<p>okay before i start.. i want ot go to 3 schools. UCSD (1) UCLA (2) and UCB (2 if i get in!)
so here is my application essay outline .. ill be asking my counselors etc. but just getting genreal feedback from people :)
okay so this is sort of my outline (ish) for both prompts..</p>
<h1>1:</h1>
<p>i can talk about being indian, and how i always read indian newspapers and am shocked at the destruction in india. umm.. there are thousands of people in india who are illiterate, hundreds of thousands are suffering from a disease, and the majority have no money to live. i visit india almost every year and i see no progress in the country. it may be rising to be one of the global powers but the nation still doesnt care for its people. i want to be a pharmacist because i want to use this knowledge in medicine to go around the world (maybe teaming up with doctors) and helping people out with the type of medication they should take. many people around the world, who suffer from a disease, cannot do a thing about it, because they have no cash. (is this a good start or is this more leaning towards prompt 2?)</p>
<p>EDIT: or since im in america should i write about america too.? i dont feel like i should mention america because they have everything, but indians dont really have much.. just a group of greedy politicians screwing the country) </p>
<p>Prompt 2
i have learned the bass guitar and im still a basic learner, but it has helped me understand things about myself. i had always felt i was musically-challenged. i never listened to rock music, or for that part, at least music that included the bass. one day i picked it up, and started to play it. its a great thing. i can even play the National Anthem and happy birthday, without looking at the chord or the tabs or even the guitar stings and frets!. (blah blah blah!) </p>
<p>(also prompt 2:)
tenth and eleventh grade were the years i surprisingly shined. i never used to talk in class. i rarely raised my hand. it was just so embarrassing for me. every time the teacher called on me to read to the class or answer a question my ears would turn a shade of deep pink. i always wondered what the others would say or think about me. i never got together my own mental conscience, and never took a chance at life. however, in tenth grade i was assigned to make a video about some book we read (using a modern outtake) and show it to the class.. as the movie ran on, my head was buried under my arms, shying away from the rest of the world where they would see my hideous and horrid acting. after the movie ended, everyone turned to me and said i did an excellent job, even the teacher was surprised. then for our Individual Learning Project, we each had to learn something and present it to the class. many chose dancing, or gardening, however i chose to learn a language- Hindi. We each had two practice rounds, where we would practice how to formally speak, etc. then the final presentation of what we learned. I nailed each and every presentation and shocked myself slightly more than i had shocked the class. every time i went up there i was a different person. i was no longer a shy person, but rather a public spokesman, enjoying every last bit of it. then in 11th grade we had to present a decade for US history./ my group chose the 70's and i was appointed in charge of the entire project (overlooking it) and being Nixon. I was really nervous, my i could practically hear my heart beating and i felt like my chest would explode shooting out small confetti full of blood. when i started my Nixon speech i could see 28 pairs of eyes gleaming on me, laughing at me for the way i acted, watching me from every angle. But halfway i started gaining mental control and shocked the teacher and again everyone in the class..</p>
<p>(this is written from my heart, i dont know which category this fits, or if it even works.. it sounds a bit like bragging, thats why i wasnt sure if i should use it..and thats why im asking you.. ill ask my counselors and all, but wanted to know if i was on the right track..</p>
<p>thanks</p>
thanks…</p>