<p>I really do not want to go to a particular college my dad is in love with. I have told him this, and he tells me to just put it on the back burner, we will visit, I might just love it. </p>
<p>I have already been told there is a limit to college visiting that we can do, so, I can only pick 2 directions to go to visit schools. I can also see any schools within reasonable driving distance, which means basically 6 hrs about. If I want to see a few colleges in one area, then that would just count as one. I know my parents are trying, especially my mom. But I feel like my dad does not know me at all and is pushing me in to something that I do not like at all. And I will not get to see schools on my own list, because I am visiting his dream college. </p>
<p>I am afraid now that if I do what he wants, which is apply even though I do not like the school, if I get in, he will demand I go. I am considering throwing the application. Maybe write a really bad essay. I really do not want to go there.</p>
<p>I think you need to remember the most important reason for attending college is to get an education. Ideally, you can find a place that is a good academic match that is also a good social fit.</p>
<p>Your post has limited information so its hard to give advice. Why are you so against the school you dad picked out? Why do you think it is a bad fit? </p>
<p>Anyways, pick out some colleges you like and I would also apply to the school your dad likes. It would be different if you visited the school and didnt like it but I think you should keep an open mind.</p>
<p>I saw your previous post that says you want to stay in the south/want a Christian community. I would look at southern elites (Vanderbilt, Davidson, etc.).</p>
<p>Will your dad agree that if you apply, and give it an honest appraisal, that you can go to your other schools should you be admitted to both?</p>
<p>If you agree to visit Dad’s choice, will he agree to support your visiting the other schools (so you can make that honest appraisal).</p>
<p>If so, agreeing to apply and visit Dad’s choice sounds like a good compromise. (BTW, you may fall in love with his school and decide to go there. Stranger things have happened.)</p>
<p>*My dad and some other people keep telling me that I need to go to a “top school” or maybe even Ivy League. I have some friends who will likely go Ivy League and have siblings there already. But I want to stay in the south, and close to home. My dad insists I will be fine once I am at college and even says he thinks I want to stay close for my boyfriend. This is not true. *</p>
<p>Well, it’s a crapshoot to get accepted to those schools. what are your test scores and GPA?</p>
<p>I wish you hadn’t posted this in two different posts, it makes it confusing.
You need to find out specifically why your father wants you to apply to the schools he is talking about. If it is prestige, then do some research on the most “prestigious” schools that are in the south, AND find some that are a compromise such as the mid-Atlantic.
For any school, do some research into the religious groups on their campus and perhaps email them to find out how they feel about their campus experience. Their are religious groups of all kinds even on the most liberal campuses. And college students have a live-and-let-live attitutude for the most part about religions. Students who are not religious won’t disrespect you for your beliefs.
I’m just saying you may be able to find a compromise school where your dad’s priorities are met as well as yours even if it isn’t a perfect fit in your eyes.</p>
<p>Does your father pay the bills? Is he paying for the application? Has he been feeding you the past 17/18 years? A lot of kids would love to have a father who cared so much about his/her education. </p>
<p>As far as staying south you have Vandy, Wake, Clemson, UNC-Chapel Hill, Duke which are all top notch schools. Apply to those and those your father thinks you should apply to. Then be happy he cares.</p>
<p>I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around someone who wants a Christian community, while at the same time thinking about deliberately throwing an application to the school her father wants her to consider… isn’t that deliberately breaking a commandment or two?</p>
<p>My parents sent me to a Christian school, because my mother is a Christian and wanted me there. My dad is not. The school(s) my dad loves is a very liberal, out of state (far from home), and expensive school. I do not even know if I could get in there.</p>
<p>I attend a top ranked public school now. I am in the top 10% of my class. I take the SAT next month. My PSAT is right on the border and might or might not make me a national merit semifinalist. I was already invited to a “national scholars” day at Texas A&M.</p>
<p>My dad thinks I am “wasting” myself and “throwing away” my talent when I really just want to stay in the south, not too far from home. He went to a top school and thinks I belong there too. </p>
<p>He cannot seem to accept that I am just not him. I don’t want to go to a school where I won’t fit in at all.</p>
<p>To be specific, he wants me at Harvey Mudd. But, I have been out of school today, and last night and today, I have been looking at youtube videos. I cannot see myself at all anywhere near those schools. </p>
<p>He says he does not want me to even consider Baylor or TCU because I will be closing doors on my future and won’t be able to get in to a good grad school.</p>
<p>Wanko…you are right. I am very lucky to have a dad who cares. I see a lot of kids whose parents seem to not care so much. Maybe if I present him with some of the other schools listed here, he will reconsider one of those. Maybe we can find a middle ground.</p>
<p>I forgot, I compete at Fencing, but I am not so great. I never advance. But I do some volunteer work with wheel chair fencing and being a runner at competitions when I am not competing. </p>
<p>And I am not the prettiest girl. I keep getting told that I am very pretty and I am a “natural beauty” but honestly, when I do make up and hair, it never looks like the other girls. My hair goes flat. My makeup looks like I am not even wearing it. I know I sound silly, but I feel like the ugly duckling. I feel like if I go far away, I will be lonely. People will be nice to me. But not only will I not fit in for being conservative, but, guys always want to be my friend, no one asks me out. It feels too lonely to think about going far away.</p>
<p>Baylor and TCU are of different Christian denominations; if you are strongly religious, then you may want to consider whether the denomination of a religious school matches your own.</p>
<p>“KKarma there are no commandments regarding college applications.” </p>
<p>No, but there is something about ‘honor thy mother and thy father’. </p>
<p>(1) Every top school, with the exception of Notre Dame, is going to have a liberal faculty. Academia is, on the whole, anywhere from liberal to very liberal. Duke, Vanderbilt, UNC, etc. are all going to be more left than right. </p>
<p>(2) You can find conservative people at any college. </p>
<p>(3) Exposing yourself to a ‘liberal’ college could actually be good for you - you don’t go to college to have the same information hammered into you; you go to learn new things. </p>
<p>If your father is footing the bill, the least you can do is apply. If you don’t get in, then fine. If you do, then cross that bridge when you get there.</p>
<p>NYU2013, there may be conservatives at every college but there is a huge difference in the vibe at Vanderbilt which has a 50/50 split and a school like NYU which is 90%+ liberal</p>
<p>Also, anytime someone posts they want a conservative school on CC without fail a poster will come on and say you should “broaden your horizons”. However, if someone asks for a liberal school they just list liberal schools – they don’t say go to a conservative school like Notre Dame or Washington and Lee because it “could be good for you”.</p>
<p>W&L doesn’t usually figure as a “conservative” college. Not sure I’d generalize about Vandy, either, based on 50% calling themselves Christian, which may or may not be reflected in their daily lives and social choices. . Baylor, in many respects, can be liberal. My Texan friend, a gal who leads her life by Christian principles, is thrilled at NYU, where she has found a great fellowship organization. I think it could help to get past the surface labels. </p>
<p>You may want to clarify what it is you want. A large Christian community and many religious activities on campus or a quiet campus with less partying and enough kids who share your beliefs to find a variety of friendships? Etc. And don’t forget to look at your academic program.</p>
<p>I’d ask your Dad to come up with a list of 10 schools - that to his knowledge - he would approve of, and he could afford (and you might be able to get into. You as you are, not the 'ideal" you.) I don’t mean to give him all the power here over your life - but it may open the door to some common ground. It’s not reasonable to apply to only 1 school - he’ll have to like others. Give him a chance to work through this. Parents need to work through this too. He may have a dream for you which has died. He may have to grieve a little. Give him some say (just for now) See what he comes up with.</p>
<p>Big difference between ruling out a school because you genuinely beleive that it’s not a good fit for you, and ruling it out because you think you’ll be lonely.</p>