<p>She is at SFSU, and we live 6 hours away. Her roommates are all from Nor Cal and go home on the weekends, as does most of the kids on campus. She says there is “nothing going on”, no school activities or parties–kids basically go to class and leave. She does like her classes and is doing well, it is not the academics–it is the social aspect of the school that she feels is lacking. Luckily there is a mall next to the campus–it is some distraction for her–I suggested that she try to find a job to fill some of her time and she is considering it.</p>
<p>Before she went to SFSU, we heard mixed things about the campus but she was accepted at other schools out of state and decided because of her age to stay closer to home (she is 17) and really thought she wanted to be in SF. Now I can berate myself for not making her go look at other schools, I was happy she wanted to stay closer to home and she had visited twice and like it.</p>
<p>She understands that a CC is not a wise choice at this point and she is probably willing to stick it out but if she is that unhappy I am going to tell her to look at other 4 year options. I am going to have her look at the College Explorations link and I will ask her if she ever filled out the Common App to look at those colleges still accepting apps. I will also tell her to look into Birmingham although she really hasn’t been interested in attending college in the South–it may be a good option.</p>
<p>If you don’t need financial aid, there will be many options. For example, if she likes the idea of staying in the city, look at University of San Francisco. It’s centrally located, so it’s easy to walk to lots of interesting places, and it has a more residential feeling than SF State. I know a student who was unhappy at his first-year college and applied to USF as a transfer applicant in the summer after his freshman year.</p>
<p>She has been texting me all night, she said that her dorm is “eerie” no one around. Yes, if she opts for a private school, she will need financial aid…we have been able to handle a CSU but a private school will not be possible with out some loans, grants etc. I will also have her contact USF just to check it out. </p>
<p>And yes, there is a lot of things to do in San Francisco but she does not have a car and she is not one to venture out a night on her own (which is a good thing). She has never had problems making friends and she gets along great with her roommates but they are all gone for the weekend.</p>
<p>She has been to the gym and mall today, so she is getting out but she is lonely, she told me she did not “expect” college to be like this…and neither did I! I think I would almost rather her be out “partying” than sitting in her room alone!</p>
<p>Is she taking advantage of everything the Resident Life program has to offer? My daughter is at Sonoma state and says there is so much offered for kids who live on campus, but alot of times people don’t come to events for one reason or another. I have no idea if SFSU is the same as far as their programing, but tell her to look into it. Sonoma offers trips to see plays, local attractions, cultural things, etc for a very minimal cost as well as programs several times a month on campus. I’m sure most schools must have a similiar program. That might be a good way for her to get to know people.</p>
<p>SFSU is right next to the M line of the Muni light rail that goes to the downtown area, from which the F line goes along the waterfront. There are also connections to BART stations that go to other places in the region. There are also bus lines like the 28 leading to Golden Gate Park, Exploratorium, and Marina area.</p>
<p>More information at [San</a> Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA, Muni, Sustainable Streets)](<a href=“http://www.sfmuni.com%5DSan”>http://www.sfmuni.com) .</p>
<p>I think there is a lot to do in San Francisco, but I don’t know if that would make up for not being able to hang out with anybody on campus. Personally, I would never go to a commuter school for that reason.</p>
<p>Her chances of getting decent FA as a transfer are very low. Yes, that CSU is mostly a commuter school. It doesn’t have big sports or anything to keep kids on campus on weekends like the more residential CSUs do. That said, nearly all the CSUs have a commuter/suitcase aspect.</p>
<p>Does the school have a Greek system? if so, she should rush.</p>
<p>Do look into BSC…I think it’s a rare school that does give FA to transfers…and the total cost is much lower than a typical public.</p>
<p>Also…look at U New Mexico. They have discounts for OOS transfers with good grades.</p>
<p>I was in a sorority that has a chapter at SFSU, I contacted them to find about her being a legacy but they do not have rush until the fall. My D said they do not have a traditional Greek system, no houses and no row.</p>
<p>If she does leave, it will not be to “any” school because of her ability to apply…she can now say she has been there–done that, but she is going to look at her options and see if they are viable and/or appealing to her.</p>
<p>She will figure things out, it is just hard as a mom to see her so unhappy. I asked her to find “one” new activity this week–go join something or see something–alone or with others and she balked a little bit but has agreed. I explained to her that she needs to make an extra effort–it all up to her to make her experience at college whats she wants it to be and to sit around and sulk about it will just make things worse.</p>
<p>My daughter went to see a play last night at SFSU!! She said her roommate “dragged” her, and besides a little ADHD antsiness episode during the play she actually enjoyed it! I am proud of her that she made an effort to go to a school related activity (besides the gym). She said she also is planning to run a school sponsored 5K later in the month, so maybe my pep talked helped…she is moving in the right direction.</p>
<p>There are so many things in the city college kids do. The campus location is amazing. The school does have a variety of clubs, the student center is filler with offices for a large variety of organizations. </p>
<p>If she isn’t involved it’s because she has chosen not be. </p>
<p>It takes no time to get downtown via muni. Or head to crissy field and sports basement, or city stretto Friday nights at the deyoung</p>
<p>There are sororities on campus who seem to have very nice girls. See them doing volunteer work.</p>
<p>Actually if Op’s d has a good relationship with her GC it is not a bad idea. Students always come back to visit and talk to their GC about things including transfers so it is not a far fetched idea. </p>
<p>In addition, the GC knows what schools she was accepted to last year. S/he could possibly put in a call to one of the regional admissions reps at the school OP’s D turned down regarding the possibility of taking a transfer application since most colleges hold the application for almost 2 years.</p>
<p>The GC could also help D in sorting out what additional information she would need to send. For example: would D would need a teacher from her first term professor or if she can use a senior year teacher.</p>
<p>Really it only takes having one or two people to hang out with to make any situation seem okay. She has just been slow to pull this together.</p>
<p>It may be the shock we all feel at starting over in a new location. Transitions are so hard. Much harder on some people than others.</p>
<p>It may not matter what school she is in. Young adults at this age are only worried about themselves. They don’t see when other kids are in need. They are not being mean. They are just unaware. So yes, she needs to get out there and join, join, join. She will find some kids to be friends with. </p>
<p>The great thing about this is learning how to work through the transition. To realize its okay to be sad and lonely and that it will not last forever. She will find friends and she will be happy.</p>
<p>Hang in there. The more transitions she gets through the easier it will be in her future.</p>
<p>Again, thanks for all the words of advice! The time she is really having problems is on the weekends…the campus clears out. I found out she had a particularly hard time last weekend because Friday was a school holiday so with a 3 day weekend the campus was really empty. She has not always been a “joiner” because she was a highly competitive soccer player—who decided to quit last year–and really didn’t have time for much of anything else. When she did have free time, it was with her close friends. </p>
<p>As we all know, college is a learning experience, she really loved the idea of San Francisco and I don’t really think she has taken advantage of the city as of yet, she is not the type to venture out alone is she can’t find someone to hang with…but I am encouraging her to to just that. So we will just wait and see…</p>
<p>Hi Sockher mom…If she loves soccer than you may just have the perfect solution for her, SFSU has a division 3 soccer team and they are playing spring league right now which is very low key. She should talk to the coach. I have a friend that just graduated from there and the team is a really close knit group and they end up all rooming together. They are always looking for new players. If she doesn’t want that type of committment the club soccer program is really good with a group of girls that often get together. Another way is intramurals for soccer both girls and coed. This is a great way to meet people and they always go out after games. Also try co-ed intramural volleybal or other sports lot’s of fun. Have her look into Habitat for HUmanity which is very active on campus and a great way to meet people. Also on campus church groups.</p>
<p>I don’t know if I would encourage a young girl (an early grad) to go to SF by herself. </p>
<p>I agree with the idea of looking into the Div III soccer there or intramurals. If that doesn’t interest her, then what schools interest her now?</p>
<p>My daughters at 13 were walking and shopping and going to galleries etc in San Francisco. Its very safe and going solo on the ferry to sausalito, or going to a free put door concert alone is no big deal.</p>
<p>Sitting in union square reading a book</p>
<p>There is also a huge huge huge women soccer program in the city not related to the colleges, they play on fields around. Many have college players on them.</p>
<p>This lonesomeness while the campus may empty out is partly her own issues. I know many college kids who ref kids games and make some money. Teams are always looking for assistant coaches. </p>
<p>Again, going downtown is safe. Walk around north beach. Make fun of tourists in fisher mans wharf. Go check out the art museums. Chinatown. I know sfstste has lots of volunteer groups as well.</p>