<p>Guys, this is getting ridiculous. It's just like all the subjective arguments that go back and forth between various scholars about this issue. In fact, just because this argument keeps coming back to people repeating the same stuff over and over again, I wrote this little parody of it, hopefully to display just how silly it's starting to sound:</p>
<p>Your Fault</p>
<p>To the tune of the same name from Sondheims Into the Woods.</p>
<p>(The scene: A group of affirmative action ADVOCATES are arguing against a group of conservative DETRACTORS about who is at fault for the lack of black advancement. Among them are Shelby STEELE, Henry Louis GATES, Al SHARPTON, John MCWHORTER, Stephan THERNSTROM and Jesse JACKSON)</p>
<p>ADVOCATES (spoken)
Its because you that racism still exists and we need affirmative action!</p>
<p>STEELE
But it isnt our fault,</p>
<p>MCWHORTER
I was brilliant in school</p>
<p>BOTH
And we will not take
Your bellyaching
About school,
How its all too white
And schools hate your race,
Because schools tried to help you in the first place!</p>
<p>JACKSON
Wait a minute,
You think our freedoms were restored?
Youre all Uncle Toms and racial traitors whore adored
By our cracker foes!
True blacks are abhorred</p>
<p>THERNSTROM
Then explain why white men ruled for you in Brown v. Board!
See, its your fault!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
No!
Its the whites fault!</p>
<p>DETRACTORS
No!</p>
<p>ADVOCATES
Yes, it is!</p>
<p>DETRACTORS
********!</p>
<p>STEELE
Its guilt!
Thats the whole point,
And you only get to scream and cry because of
White guilt!</p>
<p>THERNSTROM
So its our fault?!</p>
<p>STEELE
Yes!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
No, it isnt.
We are being kept down!</p>
<p>THERNSTROM
Oh, thats all old news!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
Its all the fault of Asians, Whites and dirty Jews!</p>
<p>STEELE
Jews dont make such noise,
And theyre like our case,
Yet you dont hear this **** from their race!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
Oh, then its our fault!
No!</p>
<p>DETRACTORS
Yes, its your fault!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
No!</p>
<p>DETRACTORS
Yes, this wars all yours!</p>
<p>GATES
Nonsense.</p>
<p>Wait a minute,
Yes, we have culture problems, that may be
But those problems are from society</p>
<p>STEELE
Its all cause of liberal hypocrisy
About our race!</p>
<p>MCWHORTER
Its our race.</p>
<p>THERNSTROM
Yes, thats true.</p>
<p>JACKSON
No, it stems from whiteys schemes!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
From whiteys schemes!</p>
<p>GATES
From whiteys schemes!</p>
<p>ADVOCATES
Lets blame it all on whiteys schemes!</p>
<p>STEELE
No, we shouldnt!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
Yes, we should!</p>
<p>JACKSON
So its your f</p>
<p>THERNSTROM
No, it isnt,
Cause we give you all you like!
So its your f</p>
<p>JACKSON
No, it isnt!</p>
<p>STEELE
So whose is it?</p>
<p>JACKSON
Now youre in it!
What about those folks in that Durham town
Where those rapists from the whiteys school kept black girls down?</p>
<p>THERNSTROM
She was telling lies, any fool can see
That those players names
Were free of blame
They werent guilty!
So its your fault!</p>
<p>JACKSON
But they werent</p>
<p>DETRACTORS
See, its your fault!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
But she wasnt</p>
<p>DETRACTORS
Yes, its your fault!
Its not the whites at all!</p>
<p>ADVOCATES
But</p>
<p>DETRACTORS
What?</p>
<p>SHARPTON
Well, if Jews didnt take our dough away
Theyre like vultures!</p>
<p>MCWHORTER
Its our culture!
Thats all I can say!</p>
<p>JACKSON
There are racists in this country!
That wont go away!</p>
<p>GATES
Cause the problem at this point isnt our race!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
Its Jews, man!</p>
<p>MCWHORTER
Youre all a bunch of demagogues!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
All demagogues?!
That statement leaves me agog!</p>
<p>STEELE
Its true, though.</p>
<p>SHARPTON
No, it isnt!</p>
<p>DETRACTORS
So its your fault!</p>
<p>SHARPTON
Wait a minute!</p>
<p>STEELE
If you werent demagogues</p>
<p>SHARPTON
And you werent racist uncle Toms</p>
<p>SHARPTON and STEELE
We wouldnt have such problems stuck with our race</p>
<p>THERNSTROM
Well, if you didnt ruin things for your race</p>
<p>JACKSON
Its all your fault!</p>
<p>GATES
Well, if you werent racists towards our race</p>
<p>SHARPTON
Right! Youre all just racists towards our race</p>
<p>STEELE
Youre condescending towards our race!</p>
<p>MCWHORTER
Its your fault!</p>
<p>ALL (screaming at each other)
Youre responsible!
Youre the racist here!
Its your fault!</p>
<p>Oh, and by the way: Yes, I realize I contributed to this mess of arguments, but I regret it. It's just like yubi and I agreed: this is just too bloody subjective.</p>