My first Essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>So I'm a sophmore trying to get a head start on the SAT. I have the Princeston Review (PR) 2011 edition with me and I skiped to the Essay portion because I love writing. So I'm following the rules of the PR and trying to write a good essay. This is my first SAT essay and I timed myself, I typed it and it was diffult to come up with the ideas, so I lied for the second example. So here it is, Give me an educated score.....</p>

<p>Question: Can the daily actions of average people have a significant impact on the course of history?</p>

<pre><code> People’s everyday actions can had an impact on the course of history. What people do can changed and shift history. We can clearly see this with the Montgomery boycott and in my high school where students went on strike.

When Rosa Parks was put jail for not giving up her seat for a white man many African Americans teamed up to boycott the bus stations until it becomes equal to all. Everyday instead of taking the bus to work they would walk or car pool with fellow African Americans. Doing this made the bus companies lose a lot of money and because of that they abolished segregation in the bus system. The actions of normal African Americans made bus system become equal to all which was an impact in history that lead to equal rights.

In the year of 2010 the board members of my district decided on having the students wear uniform. Many on the students did not like this idea because they thought it impeded their creativity expression through clothes. After two years of this rule students suddenly decided on their own not to wear uniform. After a month administrators started to see that a growing number a students were not wearing their uniform. It turned out that about 2/3 of the school were not. It was large enough of a number for the board members to abolish the uniform policy in the school. Students deciding not to wear uniform to school changed history.

What people do can have an impact in history? One can choose not to ride the bus like African Americans during the boycott and they changed the history of equal rights in the bus system or one can choose not to wear uniform to school and change the history on required uniform. People’s everyday actions has the power to make a change.

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<p>P.S- I'm reading the question now and IDK if I answered it right and my sentences are a little off so tell me what's wrong, what need to be fixed. Thanks</p>

2

<p>It’s a good essay, especially for the fact that this is your first one. If I were the teacher, I would give a 7-8 from 12 because it is very brief, needs more coherency and logical flow.
Best of Luck!</p>

<p>P.S
It also has grammatical errors like

It should be

</p>

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<p>Thanky you soo much. On PR they told me to only give 2 examples making for 4 paragraphs. Did you do that for your essay on the SAT?? What would you reccomend?? :)</p>

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<p>I am not sure. I got 9’s from 12 on my previous exams. In first time, I used 3 examples, and in the second one, I used 2 but big examples. Anyway, you may use this:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>It’s is very useful and it helped many people to overcome problems with essay.
Good Luck with your impressive studies!</p>