My Essay

I’m not very good with writing so bear with me.

Respond to the following:
Describe the personal experience that gave you the feeling of greatest achievement or satisfaction because of the challenges you met.

<pre><code>Moving overseas was my toughest challenge I have ever faced. I had just finished my seventh grade year, and suddenly I had to move to Italy. I didn’t want to move to a country that didn’t speak English. I had great friends in Virginia and the thought of losing them made me detest moving. I got on the airplane and flew to Italy. The airplane trip was cool, but I was still brooding. When my family and I arrived, someone drove us to the military base and I was in shock. The base was so cramped. I could walk from the church to the PX/Commissary (Army department store) to my school. It wasn’t just the base that was cramped though. The whole city seemed cramped. It felt like I had no elbow space. Everyone drove small cars and the roads were really small and slippery. Everyone spoke a language I didn’t understand. I received a huge culture shock. The worst part was that I would have to live here for three long years.
School came upon me and I received another shock. The high school had a total of about 200 students. I made new friends and we hung out, but I still missed my old friends. I wanted my new friends to be just like my old friends. Everything was so different. Classes were easier, but required a lot more work. The cafeteria food was different. The second food choice that was offered everyday was pasta instead of hamburgers. The vice principal was meaner and everyone knew everyone. It was a lot to take in as an eighth grader.
Life went on and I started settling in. I started to enjoy my new home instead of hating it. I gazed upon the mighty Rome Coliseum and held back the Leaning Tower of Pisa from falling with all my might in a picture. I rode a gondola in the maze-like canals of Venice and gazed inside beautiful cathedrals which were hundreds of years old. I traveled far and wide across Europe to France to see the Eiffel Tower.
The three year long adventure was really enjoyable. Moving here taught me a lot of lessons and it gave me memories that I can cherish for the rest my life. The best memory I have of Italy is actually not based on sight but on taste. Their pasta is really good, but their pizza killed my taste buds. American pizza now just doesn’t compare to Italian pizza.
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<p>"I didn't want to move to a country that didn't speak English." Perhaps a small point, but countries don't speak, people do. I would change the phrasing.</p>

<p>but I was still brooding.
I was in shock
^^ can be made better</p>

<p>The base was so cramped. I could walk from the church to the PX/Commissary (Army department store) to my school. == one sentence.</p>

<p>It wasn’t just the base that was cramped though. The whole city seemed cramped. It felt like I had no elbow space. Everyone drove small cars and the roads were really small and slippery.</p>

<p>^^ getting a bit repetitive here, you can cut out some. </p>

<p>I received a huge culture shock. <<once again a little awkward you can improve it
School came upon me and I received another shock. <......</p>

<p>Everything was so different. Classes were easier, but required a lot more work. The cafeteria food was different. The second food choice that was offered everyday was pasta instead of hamburgers. The vice principal was meaner and everyone knew everyone. It was a lot to take in as an eighth grader. <<details. details. please.</p>

<p>held back the Leaning Tower of Pisa from falling with all my might in a picture<<< I like this...but you can improve it. I like this though.</p>

<p>gazed upon the mighty Rome Coliseum and held back the Leaning Tower of Pisa from falling with all my might in a picture. I rode a gondola in the maze-like canals of Venice and gazed inside beautiful cathedrals which were hundreds of years old. I traveled far and wide across Europe to France to see the Eiffel Tower.<<<These are descriptive. Me like.</p>

<p>Ty very much. I have so much trouble in writing.</p>

<p>NP. Just look at what I've pointed out. Read to yourself and think "How can I make this sound better?" You just have to look for these things and you'll get better.</p>