It has been 2 years since my older brother died. After an altercation with my mother, he ran away. One week later he was found dead due to heart ailments in a quiet neighborhood. He was gone physically, but when he went he ripped away years of memories and experiences with him. Worse, it had a ripple effect to my parents marital lives. I was suddenly put in a precarious position. As now the eldest child of a Chinese-American family, it was my responsibility to carry the torch of dogged confidence and become the first in my family line to go to college. I could not bear the weight of such a burden and when freshman year began, I immediately started at a downward spiral. I had 1 “A” several “B’s” and even some unsightly “C’s”. Depression gripped me to the core. At school I was a moody outcast. At home I was rocked with domestic troubles. At worst, I contemplated suicide. There was, however, a silver lining in the midst of such despair and that was surprisingly my AP Human Geography class. The teacher managed to show me the lighter side of the world and I began my own quest for salvation. I found through my own introspection and philosophical refection a way out of the bleak. During sophomore year I heightened my productivity and vigor by taking all honors and AP courses available. I maintained everything above a 93 and made two 5’s on the two AP courses offered. I joined clubs such as science club, speech and debate, Junior World Affairs Council, and some others. During the summer of sophomore year I worked for a law firm in New York (Uncle’s), set up an orphanage (Lao Center for the Lost) in Fuzhou, China, and started a basketball club for advanced students who refrain from exercise. After some more contemplation, I joined the IB Diploma Program for junior year and joined the Congressional Youth Advisory Council of Congressman Sam Johnson. Soon I was invited to a luncheon with former Ambassador to Iraq, Christopher R. Hill. Now a junior, I just finished first semester with a plethora of “A’s” in all IB courses save 2 “B’s”. In regards to testing, I managed to raise my PSAT from 146 during freshman year to a 206 in junior year effectively making me a National Commended Scholar. Currently I plan on joining the UT Southwestern Summer Research Program and going to nationals (maybe 1st) in Academic Worldquest. In terms of GPA and Rank, I managed to pull myself from a 3.44 to a 3.99 (odd weighting system) and from rank 505 of 1551 to 194 of 1551. Although I’ve had an exponential advancement, I still worry for my less than appealing freshman year. I fear colleges cannot see from my transcript- which is organized by subject not by year- that I have matured, overcame, and excelled after a great loss.
I apologize for the long post, but this trepidation still lingers within the back of my mind. What if those top tier colleges don’t care? What if all my work was a mere bagatelle for the colleges? How will they know that my bother’s death affected me? Am I even within range of Cornell’s standards? (My first choice/early decision school) I know College Confidential isn’t the place resolve my sentiments, but I need objective answers. I beg of you to give me the truth of my predicament. Please do not include arbitrary responses that are merely statements to mitigate my ailing sentiments, for it is truth I seek.
With utmost gratitude,
A worried student.
There’s a place on the common app where you can detail these experiences and the effect they had on your education (other than the essay, if you want to write about something else there). Explaining your situation to colleges may help you out some. Have your counselor discuss it in his/her letter as well.
Oh, lord, that must have been awful.
If it was only your freshman grades that were affected and you fully explain what happened to the colleges, they should understand. Plus, they’ll like the upward trend, anyways. Good job working past it, and I wish you the best.
The truth is, even if your life had been perfect, every single thing falling into place exactly as it should, that those “top tier” colleges would still have been a reach for you. You have been through a huge ordeal, and you’re coming out the other end a stronger, and definitely wiser and more empathetic, person. Your guidance counsellor can speak to your brother’s death in his/her letter of recommendation if you don’t want to do it yourself. The best thing you can do for yourself is to expand your goal beyond Cornell–still apply there, of course, but try to fall in love, at least a little bit, with 5 or so other schools as well. What you love right now is just an image. The reality is that you will still be the same person there, from the same family, with the same struggles. Resilience is an extremely useful skill, and the skill most necessary for achieving a successful life. I suspect pretty strongly, that, Cornell or some other school, you will be fine. Best of luck to you, and much love.
No time right now, a quick word only, but strong upward trend with serious life situation to overcome will be considered strongly by colleges with holistic admissions. Of course you will be affected by a trauma by any standards. However there is no reason to fix on a particular college. It simply isn’t important. You will take you wherever you go and you have found a path to success out of troubles already. I suggest you try not to make your essay with as florid language as you use here and try to be more simple and honest. I can’t tell if you are in the US or not but if so, you are sounding like a foreign student, and not as natural as a US student would sounds. Forgive me, I am not trying to remove your personal touch.
I agree with Brown Parent, I also wondered if you are a foreign student. It feels like you’re writing behind a wall and in some sentences I had to guess what you were truly meaning. However, it also comes across that there is a person with a heart back there behind the wall, and a certain amount of eloquence, which is good, and very memorable. So that’s something to work on and expand. 
Thank you for all the responses and yes I am a domestic student.
I am incredibly sorry for all you had to go through, and this may sound extremely bad but it’s my advice. Write about this; enter writing competitions Scholastic next year and write passionately about this and you will get awards and perhaps scholarships if you can apply that essay to other opportunities. You seem worried about college, and the prospect of winning awards and scholarships will greatly aid you in that venture. Good luck, my friend.
@infinitium You sound like a wonderful student and a child that any parent would be proud of. Do you have someone you can talk to about your feelings and how you’re dealing with them? Don’t be shy about taking help whenever and wherever it is offered. And make sure that your GC and others who are communicating with Cornell and the other schools that you should be applying to explain the situation clearly.
My 27-year-old son died unexpectedly this fall one week after my daughter applied ED to her first-choice college. The turmoil of his death and the grief we are dealing with as a family surely would have affected her application process greatly if she had not already finished her ED application. As a result of our family situation, she ended up applying to only one school—luckily she was accepted. Her high school has been very accommodating, but I know dealing with a busy senior year and processing our family’s loss must continue to be a challenge for her.
Remember, too, that you honor your brother by living your own life to its fullest. And you seem to be doing a remarkable job of that. As @redpoodles said, resilience is trait that will serve you well not just during the next few yeas, but for the rest of your life. I’m rooting for you…but I also know how hard this is for you.
@EllieMom I found your post extremely moving. Telling the OP that he honors his brother best by living his own life to the fullest is wonderful advice, especially from someone who experienced the loss of a child. Your daughter is fortunate to have a mother like you.