My Dad Doesn't Give Us Any Money

Okay, so I’ve been getting pretty nervous hearing that colleges will take financial info from both your parents and not just your custodial. My mom makes less than 55k a year and my parents were together for seven and have been divorced for 10 years. I see my dad once in a while, and he pays a couple thousand a year for child support, but he does indeed make a lot more money than my mom. The problem is that he won’t give us any for college, and I really don’t know what to do about it. I’m hoping for need and merit aid, but how do I explain to colleges that my dad won’t help?? Can I do anything at all?

Some colleges will do this; many (primarily those that only use FAFSA to determine need) will not. However, the colleges that are most generous with need-based aid will almost always ask for financial info. from both parents.

What year are you in high school?

Are you a HS senior? Where are you considering applying to college?

I’m a senior, and my top choices are Smith and American. I’ve gotten into all my safeties already but I haven’t yet filled out the FAFSA obviously.

He DOES give you money if he gives your mom child support. It would be hard for you to argue you have no contact with him because of this as well. CSS profile schools are going to have to have his info I believe.

Stats? State? What does mom have to contribute?

Eek yeah I just meant for college, and I know the child support is going to count against us, but his ‘deal’ is basically that he won’t pay for college but he’ll give child support, not that that means anything to colleges. And he filled out the CSS profile already which makes me so nervous haha.

We’re in NJ, I’m not totally sure what you mean by stats. My mom isn’t quite sure yet about the contributing, she’s still hoping my dad will step up, but it’s not going to happen.

Stats–GPA, ACT or SAT score, class rank?

So these safeties you got into - is any one of them a financial safety? One that you and your mom can pay for with no college money from your dad?

After getting accepted, try scheduling a meeting with the admissions officers or at least a long phone call. Explain you’re really excited and would love to attend, but your situation is making it affordable, so you’ll have to decline. Some might just ignore and say tough luck, but others would be willing to work with you, especially if they really want you at their college.

If your dad earns “a lot more” than your mom, WHY is he only having to pay a couple thousand a year in support?? If there are younger siblings then your mom needs to get that support INCREASED. He should be paying at least $6k per year or more.

It sounds like the parents combined are earning over $125k per year. I doubt that those schools are going to expect a small amount from your parents.

You need to find affordable schools BASED on your stats and how much your mom can pay (which doesn’t sound like much.)

Good news! “New Jersey courts have held that, in general, financially capable parents should contribute to the costs of their children’s higher education.” You may sue your dad for money to go to school.

@4kidsdad I doubt anyone wants that. Is it addressed in the divorce?

Wow, 4kidsdad, is your reference applicable in a nj family situations?
Or just divorce cases?

We thought we were being generous by contributing to our sons college expenses, no idea it was required by my courts!

@MarcoCholo

Too late for that.

This student will find that it’s too late to apply to many schools that offer large merit for stats…unless she’s a NMSF.

Hopefully this student can find afforable choices or she lives in a state with publics that gives generous need-based aid based only on custodial parent’s income.

OP- do you have a good relationship with your dad?

If you do, I think you need to sit down with him and walk him through your college options, your goals and ambitions, and the cost limitations. He may of course say, “live with your mom and go to community college for all I care” so you need to be prepared for that. But most parents really and truly want to help their kids get a college education if they have the resources (not that there’s anything wrong with community college) and your dad may feel differently about helping you financially if you partner with him on the decision-making rather than treating him like an outsider.

You don’t have a strong case for a college which requires financial info from the non-custodial parent if he’s been consistently paying child support. Which means that his assets and earnings will come into play.

Did your mom get a settlement (part of their joint assets) in addition to getting awarded child support??? And if push comes to shove, did you apply to a public U that’s within commuting distance of your mom’s house???

Student says she lives near NYC, but don’t know if she’s a NY resident.


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  1. Cost is definitely an issue, but since my mom makes less than 55k a year and I have two siblings, we're hoping for need aid.
  2. I have a 33 on my ACT and my GPA is a 4.3 weighted so I'm not too worried about not getting in certain places, it's not like I'm interested in going to an ivy haha.
  3. Size I'm looking for about 2.5k and up, geographic region just not rural, at least a big town, and yeah mostly the north east. I just can't picture myself going too far south, I've never been on a plane or anything before.
  4. I'm not sure yet, I like human rights, politics and history but also mathematics.
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^OP:

See https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/21-year-old-sues-parents-for-college-tuition-and-104767331362.html

@attilathebun PSAT score?

With a 33 ACT, (what was math and English subscore?), and high GPA you might have a chance at full tuition at University of Pittsburgh, not guaranteed though. You have to apply by January 15th. They are a FAFSA only school.
If you got the full tuition, the remaining costs for fees and room and board would be about $12,000.

Also Temple offers full tuition (automatic) for 3.8 GPA and 32 ACT. I would apply there as well. Remaining costs should be similar to Pitt.

Did you apply to any NJ schools (or schools in your state) that you can commute to or can receive a significant merit scholarship at and might only require FAFSA? Also instate you might qualify for a NJ TAG (state grant).