My dad does not support the college I want to go to, and calls me a failure for it.

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Central Florida
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(Oh and note: I have posted this on reddit yesterday before today, but the situation today hasn’t resolved.) (Also sorry, I’m new to CC, so I don’t know how to really post on it, so I want to make it into a general post)

I got accepted to UCF for Summer 2017 (I didn’t want to stick around at home for a while). Meanwhile, I got deferred from FSU, and got accepted to UF PACE (an online program from UF). My dad was REALLY upset about the fact that I couldn’t get into the UF campus itself. He told me he wanted to call the school to try and change the admissions, because he said I couldn’t do anything. But I told him that could really affect my chances of trying to make the school as a transfer from UCF to UF.

Then, he discussed on how UCF is really such a terrible school, and that I’m nothing but a “Joe-blow person” and how I’m not a scholar kid. I tried to assure him that I would make it to UF, but he gives me a whole spiel on how “I’m going to ruin myself” and how “He was so much better than me going to his college” before transferring to the military. Anyways, we had an argument, I was stating that I’m just only going to UCF to get my AA, but my dad wants me to go to UF. He states this due to the amount of college credits I should have, in which I have enough to become a sophomore in college. However, I only made it to UF PACE, and my father was really upset about that. Either way, I will (hopefully) transfer to UF from UCF at the as soon as I get my AA. But later on, my father tells me on how bad UCF is, and how I shouldn’t go to a “terrible school” to transfer from, and questions why I am getting an AA from a university and transfer over. Then my father criticizes me on my timeliness for turning in my applications last minute, saying that colleges don’t like last minute applications.

My father and I then argued on the cost, in which I just stated I will try to pay for college, but my father said that I can’t handle both a job and college. He argued that as soon as he pays for college, he wants to see EVERYTHING I am doing (from grades and classes, to extra-curriculum) at school. At the end result, I want to transfer to either Northwestern or Chicago for medical school as soon as I get my Bachelor’s as a UF transfer(again hopefully), but my father doubts that I would ever make it there, and calls me the “Joe-blow” for it. He then later recorded me making a promise to make it to IVY league schools, in which would add a lot of pressure onto me, and wants me to hold on to that promise. I really am trying my hardest, and I have fell behind sometimes, but I am planning to try and make it ahead as well, but my father doesn’t see it. My father argued that I will end up on the streets, and I just feel really annoyed as I try to focus my reasoning that I will try harder, but he doesn’t believe so.

What am I going to do? This is too much pressure from my father, and I feel like I should just leave him and go to college without him. At the same time, I also will have to pay a heavy amount of debt when I have to go to med school, especially in the more prestigious colleges. But my father just doubts me ever so much. What do you guys think about this predicament that I’m in. I’m sorry if I’m just being too self-centered about this situation, but I do want your responses as to what I should do, and how I should handle this whole ordeal. Thank you for responding!

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Sorry for your situation! Parents can be so myopic.

My kid has been accepted to UF (fall admit), FSU and UCF. Currently he likes FSU and UCF a bit better, but who knows, that may change after we complete some more visits this weekend. College is what you make of it as a student. There are plenty of people who go to UF and don’t make the most of their time there. (this can happen at ANY school) There are plenty who attend FSU and UCF and make a lot of their time there. It all depends on the individual.

If you want to go to med school you are FAR better off going to a cheaper school than paying for an Ivy. Of course if you’re ivy material with crazy world-class accomplishments and other hooks, I’m not trying to discourage that. But ivies tend to be a bad fit for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. (not the least of which is financial)

My niece went to a small no-name school, got great grades, and had no problems getting into medical school.

BTW my kid is a procrastinator and got his applications in just under the wire. (In the fall, though!)

If you both (Including you) think UF is the be-all and end-all, then do the two years online, or do your time at CC and then transfer. That isn’t how I would go, but everybody is different, and if it suits your goals there’s nothing wrong with it.

The thing is, this is YOUR life, I wouldn’t let your father’s misperceptions guide you too much. As you can probably surmise, he’s going to blame YOU even if you follow HIS plan and it doesn’t work out.

So do what feels right for YOU. You can succeed anywhere!

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I feel for you. Parents can go off the rails some times. Hopefully he’ll cool down and readjust his thinking.

  1. Maybe your dad should call UF and discuss admission like he suggested. I doubt that it would have any bearing on you transferring at a later date if you still desire it. They most likely would say no but perhaps your dad would be appeased after talking to someone in admissions. UF is not easy to get into these days and maybe they would be able to explain how difficult it is these days based on numbers of applicants alone.

  2. UCF is a fine school. If you want medical school the most important thing will be grades. If you like the environment then go.

  3. CC is still an option. Did you apply to USF?

  4. Think about what you really want to major in and where your talents lie.
    That can be anything if you make it into med school but I think majoring in something that will help you in a career if you DON’T make it to med school is more important.
    Is med school your only goal? That can be a long, expensive haul and doesn’t guarantee success (or happiness). If science is your thing there are tons of rewarding careers without going to med school.

  5. Nobody can promise to get into an IVY school and be held to it. So forget it.

    Promises are for things YOU can control. Admissions are up to the school. You can try to work harder (if you haven’t already) or study more or try to get better grades and then put in extra effort. But someone else is going to make the decision for admissions–not you.

  6. Have you crossed off the PACE program totally? IF there is a major you are interested in (and check them out thoroughly), it could still be a pretty good option. You would automatically be a gator and be at UF soon rather than trying to get in as a transfer (and competing for admission there)…

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So sorry for your predicament.
UF can be very difficult to get into because of their “holistic” approach to admissions. I know a few and have read about many students who didn’t get accepted at all and have VERY good grades and extracurriculars. I have also heard that UF will probably not reverse their decision, but if your dad wants to appeal, he can try.
As far as UCF…it definitely IS NOT a terrible school!!! It has a fantastic biomed program and is known for its commitment to STEM. UCF has a lot to offer and shouldn’t be discounted.
I am not trying to dismiss UF, however it is not the “be all end all” school.