My brief essay idea.

College Essays
1

<p>I'm a B+ student, so I'm not going to be the innovative thinker of English class but here's my very brief idea. I want to keep this my idea so I'm keeping it general. ^__^
True story of course..</p>

<p>My brothers, my neighbors, and I are playing outside. My neighbor's mom cannot find her baby girl. She sees the front door open and freaks out. Calls 911. The dad freaks out. My brothers and my neighbor freak out. No one bothers to check upstairs since it's a baby girl. While they run into the neighborhood I stay behind and look upstairs. Vuala! There she is.</p>

<p><em>Basically I want to show that I'm calm thinker.</em> I assess things. But right now as I type this, my idea seems very 1 sided. I don't act by instinct?? Doubting myself right now... is this idea good?</p>

2

<p>I think it’s going to turn out to be an exciting story, but I’m afraid it won’t show that much of who you are as a person…</p>

<p>Haha, can I read it when you’re done?</p>

3

<p>thanks, now I think it’s a great topic. LOL. I just need to remember to show my personality in the essay.</p>

4

<p>Very cool idea. Definitely sounds original.</p>

5

<p>It sounds like it could be interesting, but it also sounds really brief for a main essay. I mean, I can easily imagine you padding it with a lot of description, but I can’t easily imagine you padding it with your personality. Your thoughts might help? Like, observations on what’s going on?</p>

<p>Also, always remember to do a once-over of your essay one last time before you submit it. E.g., it’s spelled “voila!” I know it’s the internet, but one of my UChicago essays ended up with a phrase from an old version of a sentence in the middle of the new version (like “Now that I am and yet older than I was when x occurred”), so I am combining my spelling correction with advice I should have paid more attention to.</p>

6

<p>Um, how old were you when this happened? The story sounds like a funny anecdote but I don’t think it really sheds light to anything about you. The whole “ahh, my baby is stole” kind of overshadows your calmness under pressure.</p>

7

<p>Ok, yeah that makes sense. It seems like I can’t tell a lot with that story.</p>

<p>My life is boring! How many teenagers have life changing epiphanies?? “AH I SEE THE LIGHT NOW! I KNOW MY PURPOSE IN LIFE! And only I’m 17 yrs old!”</p>

<p>How about:

  • my relationship with my younger twin brothers. I’ll talk about sharing, compassion, and being a big brother.
  • or I could “exaggerate” my original idea to include more of my personality.</p>

<p>Arghh</p>

8

<p>^ I totally agree. I have NO idea what to write because I guess I’m just a regular kid. Blah this sucks</p>