, a little goes a long way…”</p>
<p>And I did it the opposite way- read the book, have never looked at the blog etc… so maybe amusement comes from small doses :)</p>
<p>Just overheard a mom talking to her ~11-year-old son during my morning walk. </p>
<p>“I guess you’ll have to figure out how to play with John Doe on the roster… or how to get rid of him.” </p>
<p>Really, mom?</p>
<p>Bullies raising bullies @MomCares unreal.</p>
<p>I know, @MTMajorCook! It was all I could do not to stop them and share my thoughts about that moment of parenting, but I refrained. :)</p>
<p>Honestly, if you look at the parents of most bullies, you see where the kid got it from…</p>
<p>@GSOMTMom SO true! We call them Monster Mommies at my house. Unfortunately, theater bullies come in all shapes and sizes.</p>
<p>Indeed they do - and the worst of it is that they are so often two faced. Bullies talk a great game of what needs to happen “for the kids” and then stab others in the back at every available opportunity.</p>
Fyi, just saw that Annoying Actor Friend has opened up about his identity…
http://annoyingactorfriend.com/andrew-briedis/