<p>That’s smart, Tperry, not to go see her. </p>
<p>I disagree with advice given earlier, for the OP to go visit the son for the weekend. It is extremely tempting, I know, and it will make everyone feel better for a day or two. But when it’s time to leave, it will be agonizing, and it will do nothing to stop the phone calls next week. </p>
<p>My son was very homesick when he went 3000 miles away for college. He also called everyday to let me know how miserable he was. We flew there for Parents Weekend in October, flew him home for Thanksgiving as well as Christmas. However, after winter break, he had made more friends with common interest and never said he wanted to come home. On a plus side, he continued calling home every day, all 4 years. :)</p>
<p>Give it time, hear him out and reassure him that things will get better. I know it is disheartening to get these calls, but be supportive and I assure you he will adjust.</p>
<p>D1 called me the first week of college to say she was the only person in her class (3000 students) who didn’t have friends. She was very upset on the phone with me. I tried to call her back few hours later, there was a lot of noise in the background and she was puzzled as to why I was calling her. With D2, I was more relaxed when she would be upset on the phone.</p>
<p>@cbreeze I just love that your son called home every day for 4 years. </p>
<p>I hate it. Kid needs to get his own life started.</p>
<p>We’ve had 1 phone conversation in the two weeks since DS has been gone, but we text every day. I think texting is better at keeping in touch while not being smothering. </p>
<p>There are also chaplains in the dorms at Georgetown. There are both men and women and many different faiths- he can speak with one of them. However, I highly recommend going to the counseling center! They will help. </p>
<p>OP, can we get an update?</p>
<p>OP; I hope things are going better for your son and that you can remind him about all the wonderful things that attracted him to the school. I also hope that he’s not like my mom: She is so stubborn that once she has decided she doesn’t like something or someone, there is no changing her mind. She is one of the few people who decided she didn’t want to adjust to her resort style senior residence, so after 3.5 months she gave notice there when I was out of town and then moved herself out.</p>
<p>Good idea on chaplains, mompop. If the student has a religious faith, that could be a very good path to help.</p>
<p>Much of this is normal. Its a shock leaving home. A big city with a lot of very ambitious people. And the pressures of school, socializing. </p>
<p>A few things:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Be supportive, but not coddling. Listen intently for other issues like depression. </p></li>
<li><p>Homesickness is normal. It does get better and growing up is often challenging. </p></li>
<li><p>Remind him of his dreams and that it does take work to get where you want to go in life. No free lunch.</p></li>
<li><p>Reach out to the RA’s. </p></li>
<li><p>If there is any bullying going on for whatever reason, discern the facts and report it. </p></li>
<li><p>Were you an overprotective parent in high school? If so, it can be counterproductive. </p></li>
<li><p>He needs to share his feelings…without being too whiney and overly needy. Be honest. But also be willing to try suggestions from other students. </p></li>
<li><p>Make sure he doesnt reach out to the wrong people, and start drinking or misbehaving. </p></li>
<li><p>College isnt high school. And Georgetown isnt low key. He has to buck up and grow up.</p></li>
<li><p>We went through turmoil at another school in New York freshman year and it all worked out beautifully in the end…but it was a rough go for several months adjusting to the big city and the aggressive ambitious types. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>What he should NOT do is clam up and hide, sinking deeper into despair and panic and anxiety. Counseling is helpful. RA’s. Clubs. Professors can even be very helpful. But he needs to reach out. </p>
<p>He can ping me if he wants. God bless.</p>
<p>Do you have a friend in the area that could take him out to dinner and make him feel special for a little bit? I think that’s half the shock is being just one of thousands of kids in a dorm room. </p>
<p>Why don’t you encourage your son to sign up for one of the Georgetown “Escape” weekends? It sounds like your son could benefit from being in a smaller group to make friends and connections with other students. </p>
<p><a href=“http://orientation.georgetown.edu/fye/escape”>http://orientation.georgetown.edu/fye/escape</a></p>
<p>Georgetown is an excellent school and your son obviously worked hard to gain acceptance there. Perhaps he is a bit harsh on himself at times? Encourage him to trust that the highly selective admissions process means that the school sees him as a perfect fit - otherwise he wouldn’t be there. </p>
<p>Give it time and please update us. Best wishes to you and your son! </p>
<p>This has already gotten a lot of answers, but I’d say that flying out and consoling him, or something similar, wouldn’t help. Had I been that homesick, having my parents show up to save the day would not have let me deal with it. A guy on my hall was close to home and he started going home because he was homesick, and he ended up at home for at least half the weekends the whole year. </p>
<p>I’m not so sure that flying out for the long weekend would be that bad. It is so hard to know.</p>
<p>My S called me from a music camp/seminar-like situation when he was a junior in HS. He had been going much farther away to CTY for 3 wks every summer since the summer after 7th grade, and had been to other music camps, but for some reason this situation threw him. I think there was a wider age range, into the 20s, and the kids were on their own during free time. I talked to him, asked if I could bring some stuff from home–it was no more than and hour away–and urged him to go look for some of the nice HS kids we knew and see what they were doing. He took my advice, I came over with some comfort food and items, and all was well. He loved the experience.</p>
<p>I say far better that you visit one weekend than he give up and come home. (I fully agree that urging him to seek out help for RAs and counselling services is key.)</p>
<p>This thread has helped me already & we don’t take DS to school until tomorrow.
Now I feel better prepared for the tearful phone calls I might receive.
I tried to warn him today, but he’s so excited, he can’t imagine being lonely, scared, sad. </p>
<p>I remember calling my parents crying & wanting to come home back when I was in school. My Mom told me to go immediately & sign up for a club. I found & pledged Alpha Phi Omega co-ed service fraternity. It was scary walking in alone, but I very quickly found a bunch of friendly, super fun people who ended up being dear friends. </p>
<p>My DS is so blessed to have his cousin there already & her boyfriend is his roommate, so he’s got a built in support system, but he’s never been away from home & will probably be homesick for his GF more than us!
At least he’s only a 2 hour drive away & will be home often. </p>
<p>Thanks for all of the excellent advice, everyone! :)</p>
<p>I haven’t even been to college yet, but I was at a summer college program away from home for 4 days. I cried to my mom on Skype lol. I do realize that it is something I have to get used to eventually, whether it is college or life in general. Make sure you contact him as many times as possible; but I guess he’s really attached to you. </p>
<p>One more: Don’t invalidate him. Don’t try to talk him out of feeling the way he feels. Don’t point out all the great things he should be liking and doing. “Even you don’t understand!” is what he’ll be thinking, if not saying. </p>
<p>At the same time, draw him out about anything he mentions that’s positive, no matter how small. It will help him to de-globalize his misery and start thinking and saying something good about his college. In one phone call the first week, my D, after crying and ranting for a while, wound down and then said, “The squirrels here are crazy” which led to a conversation about the large and humorous squirrel population. Dare I say there was even a laugh or two. The next week she told me about this great section of the library she’d found, and a few days later a comment about the cute TA in her photography class, and then how great the dining room waffles were. In each case, I’d invite her to tell me about it, and ask questions. </p>
<p>I won’t say that that technique made her love her college, but I think it helped her to start engaging her brain to try to identify exactly what it was she didn’t like (as opposed to “Everythingisbadgetmeouttahere”). And if nothing else, talking about squirrels and cute TAs gave both of us a few minutes’ relief, which was sorely needed on both sides.</p>
<p>I just wanted to share that withdrawing from school, especially when you are on the young side, and taking a gap year is not a failure. My SIL did this 30 plus years ago, went back to school after a year, and is now an independent and very successful business woman. </p>
<p>OP, I PM’ed you with some Georgetown info. I also wanted to add the web pointer to the Georgetown campus ministry resources in case that helps anyone. <a href=“Faith Traditions | Campus Ministry | Georgetown University”>http://campusministry.georgetown.edu/community/faith/</a> Do please update us when you can.</p>