<p>Prompt: Is it better for a society when people act as individuals rather than copying the ideas and opinions of others?</p>
<p>Throughout history, humankind has tapped its collective resources to elevate its place in the universe. Out of the raw materials of the Earth and his own mind, man has produced art and technology that at times boggles the imagination. While individuals often build on the ideas of their predecessors, society as a whole truly advances when people behave as individuals rather than merely imitating others.</p>
<p>Socrates is often regarded as the most influential figure of ancient (and perhaps Western) philosophy. Noted for his peculiar teaching style, he was a man who tended to go his own way. He stirred up controversy wherever he traveled by questioning beliefs and philosophies that has held sway in his society for centuries. He challenged the traditional power structure, religion and pedagogy. He didn't merely question, however. He also posited powerful theories of this own. He was ultimately persecuted for his staunch individuality, but he left behind (through Plato) a deep well of knowledge that continues to influence society thousands of years later.</p>
<p>Like the ancient philosophers, of whom Socrates was king, Americans have, since their beginning, embraced a strident individualism. No country or society has ever produced so much innovation (Britain may be a close second) and maybe no society will ever surpass its achievements. There must be a reason that Americans have produced some of the most influential inventions of the past 200 years, everything from the cotton gin to the personal computer. I think it's clearly American's refusal to merely copy that has led to this.</p>
<p>While we all stand on the shoulders of the giants before us, true and lasting change, innovation and progress only comes when individuals assert and embrace their individual talents, potentials, mindsets and aspirations. Imitation may be the ultimate form of flattery, but innovation is the ultimate expression of a human being unfettered.</p>
<p>Throughout history, humankind has tapped its collective resources to elevate its place in the universe. Out of the raw materials of the Earth and his own mind, man has produced art and technology that at times boggles the imagination. While individuals often build on the ideas of their predecessors, society as a whole truly advances when people behave as individuals rather than merely imitating others.</p>
<p>Socrates is often regarded as the most influential figure of ancient<a href="and%20perhaps%20Western">/I</a> philosophy. Noted for his peculiar teaching style, he was a man who tended to go his own way. He stirred up controversy wherever he traveled by questioning beliefs and philosophies that **has* held sway in his society for centuries. He challenged the traditional power structure, religion and pedagogy. He didn't merely question, however. He also posited powerful theories of this own. He was ultimately persecuted for his staunch individuality, but he left behind (through Plato) a deep well of knowledge that continues to influence society thousands of years later.</p>
<p>Like the ancient philosophers, of whom Socrates was king, Americans have, since their beginning, embraced a strident individualism. No country or society has ever produced so much innovation <a href="Britain%20may%20be%20a%20close%20second">B</a>** and maybe no society will ever surpass its achievements. There must be a reason that Americans have produced some of the most influential inventions of the past 200 years, everything from the cotton gin to the personal computer. I thinkit's clearly American's refusal to merely copy that has led to this.</p>
<p>While we all stand on the shoulders of the giants before us, true and lasting change, innovation and progress only comes when individuals assert and embrace their individual talents, potentials, mindsets** and aspirations.** Imitation may be the ultimate form of flattery, but innovation is the ultimate expression of a human being unfettered.</p>
<p>Errors in subject-verb agreement, use of the passive voice and contractions, tense inconsistencies, unclear references, etc.
It's well written, considering you only had twenty-five minutes to write it.
I would give it a 10/12.</p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with using the passive voice, nor is the use of contractions necessarily incorrect (although it does engender a less formal tone, it is not an error). The slight flaws I saw were in word choice (Americans don't have a "beginning" and "potentials" is not a word) and grammar (American's instead of Americans', minor mistakes relating to subject-verb agreement, etc.). Certainly, there was a substantial amount of repetition (overusing several words). Nonetheless, I think it merited an 11 or a 12.</p>
<p>This essay actually only received a score of a NINE.</p>
<p>I was expecting an 11 or 12, but would not have been surprised by a 10. I inexplicably ran short on time and had to wrap up the second example prematurely. Whatever the case, one grader gave this a FOUR which is simply outrageous. This is not a four level essay, period.</p>
<p>Just an example of how subjective some of these scores can be.</p>
<p>Sorry everyone, I didn't mean to mislead anyone. I thought this would be the best way to present my case.</p>
<p>p.s. kwu, a number of the things you bolded are simply not errors in any sense of the term, and a number of them are typos that I created while quickly transcribing this. The major bona fide error is the very first on you point out, which I discovered with horror while transcribing this.</p>
<p>As for MC, I missed one improving sentences question. Total score was 740.</p>
<p>ahh, very nice! i also got a 9 on my essay, my examples were britney spears and tom cruise, XD !! i was very didactic in my approach to the essay but my thesis was awesome.</p>
<p>Damn, and here I believed you, considering how arbitrarily these things are assigned grades. It's outrageous. The reason I ripped your writing was because it reminded me of something I would have written.</p>
<p>Also, they aren't errors, but nuances that should be given attention in formal writing.</p>
<p>The essay lacks substance, man. The entire time I was reading your well-written essay, I was wondering: how is this kid going to draw a connection? I was expecting some wonderful, well-thought out answer that was going to blow my mind, but instead I read a flimsy sentence that suggests "you think" America's innovation is successful for its citizens' individualism. You missed the entire point. You had a well constructed introduction, but failed to actually support your latter argument, which is the point of the essay. </p>
<p>This is a lesson that fallacious or inadequate reasoning upsets SAT essay graders.</p>
<p>How the tone magically changes when I say what the real score is :)</p>
<p>thedaily: like I said, I ran out of time to completely develop the second example, which led to the admittedly "flimsy" last sentence. The point remains that that is not a four level essay, by ANY standard I've seen. I encourage you to read four level essays that the College Board releases as examples.</p>
<p>Finally, please don't throw around words like fallacious if you're not clear on what they mean. I committed no fallacies, formal or informal in my "America" example. I stated an opinion but simply did not have the time to support it. That's not a "fallacy" by any stretch of the imagination.</p>
<p>Man, I never suggested that you used fallacious reasoning. I just said: this shows that the SAT essay graders care about reasoning (i.e., supporting an argument). Thus, SAT essay graders don't like fallacious or inadequate reasoning. Your essay would fall under the 'inadequate' category.</p>
<p>I would recommend writing more. It appears to me that the quality of writing is far less important than the length of the essay. I wrote an horrible essay on the June test and received a 10 because I had three examples and filled up every last line. </p>
<p>I referenced Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton all in one paragraph.</p>
<p>I referenced a made-up book with the absurd title "Stars Under Pressure" written by "Steve Chamberlain". Yes, I referenced a non-fiction book as though I had researched the topic prior to the test, hahaha.</p>
<p>I then wrote about how homeless people can be happy while extremely rich people can be depressed because I felt like it.</p>
<p>The fact that I filled up all 2 pages until the last line gave me a 10, my ridiculous writing probably prevented me from getting a 12, but didn't hurt me enough to put me below a 5 from each scorer. </p>
<p>To sum it up, have 3 examples, with at least one being a literary reference (try to choose a novel though) and fill up every last line and I can guarantee you will get at least a 10.</p>