My Deep Procrastination Story

Pre-College Issues High School Life
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<p>First, to understand Deep Procrastination, read this article:
Study</a> Hacks Blog Archive The Danger of Deep Procrastination</p>

<p>Now, here is a lengthy email I sent to the author of Study Hacks:</p>

<p>First of all, I hope you enjoyed your trip to California. I will be boarding a plane to California at 5AM tomorrow morning.</p>

<p>I need a little bit of advice from you. Read on and I'll explain.</p>

<p>A little bit of backstory:</p>

<p>I'm a high school student in Omaha, NE, about to be a senior. I found your webpage this summer. I know your blog is mostly geared towards college students. However, I've found a lot of the things on it to be very relevant and useful, and can't wait to try them out next year. There is one post which stunned me though, because it is exactly the problem that I am facing. Obviously by the subject of this email, I am talking about the blog post, "The Danger of Deep Procrastination".</p>

<p>Here's more about my situation:</p>

<p>I am basically a successful student, I've gotten all A's except for 1 B+ during all of freshman and sophomore year. I'm also not a bookworm and had an average social life and did extracurriculars that I liked during that time like marching band, a little volunteering and various clubs. I would say I'm a pretty well balanced kid.
First semester junior year went well and was average. I was taking an average courseload (for me) although it was my first time taking AP classes. I got through first semester junior year successfully, with the 4.0 that I was expecting. However, I noticed myself procrastinating and not being able to concentrate more and more as that semester went on, but ignored it because my grades were fine.</p>

<p>Second semester junior year is when it all came crashing down, though. The procrastination that I had ignored earlier grew stronger inside me all winter break...and now it was ready to **** with me big time. The symptoms were just like you described in your post. A previously dedicated and happy student, suddenly losing all interest in their studies.</p>

<p>I could not apply myself at all second semester. It felt like a part of my brain was gone. I felt like I "forgot" how to learn and study. Whereas for as long as I had been going to school, I would procrastinate normally (e.g. play on the computer from when I got home until 5pm/6pm, do homework all Sunday) now I avoided homework until 9, 10, or even midnight, even on Sundays. It felt like I did not care, even though deep down I knew that I did care about my grades. Another thing that added to this problem is that I've been close to getting B's or B+'s so many times before, but always seemed to be able to make it okay in the end (except for once, but oh well) so I assumed that it would be okay in the end again. Also, because of the deep procrastination I would miss out on sleep from doing homework until 1-3am often. Then I would be tired and unable to concentrate the next day, and so on. </p>

<p>I skipped classes because I didn't prepare for the test the night before. I forgot what days tests were and totally screwed them up. But strangely, I never felt worried or that it really mattered that much, again, even though I knew that it did. I just felt like I didn't care. Usually when I got a bad grade on a test, I would get angry, and then turn the anger into energy to use to study harder next time.</p>

<p>When I missed days of school for school trips, being sick, etc., I would tell the teacher I'd make it up later (after the material isn't fresh in my mind anymore, and I have no chance of getting an A on the assignment/test). Before, I would try to make things up as early as I could. At the end of the year I had tons of things to make up. I emailed all my teachers saying what days I would come in and make things up. I usually didn't go in on the days that I said, because I felt like I wasn't ready to. Most got mad at me.</p>

<p>My homeroom teacher made me talk with him after he saw what was going on. I basically convinced him that I had it under control and everything was going to be okay. I should have told him what was really happening, but I was afraid that he would basically say that I had to stop being lazy. I was afraid to talk to my guidance counselor, because I was afraid I would cry in front of her, and in school. I'm a boy.</p>

<p>All this time I'm wandering through basically a mess, because I rarely get more than 5 hours of sleep a night.</p>

<p>Now it's the last 2 weeks of junior year. My report card is a mixture of A's, B's, C's, D's, and F's. I've never seen anything like that. I've made up some of my assignments and tests I've missed, but hastily and without ample preparation. I still have some left. In addition, finals are coming up. I was unable to study at all. I spent almost all of my time playing games, shopping online for stuff I knew I was never going to buy, and going to graduation parties. I understood that this was a very important time and I had to be on top of my game, but I still didn't do much studying or work.</p>

<p>The most striking memory of the "last 2" was Thursday night. Here's some background. I got stuck with the toughest American Literature Honors teacher this semester. Also, I've either not read books, or been reading them on Sparknotes the whole year. The end result is that I currently have a C+ in his class. If I do well on the final, I can bring it up to a B, which is much better. It's 3AM. I am alone at my desk, with an energy drink. There is a study guide up on my computer. We were supposed to fill this study guide out ourselves and study from it. Instead, the one that's open is my friend's. She sent it to me, filled out. I'm trying to memorize the characters and who they were, in what book. I memorize five at a time, and forget them pretty soon. I go on to the next 5 anyways. I also have an internet browser open. I'm surfing the web. My productivity is ridiculously low. I don't feel any sense of impending doom even though my test is the next morning, and I don't understand why. I made a feeble attempt at some meaningful studying. It completely utterly fails. This moment was ominous for me because it felt like the culmination of the entire semester and how it felt for me. I take the final. I got a D. I got a C+ in the class. </p>

<p>Here is my final report card:
American Literature H: C+.
AP US History: B+.
AP Calculus BC: B.
Chemistry H: A.
AP Computer Science AB: A.
AP Psychology: C+.
Marching Band: A.
Jazz Band: A.</p>

<p>I got a 3.5 that semester. I have a 3.9 overall. Next semester, if I get a 4.0, it will be a 3.91.</p>

<p>I'm still 22/471 in my class, which is in the top 5%. I consider that a miracle. I only dropped 4 spots that semester.</p>

<p>It's not over yet though. I was supposed to write two essays that I hadn't written for Psychology, over the weekend after finals, and give them to my teacher on Monday. I didn't write them at all over the weekend. Dammit...but I was also not surprised. I went in on Monday to at least talk to him. He was completely furious, which I understood. He said that I had no chance of making it up again and that I would have to learn to live with that grade. I sent him an email a few days later, which he replied to a few days ago and said that I could write one of the essays and turn it in to him with email, as long as it was before the summer ended. This is just a little bit of mercy, and will raise my grade to a B.</p>

<p>This is where your website comes in. I read the deep procrastination article and many other articles on your webpage a few weeks ago and decided that I understood my situation, and that I was ready to deal with it and solve it.</p>

<p>I meant to finish the paper before I left for California tomorrow. It's 1:17AM. I haven't started yet. The deep procrastination which I thought summer would have warded off...is still just as strong as it was before.</p>

<p>I'm desperate. I don't have any other options anymore. I don't have any attacks left. I don't know what to do. I'm also so scared. I have a 33 ACT and I am likely to be a National Merit Finalist. I know that I can get into a good college. But if I don't fix my deep procrastination problem, I won't even have a chance. I need to study efficiently and purposefully this summer on standardized tests. I need to completely dominate first semester of senior year. I know I have the ability to do that. But, I don't know how to do it. (wow, that makes sense). Help me.</p>

<p>P.S. Here is an analysis of some reasons why I think this happened. I think you should read these closely.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I started looking at colleges. Wow. Stanford. Caltech. Columbia. Such amazing schools. I thought, if I want to get admitted to them, I need to keep getting really great grades...and I can't mess up once. I put added pressure on myself this way.</p></li>
<li><p>My parents blowing the situation out of proportion. My parents have always been really "tight" about my academics. For example, my dad didn't let me help him set up the christmas tree because, "You have to do homework, your schedule is so tight and there is no free time". Since someone that I trusted said this to me repeatedly, even though I knew it wasn't true, my brain still believed it. This put added pressure on me, subconsciously. Also, it made me view my homework in a negative light, as something that was "holding me back" from doing other things.</p></li>
<li><p>I had to lie to my parents. They get angry at me if I don't do my homework in a timely manner. So, I would tell them that I had finished my homework. However, this caused problems because since I had told someone that I had finished my homework, I think my brain believed that the homework was done, so I was even less motivated to do it. Also, I had to "discreetly" do my homework and be stealthy about doing it, which also isn't good.</p></li>
<li><p>This is kind of an extension to Number 1. The reason for me to do well in school changed. While before it was a mix of "because I have nothing better to do", "because my parents won't kill me that way", "because it's actually kind of fun at times", and "because it's satisfying to dominate the **** out of tests", it became "so I can get into a good college", "so I can keep my 3.99 GPA", and "so I can keep my class rank high". Although I had cared about these things earlier, the main reason that I did well in school before was kind of "just because I can". Now I was doing well in school to set me up for admissions to a good college. I think this is a big one...and I shouldn't have looked at colleges so soon, lol.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Thank you for taking the time to read this...I know that you're very busy and taking time out of your day to help one single person is a tall order. But, please help me turn my life back onto the path it was on before, and should be on.</p>

<p>-Alex</p>

<p>If you can help me with this too, please PM me any suggestions or post them below. Otherwise, discuss.</p>

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<p>:[</p>

<p>Wow. A lot of parts of your story really hit home for me. I don’t know how I can help you, because I’m struggling with the same problem, but to the best of my knowledge, you kind of just have to do it. Also, every procrastinator’s downfall: Never, ever think, I have to <em>__. Think, I choose to / I am going to </em>.</p>

<p>You seem like a smart guy. You know everything you need to do. So… what are you waiting for?</p>

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<p>you could take the route of thinking of people on the other side of the story. Those who are up at all hours of the night, struggling to learn who actually want to learn.</p>

<p>place an emphasis on understanding something rather than getting it done. You’re a talented kid who should obviously keep up the good work because your struggles are ideal grades for a large portion of your graduating class and students as a whole.</p>

<p>all in all, i’d recommend putting your studies/social life into proportion. don’t take this the wrong way, but stop looking for excuses, they get you nowhere. you have the talent and ability so just do it, simply put. </p>

<p>One very good thing is that you realized this now, and not in college when your free time is more than ample. think about the type of trap you could fall into while at a university. Not only could you be wasting your’s/your parent’s money on a wasted/failed education but you could be hurting yourself in the long run.</p>

<p>think of those who wish they had the intelligence of somebody like you, and think of how envious they are of you…the guy who is ranked in the top five percent while apparently having the semester from hell who can still overcome the problem with effort. It’s up to you my man, make the best of your situation/abilities because it could ALWAYS be worse.</p>

<p>hope it helps,</p>

<p>(i’m an RA so i’ve been familiar with some incoming freshman having trouble dealing with a new schedule/procrastinating and not being able to breeze by as easily as before).</p>

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<p>Sounds like you burnt yourself out early on. Don’t take on more than you can handle, give yourself a break. Do the best you can do, because that’s all you can do, but don’t kill yourself!</p>

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<p>i totally know wat ur going through…something similar happened to me idk y, either its just so confusing…
ive always been an A, A+ student…and then come junior yr i got straight Bs…with one A but my procrastination or w/e it started first semester…and i know i couldve done better but idk wat happened
and yeah i still dont feel like studying…i should be studying for the SAT but before like u said it wasnt that big and i kinda enjoyed it and like like being smart and beating everyone now idk wat happened O.o
but i guess we just have to just concentrate somehow and keep going and do well because good college! lol and its fun remember how fun it was? lol i think thats my motivation now …
but yes i went through the same thing as you kinda but mines worse since it started first semester ofjunior yr and that totally screwed up my gpa horribly its disgusting!!! i hate it b/c i know i couldve done WAY better but i cant do anything now, made the wrong decisions…=/</p>

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<p>thanks for all the help and info guys. i see that Many of you are experiencing the same thing, so maybe we could figure something out together. if you overcame this problem I think we’d like to see how so if you could provide some insight thanks.</p>

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<p>man this hits home for me also. Lets get through this buddy.</p>

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<p>Whoa, you described me easily. I agree with the others in that you got too concerned with colleges, and put pressure on yourself for all the wrong reasons. I procrastinate as badly as you do, i.e. not starting assignments until 3am the night before due date. I’m not even exaggerating.</p>

<p>I, uh, haven’t overcame this problem. I think, though, that you still have a good chance for colleges. I mean, the damage can’t have been that bad since you’re still in the top 5%.</p>

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<p>yeah…I’m kind of anxious to figure out how to fix myself since next semester is college admissions hell. I’ve tried to motivate myself all last semester so I know motivation doesn’t work. most of my friends are pretty good at procrastination too so they won’t be able to help me I think. forcing myself to work doesnt work either so if you have any ideas post them here and we will try them</p>

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<p>You burnt yourself out plain and simple. there’s a reason why most schools only recommend two APs during the same year</p>

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<p>Use the force, Alex…
I’m sorry. I HAD to :$</p>

<p>Haha, I’m kind of in the same boat!
In Canada you can mess around all throughout HS, because grade 12 is what universities look at.
So basically, I haven’t done that great all through HS, (I was on the honour roll, but my average was like 85%)
And next year I need a 90% average to get into the school I want =)
I procrastinate ALOT, and I actually do well… but I’m concerned that next year it wont work. Plus I have to get out of that habit anyways.</p>

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<p>You are pretty lucky- i have the same problem b/c I made two b’s and my gpa dropped 9 possibly to about 20%- i don’t want to find out)
I guess a good tip is to really want it.
I really wany everything to go well for me next year so I have to make it happen- maybe you can look at community colleges to scare the fear into yourself. Good luck- i have the same problem.</p>

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<p>Thanks for posting this. I’m on a downward spiral like you were, and hopefully, this post will be potent enough to pull me out of it. ty again.</p>

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<p>I’m just going to say that you should consider yourself extremely lucky about your class rank. At my school, top 10% weighted starts around 4.4 and top 10% unweighted cuts into the huge mob of 4.0 kids. I would kill to have my 4.27 put me anywhere near the top 5%.</p>

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<p>Regardless of your purely touching story, I believe I feel no sympathy within myself whatsoever.</p>

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<p>^ My goodness, sir/madame. Please have some common English courtesy and use the art of forming paragraphs.</p>

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<p>I was in a similar situation as you, so I know where you’re coming from. I know it’s so difficult to get over because the deep procrastination becomes a habit, but it is possible to do so- I did. (I’ll just address anyone who has this problem with this)</p>

<p>The way I got over my deep procrastination problem was to just hate myself for it, and while I’m not saying you should beat yourself up, you should definitely feel the responsibility of your laziness. I personally hated the feeling of teachers nagging me and getting angry at me for late work, so after the year was over and I recharged over the summer, I vowed never to let myself do that again.</p>

<p>You should also keep looking for inspiring things to motivate you. It may not work at first, but it does in the long run if you just keep them in your head. For example, deep procrastination and heavy computer use coupled with a lack of sleep really took its toll on my critical thinking skills, and I felt the stupidest out of anyone in my class. I took that as inspiration to work hard, as well as the teachers I have- I respect them all, and I would hate for them to develop a poor opinion of me. It just ruins your entire year when your teacher hates you (and if you forget your homework at home or something, they’ll be less likely to give you some leeway). Another source of inspiration for me is just any amazing people I’ve come across or heard about that have achieved great things through hard work. A current example: Kim Yuna. She’s only 19 and she’s a world champion Olympic skater who also set a new world record. You can only get that way through hard work. And while not everyone’s a great skater, everyone’s good at something, and only you really know what you’re capable of. If you know you can do it, why let it go to waste? To spend miserable hours on the computer beating yourself up the entire time? Just think of what you can do, and don’t let anything get in your way.</p>

<p>Personally, I didn’t get over my deep procrastination problem until the next school year, after I had had time to recharge over the summer and make up all my hours and hours of sleep debt and find out that I wasn’t as stupid as I felt due to lack of sleep. And it felt good. Also, something I found was that the more you procrastinate and push the limits of how much you waste time, the easier and easier it gets to do it. So my advice to you is this: if you have this problem, keep trying to get over it, but take advantage of summer to get over your problem. Go to a summer camp where you won’t be allowed to use the computer except maybe a few times, so when you come home, you won’t feel a nagging need to use the computer. You’ll probably start using it a lot more, but don’t let yourself build up your amount of computer use to a point where you allow yourself to waste tons and tons of time. The less you do it, the easier it is to break away. Also, keep looking for inspiration- don’t let your talent or brains go to waste. Work hard.</p>

<p>And I know it’s not summer for a few months, but you still have time to turn things around. Really- do everything. Force your parents to take away your computer, do all your work by hand (except for essays), etc. Even if it doesn’t work at first, don’t stop trying. At least you’ll be signaling to yourself that you want to change the way things are, and that’s a good enough first step. Also, two concrete pieces of advice:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Never be vague about what you’re going to do. Don’t say “Um, I’m going to study over the weekend.” Say, “On Friday I’m going to ask a friend about the class notes I missed and I’m going to start quizzing myself on the material. Saturday, after I come back from orchestra, I’m going to sit down in my living room and quiz myself on the material for three hours. Sunday, I’m going to finish quizzing myself, do the review problems, and write an outline for the essay questions.” That way, you’ll be filled with less dread about the heinous idea of “studying.” Wt.f is that word anyway? It’s so vague and it means nothing. Be specific.</p></li>
<li><p>In the same vein as #1, you should set a schedule for long-term assignments, especially if you have a lot of them in a short period of time. That way you’ll know exactly when to do them and there’s a better chance you’ll get stuff done and won’t be crying on top of your books at 3:30 am on Sunday with three tests to study for and an essay to write.
Here’s an example (this is mine):</p></li>
</ol>

<p>History Test<a href=“mon”>/u</a>
Thursday: clean up history notes, find questions to ask
Friday: finish compiling all missing history info
Saturday: quiz-and-recall, 3 hours
Sunday: quiz-and-recall, 4 hours; write history essays</p>

<p>Math Test<a href=“mon”>/u</a>
Friday: do polar equations problems- basics
Saturday: do problems for rotation and everything else
Sunday: review all math and do some extra problems for good measure</p>

<p>Physics test<a href=“wed”>/u</a>
Friday: finish up ch. 17 notes
Saturday: quiz-and-recall, 30 min. to 1 hour
Sunday: quiz-and-recall, 2 hours
see review page at the end of the chapter, look at worksheets
come prepared with questions to ask monday
Monday: redo ALL worksheets, study the chapter again AND read the powerpoint for any other information
Tuesday: reread the chapter and powerpoint, look over notes, do quick quiz-and-recall, look over worksheets, ask dad to quiz me</p>

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<p>^^ sorry, I had to edit something but it was over the 20 min limit so I deleted it and reposted it under your post.
And um… I’m sorry? I was trying to help…? Plus, my goodness, they are in paragraphs, sir/madame… I guess I should put spaces between the paragraphs to make you happy</p>

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<p>^ I believe you have deleted your previous conversation with the originator of the ‘thread’. In addition, I believe what I saw to be a block of text covering almost the entire length of my beloved monitor. Therefore, at least on my side, the argument stood quite intact.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, my thanks are given to you for your attempts at helping the originator despite the fact that you have ejected your original opinion.</p>

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<p>Just another tip: if you know you’re going to waste your time anyway, try to find some actual useful sites to go on. I usually go on websudoku.com because doing sudoku keeps your mind elastic and it’s pretty fun, so even if I’m not getting anything done, I’m still helping my mind stay in shape.</p>