I think your appeal is well-written, and I am sorry you have had to struggle through so much sickness and worry. I am glad you are doing better and hope you will have success at whichever college you wind up at. I did see one word you could change. In the sentence with “when I finally talked to a friend”, change “can” to “could”.
In another thread, someone said that UCI had more students SIR than they can accommodate this year. If that is true, then, unfortunately, it is going to be extra tough to get admitted.