Common App- Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?
Basically it talks about how I became an atheist. The school I’m applying to is sort of religious, so I’m worried it will be a black mark against me. If you would like to read it please PM me. This is sort of urgent and I would really appreciate if anyone gives feedback!!!
I also have a second essay on another topic if anyone would like to read it.
I don’t recommend you show your essay for proofreading on the internet. People may copy it.
We even had another thread about this a few weeks ago. You have to ask yourself if this tale (and what it “shows”) is relevant to an admit review.
What makes this question urgent?
There is a school I’m applying to whose deadline is early July.
Here’s the thing: becoming an atheist may be an important step in your life, some pivotal point for you. Your English teacher may love the self-exploration and your rationale in an essay. But, adcoms are generally looking for something more- the attributes, how this changed you for the better, got you involved in some positive activity, developed resilience, etc, how you “show, not just tell” how this changed you. If its just a declaration, you don’t want them to have the “and so-??” moment. If you were writing about the decision to be Republican or vegetarian, same thing. How does it “show” them you are the right candidate? What;s the “more” that came from this?
As long as you don’t write anything offensive, and try to show your qualities through the essay, there is nothing wrong with writing about being an atheist. cos lets face it, most people’s essays will double up with someone else’s somewhere as there are so many people applying so chances of a special topic is basically impossible. 
If you are still looking for feedback, please pm me.
To write such an essay to a school that is somewhat religious is like a big f you to them. Why would you do that? If they are somewhat religious then they are running the school with certain core values. Strangely I had such a discussion with a student I worked with last year who considered writing about being agnostic and I advised against it. She is now at Notre Dame. I don’t think she would be there if she wrote such an essay. I don’t think that is interesting to a religious school, somewhat religious notwithstanding. I thing they would rather have another religion or someone who can express consideration for exploring spiritual side and what you do for yourself spiritually would be more appropriate topic. I personally believe to send such a f you to them is a kiss of death.
I mean, did you actually do anything to challenge a belief or was this just navel gazing? I personally do not believe being an atheist is an interesting topic for admissions and I am an atheist myself. It is a more interesting topic to sit around and discuss with your friends. It is a topic that comes up somewhat regularly here. If you can say or showed you did something interesting then maybe, but not for a ‘somewhat’ religious school.
College admission reps always try not to get offended by certain material, but they are human, so it happens. I think the most important thing when it comes to the essay isn’t so much what you write, but how you write about it. To use this idea, you would have to write about it very, very carefully.
Try asking someone you trust - preferably a Christian - if it sounds offensive. If you don’t want to show it to anyone, that’s probably a sign that you shouldn’t submit it.
Very risky topic. If done diligently, I think it could make you stand out and will express who you are. However, it’s going to be VERY hard to do. Try considering a something else.