My college essay is NOT an essay...Help!!!

Applying to College
1

<p>My personal statement for the common app has been rough. I finally came upon a final topic and just poured it out, for the first time without trying to write to perfection but simply speaking my mind.</p>

<p>I've gotten two opinions on it from two English professors, both say that it speaks mounds about me, and I said a lot more in 500 words than I would with my usual writing style, which is still good but in a polished, perfected tone...(that's how I write :):()</p>

<p>The problem is, my personal statement, as truthful as it is, is more of a story, ancedote with a point than a formalized essay. </p>

<p>So, am I doing something wrong? My teachers couldn't agree on whether the essay was about seeing how well you can write an essay -or- for admissions to hear your "voice" and see who you are in writing.</p>

<p>Is the personal statement about the actual quality of your essay writing or is it the actual content/underlying messages of the essay and what it say about the applicant?</p>

2

<p>I'm surprised to hear that your teachers don't know about how the essays are used. I would have thought most teachers of seniors would know, but oh well. It's the latter. The essay is for "for admissions to hear your "voice" and see who you are in writing." So basically, you're fine.</p>

3

<p>It's supposed to be a story. I mean its not like they want to see a summary of your entire life or a five paragraph essay with an intro and conclusion on a shakespeare play. Its not a formalized essay - just write about yourself.</p>

4

<p>It is it okay if it does not have a thesis? Because one teacher said that this is a fine paper, but my paper without a thesis is not an essay, and that is where my English teachers disagreed and I left them to their debate and came here.</p>

5

<p>Do you mean "thesis" as in "thesis sentence" and the usual structure of supporting paragraphs? </p>

<p>If so, I think that would generally make for a terrible college essay.</p>

<p>A story about some small event that allows an adcom a glimpse into your personality would be a much more promising way to go, IMO.</p>

<p>And, by all means, don't succumb to the temptation to close the story with a platitude like, "And from this, I learned that people everywhere are the same..."</p>

6

<p>A college essay is NOT supposed to test how well you can write!!!!</p>

<p>Your Writing SAT already did this. Your four years in English class already did this. Believe me, they'll know if you're good at writing essays- all they have to do is look at your grade.</p>

<p>Through your essay, you're trying to paint an accurate portrait of YOU. There are four parts to your application, and three of them are unchangeable: Your transcript, which you can't do anything about now, SAT scores, which tell you absolutly nothing except for how much your parents could pay for prep classes, and teacher recommendations, which you can't do anything about anymore, since they already have an opinion of you. The only part of your application that you can truly influence, is your essay.</p>

<p>Your essay should do so many things in those short five hundred words- yes, it does evaluate how well you can write (as in, you use proper grammer, don't write like a three year old, etc), but it also should show who you are. It shows whether you're outspoken, what your interests are, what kind of person you are. You'll get a vibe. Don't pressure yourself to write "the one essay that no one has ever written before" because, chances are, someone has already written it. Just concentrate on writing from the heart.</p>

<p>Adcoms are trained to know what kind of people will fit into their college. If you have truly shown them who you, and they still reject you, then you should thank them. They're now telling you that you aren't right for that school, even if you think you are. They should know, they've been doing this for years.</p>

<p>Do your job, show them who you are, so that you can let the adcoms do their job.</p>

<p>And def. no "I learned that...". Too generic.</p>

7

<p>Okay, so would anyone please care to read my essay? I just need some reassurance of whether or not I have something here or I need to star over... it's only 550 words.</p>

8

<p>I'll read it.. but I could be an essay theif. Like those bank robbers who wear nude tights over their heads and expect themseleves NOT to get caught. PUUULEAZE. Invest in a heavy weight head cover.</p>

<p>Email me if you want, <a href="mailto:peach3s@gmail.com">peach3s@gmail.com</a></p>

9

<p>Okay, and my essay is not steal-able. If I comment on a town-style meeting that my school has every Friday morning, then it's pretty hard to fake that one. </p>

<p>I pretty sure there is no other school in the world of ~100 students gathers in a Shaker Meeting House every Friday morning for a time of reflection, LOL :)</p>

10

<p>You've piqued my interest if you care to PM it.</p>

11

<p>May I ask for one more opinion, it a short essay and I still getting a love/hate response. Are there any experienced readers who might be able to judge whether my essay is acceptable?</p>