<p>Hi...</p>
<p>So I have less than a week to go for our visit and my first interview. Any btdt advice? Thx :)</p>
<p>I have to say I just let them lead the discussion and I treated as if I were meeting a new person. I was 100% myself. I figured if they don’t like who you truly are then maybe it is not the correct school. I did, however, think up 3-4 questions to ask because I assumed (correctly) they would ask if I had any. I asked things like how the kids get extra help if needed, whether sports teams were open tryouts, whether freshman ever make varsity… etc… GOOD LUCK!!</p>
<p>Meeting someone new is a great approach. The AOs really do want to know who you are. Think about why your child is interested in that school, and if s/he is applying for boarding how that will work for your child. Have some school specific questions that are not easily found on the website - even if it is very broad, i.e. what are weekends like at school x, what are sports requirements.</p>
<p>We never understood we were going to be interviewed or were being interviewed. We had no clue that the casual followup chit-chat was any more than chit-chat and only found out once I came here that those simple conversations were somehow part of the process.</p>
<p>So, just be yourself. If you have actual questions that you need answers to, ask them, but don’t try to come up with something. I don’t recall asking any. Remember, they are only trying to decide if the BS decision is mainly student- or parent-driven and whether or not the parents are going to be troublesome. So, try not to be troublesome.</p>
<p>Thanks to you all for your advice! My plan is to be myself and ask any questions that I still had after the tour. It’s exciting to actually be at this point of the process when just a year ago it was a mere thought.</p>
<p>Not a question for everyone but you can always ask: Are there opportunities for boarding parents to be helpful or involved in the community? </p>
<p>Typically, they’ll answer by telling you about the school gala or benefit, but it’s always possible they’ll share something unique about the school that may interest you. </p>
<p>You’ll be fine and by the time you interview at the last school you might even find that you’re having fun! </p>
<p>All the best and good luck!!</p>
<p>Our parent interviews were all really low-key and comfortable-- and really seemed more like the school was giving parents the opportunity to ask questions, and giving the school a chance to sell themselves a little. I’m sure they were making sure they weren’t getting obnoxious parents, but it never felt like we were being judged or that anything we did or didn’t say would influence their decision (understanding, of course, that they wouldn’t want parents that were obnoxious or too controlling). Just go with whatever questions you have, think about any questions you might have after the tour, and think about any questions you have about how your child might fit in or have his/her needs met. It really is a chance to figure out if YOU like THEM.</p>
<p>I felt like the interviews we had were all over the map in terms of how they were structured (which I suspect has more to do with the particular AO than with the school). The one I liked the least had very little to say for himself and really no questions of us, he just gave us opportunities to ask questions about the school. I felt like I ran out of questions too soon and it was awkward. In the one I liked the most, the AO gave me a pretty detailed run down of the interview she’d just had with our son, gave us her impressions of him based on that interview, and then asked us for our views on whether she was getting his personality and strengths right. All the rest were somewhere in between – some questions to us, some time for us to ask questions. The interviews that I felt the best about where the ones where we managed to say something about how our son’s interests or strengths would particularly fit in well with that school – at least then I felt like maybe I was contributing something relevant for the AOs consideration.</p>
<p>Hopefully what happened to me at a “Big” school interview will make all parents interviewing this fall/winter feel better: True story.</p>
<p>So, on the morning of the interview there was snow on the ground but the forecast didn’t mention anything but a possible “flurry”. I picked out a great outfit and thought about practical shoes, but went with a nicer pair even though this little voice in my head kept saying You’re Making a Big Mistake…over and over. Well, I ignored that voice and off we went to our interview. </p>
<p>When we finally arrived there was wet snow falling and the plowed walkways and road were starting to get slick. I know, I know! At that moment I was wondering why I didn’t bring my practical shoes in the car, too!! </p>
<p>We signed in and were greeted by our student guide and off we went on our tour. I didn’t just slip and fall once- I went down three times. Thankfully, I was with K2 who has a great sense of humor, but believe me when I say: I was horrified.</p>
<p>Our student guide was wonderful and very kind. After our tour my son was brought in for his interview and I tried to collect myself. Thirty minutes later it was my turn.</p>
<p>Five minutes into my interview, the AO says, Mrs. PhotographerMom- Would you like to go to the infirmary? I thought he said, Would you like to see the infirmary? Before I could answer he said, You’re bleeding. I looked down and sure enough my wrist was sliced open and kind of gushing at this point. Acute embarrassment? Doesn’t even come close. So, off we went to get bandaged up.</p>
<p>You would think the interview would have ended here, but it didn’t!! No! We went back to his office and finished the parent interview! Afterward, he walked me to the reception area where K2 was seated and our tour guide came over to say good-bye again, which I thought was very nice. They both walked us to the door and we drove home.</p>
<p>K2 kept me laughing the whole ride home- even though I felt like I completely blew his chances. One thing he said was: Well, Mom… good or bad it’s going to be hard to forget us. Indeed. Last summer we ran into this AO while on vacation… and yes, he remembered us. We shared a good laugh… even though years later I still turn red at the thought of it.</p>
<p>You’re probably wondering if he applied and was accepted. He did apply and was accepted, but chose another school.</p>
<p>If you’re new going into this and you’re nervous… think of me. Hopefully it will make you feel better! Nothing this bad will ever happen to you!!</p>
<p>^^ That’s amazing. How politely they asked if they could help you stop bleeding all over the admissions office!</p>
<p>We thanked the teacher/AO for dedicating their lives to the kids. Educators and school staff do, and they should be appreciated. </p>
<p>Otherwise I guess they just checked that we were supportive of boarding school, and seemed relatively normal :-)</p>
<p>Oh photogmom…thank you for sharing. I can see this happening to me…I’m kind of a klutz…my entire family is…I blame my dad and tell him his side has the klutz gene which I inherited. I’m glad you were ok…the AO and the student both sound delightful. I’m thankful there is no snow in the forecast for Monday! :)</p>
<p>For us, at most places, the parent portion was brief, 5-15 minutes. The AO went over some of the things they talked about during the interview. This was the time to make it into a conversation mentioning any special/important detail, if any, your child may have left out. Next, they asked if we had any questions. If not, the meeting was done. So perhaps it’s a good idea to ask a question if the meeting was brief.
We asked about campus safety and every AO said it’s very safe. I asked about swim or sink environment. An Andover AO said that they no longer have such a culture (50 years ago maybe) but the student needs to be willing to meet in the middle. They can only help the ones who are willing to accept help.
The question I was not prepared to answer was ‘Will you be okay sending him so far away?’ I still don’t know how to answer the question. Yes, I’m even now ready to ship him out to college. No, I’m not ready, I’ll get a condo right by and be hovering around till he turns fifty. Neither sounds proper, though both are my everyday sentiments.
At one place, as bidding good bye, the AO said smiling to my child, you did well and your mom did well too! That was funny. We must have looked nervous.</p>
<p>Thankfully all the blood was contained in the large cuff of my white blouse and not all over the admissions office! The AO saw the blood when I raised my arm to put my hair behind my ear. I have the klutz gene, too!! From that point on I wore Frye boots!!</p>
<p>You’ll have beautiful weather on Monday! 
Fingers crossed!!</p>
<p>Wearing comfortable broken-in shoes is a must. Even without snow, most campus tours involved long walks on rocky or uneven brick paths.
At one tour with another family of a girl, I noticed back of her ankle turning raw. Being a mom of boys, I had large bandages (2"x3") in my purse and offered them to her mom. The girl had ballet flats but they must have been new. Later she just walked barefoot indoors. The flats must have been killing her.</p>
<p>Be aware that the parent interview is also the school’s opportunity to sniff out annoying helicopter parents</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for your responses. I’m excited and so is my daughter. I will post back after Monday to let you all know how it went. I’m sure it’s way easier than I’m anticipating</p>
<p>PhotographerMom, if it helps at all I still remember the time when I was a student tour guide in boarding school and I wiped out walking down an icy path. </p>
<p>payn4ward, my answer to that question is that this is not a decision about what I need, it’s a decision about what friendlykid needs.</p>
<p>Friendlymom, it definitely helps to know I’m not alone! I will never sacrifice my dignity for fashion again!!</p>
<p>The school was lovely and I did write notes to the AO and tour guide thanking them for their care and concern. The nurse (We haven’t lost a parent yet!) was wonderful, too. I was just surpised we continued the parent interview- after all, we had talked the entire time to and from the infirmary. When he invited me to sit down in his office again- all I could think was, Oh, merciful God, I’ve got nothing left! Please let me go home so I can wallow in self-pity… :)</p>
<p>NYCMomof3: Again- all the best and good luck! I’ve been to a lot of schools and it’s very interesting and fun- you’ll enjoy it!</p>
<p>Ah, yes. The broken-in shoes are a must. Last January we visited a school and I wore slippers to drive there, and brought my ‘nice shoes’ in the back of the car. We arrived exactly on time, no easy place to park, so D ran ahead and I parked and followed in. We waited in reception for a few minutes with another (very proper and refined) family, then D and I were taken by student guides to sit in on 2 separate classes – and when I reached down to get a notepad from my bag, I was mortified to see that I was still wearing my slippers. D and I also toured separately (I was able to run to the car and change shoes at the end of the class), and I related the story to her on the way home. Luckily, she has a sense of humor too… especially since the school was her first choice (yes, she’s there now! ). My family still refers to it as “the fuzzy blue slipper incident”.
PhotoMom: There is simply no topping your story! I laughed myself into tears while reading.</p>
<p>Cameo: on the other hand, that is one way to be remembered by the AO!
:-)</p>