My first semester experiences...

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Maryland - College Park
1

<p>Now I am not trying to discourage anyone from coming here, just maybe give a little insight. I know it has only been a month and a half that I have been here, but I have already filled out my applications to transfer out.. and this is what I have taken from my time here so far:</p>

<p>I come from a small suburban community in Boston. There are not many people from New England here, and while my initial reason for coming here was to branch out and meet new people from other places I realized that there's more to it than that. Everyone here is from Maryland, New York, or New Jersey. Not to be stereotypical, but I can't really identify with people from these areas. I don't get the sense of friendliness and outgoingness that I do from people back at home.. I think it may be b/c I have lived in the Boston area my whole life that it is a hard adjustment. But if you are not from one of these areas, keep in mind that you may feel the same way I do. It gets very lonely. My suggestion is if you are coming from a state other than MD NJ NY, make sure you have others that you know and are friends with coming here as well. I came not knowing anyone and I feel very alone sometimes, because I don't connect with a lot of people here; or more so, the people here chose not to connect with the people that aren't from their group of friends in high school. </p>

<p>And dont get me wrong- I am a VERY social person, I love to go out, party, meet new people.</p>

<p>Which brings me to my next point; the social scene
-The bars here are minimal. I find them to be very packed and a somewhat "trashy".. being a female, I find the guys at the bars to be disrespectful and sleezy. But, that being said, I am sure it is not just a Maryland thing but goes on all sorts of places. Like I said, I could probably identify myself with the term "party girl" but I hate the party scene here.
-FRATS: Ugh. Again, not to be stereotypical, but the fraternities here are classified as "guido meatheads." Nothing against the Jersey Shore, but if you are from there then you will definitely identify with the frat life, most of them come from that area but they wear their stereotype on their sleeves. (I don't want to come off close minded in any of my statements- it is just a huge change from me. On the contrary I know that Bostonians are typically associated with the term "m***holes" and in a sense it may be true, but man do I miss them..) If you are into guys that have no care for you as a person and will very blatantly obvious try to get you inhiliated, while being the epitome of a meathead, you will love it. AGAIN: I am sure this isn't just prevelant in Maryland but most colleges with Greek life..
-THAT ALL BEING SAID: All there is here is frat parties and bars. If you like house parties, and get togethers with close friends, you may scarcely find them unless you know the right people.. I have yet to experience it, and it is my personal preference. </p>

<p>The People:
For the most part, are not very friendly or open. I am really outgoing, and find myself trying to talk to people all the time. A majority of the people here, simply put, don't care and don't put an effort back. I thought the point of college was to meet people, not shelter yourself. If you're from Maryland, you probably already have a group of close friends here. Or even the other states I mentioned previously. If you aren't, I wish you the best and hope that I just got really unlucky and things will work out for other out of staters...</p>

<p>The Food:
GETS VERY OLD. There is little variety. I'm a very healthy eater: I like whole grains, fruit varieties, etc. The salad bar is the same thing every day. If you like fruit, I hope you like honey dew melons cause that is all you're getting. Maybe the occasional fruit. If you like whole grains on your wrap, like the deli menu so promisingly lists, they don't have it. If you like food besides subs, pizza, burgers, and fried chicken, they have the OCCASIONAL choices at some of the stands that may suit you. I find myself eating salad every day. I am very sick of it.</p>

<p>The professors:
-THAT I HAVE (not generalizing), don't care about you. Some TA's may try to be helpful... go to their office hours if you have questions. Teachers are very impersonal. I didn't think it would be an issue, but it is. </p>

<p>Again: this isn't to discourage anyone. The school has a great rep. BUT; it isn't for everyone. You really need to think hard before you commit to a school, do your research and make sure it fits your needs. This goes for any school. If you have doubts, reconsider. Literally, even the tiniest doubts. I LOVED the campus when I visited in the summer, but there was that TINY TINY feeling of doubt in the back of my head, it wasn't significant enough to impact my decision but it was there. I now realize that I should have given that tiny bit of doubt more consideration and not jumped into a decision.</p>

<p>Best of luck to everyone! And I hope that I didn't discourage anyone but rather helped put some things in perspective for certain people that may have had some concerns about the things I mentioned. Everyones opinions differ, too, remember that. There are plenty of people who love it here. I am not one of them and hopefully will find my fit somewhere I love in the future.</p>

2

<p>summer, I’m sorry to hear that you’re unhappy and that you’ve given up after a month and a half. I wish you the best of luck in finding the right fit elsewhere. You are correct that most students come from those three states but I doubt that most OOS students arrive on campus with friends from home. My DS, who is an OOS student, is not a guido meathead from the Jersey Shore and yet he has been able to make good friends at UMd. In fact, one of his closest friends is from the Boston area and DS visited him there this past summer. </p>

<p>I suspect that as a self-professed party girl you are overlooking many other social outlets and avenues to making friends. Have you attended events in your particular college or for those in your intended major? Have you joined a community service organization? An intramural sport? Signed up as an usher for theatrical productions? Attended religious services? There are so many ways to meet people at any university, not just at UMd. Before you label an entire campus of that size, spend some time in self-reflection, asking yourself what you have to offer others, where to find people with similar interests, and how to get a stronger start at the school to which you’re transferring.</p>

3

<p>I understand what you’re saying. However I am actually a member of 4 different student/community service organizations… It’s not a bad experience, but thus far there hasn’t been much interaction between group members in any of them (mainly upper/lower class…) It’s not that I haven’t been trying to make the best out of my time here, like I said I am very outgoing. I think I just I need a smaller, more personable school. Again, it may just be my luck, but from my experience no one has really cared to get to know me on a sense besides having someone to go out with on the weekends.</p>

4

<p>Oh wow sorry to hear all of this, sounds like your almost miserable. Do you plan to transfer soon?</p>

5

<p>Summer - This is an interesting post, thank you for your perspective and good luck with your transfer. I’m sure many will probably disagree with you but that is the exact reason my S refused to ever consider UMD, and we are in-state. Everyone he knows that did end up there is rooming with a friend from high school and mostly still hang out with the same crowd. He wanted the “full college experience”, not just an extension of 12th grade. Perhaps for some kids, that is what they are comforatable with. </p>

<p>Good luck in finding the right fit - there are so many great schools out there I’m sure you will find one that makes you happy.</p>

6

<p>In terms of the party scene–there haven’t been any really fun parties thrown in your dorm? I really dislike the bar/frat scene too, and so we just partied in our dorm rooms freshman/sophomore year until people got houses/apartments.</p>

<p>Yeah, at a big school like Maryland, there is an element of luck to your experience. Who lives on your floor, what kinds of people are in the groups you want to be in. On my floor, almost nobody knew each other, so there were no real high school cliques.</p>

<p>I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t liked your experience at Maryland; I hope you find a school that fits you better.</p>

7

<p>I certainly agree with those that wish you well and hope your story hasn’t seriously affected your college experience. I remember a similar thread a year or so ago that was equally compelling. Any school is going to seriously disappoint some of its students, howerver.</p>

<p>Our S loves UMCP. He is instate but rarely affiliates with kids he knew from HS. His best friends are from all over, including a number of foreign countries. His experience is, undoubtedly, different than yours and he clearly benifited from small honors seminars and involvement in a select honors program his freshman year. Nevertheless, I think he would agree with some of your assessment. It’s just that he’s had some really great opportunities and experiences that have resulted in a feeling of satisfaction with his choice, notwithstanding, some of the large institutional and impersonal aspects.</p>

<p>Good luck with your transfer and thanks for sharing your experience.</p>

8

<p>I agree with everyone, as an ex-patriot of NJ (21 yrs ago), UMD was always a draw for NJ. I will say I agree with everything Max stated.</p>

<p>I recall the same thread, I believe we are both speaking of Bruins. UMD can be a hard nut to crack if you are in the general admit. It seems those that are in the LEPs have a better time adjusting to such a large university. I believe for DS he has had only 1 course that had TA’s (ECON), the rest have been taught by the prof. This of course goes back to the LEP situation.</p>

<p>DS is an OOS, from NC (now VA), he is like Max’s son, and his friends ar from everywhere. He shares a dorm/apt with 6 guys, and 2 are from MD, 1 from NJ,(his best friend) the rest are from WA, Del, Chicago and him.</p>

<p>UMD is not a fit for everyone, even the most outgoing student in an LEP can have problems finding their place in the school. It really is about clicking with people. When I say clicking I don’t mean clique, I mean having and instant easy repore.</p>

<p>The hardest part I think for general admit freshman is that you may or may not click with your roommate, thus, it is hard to spread your wings out even further, and you get into a hole real quick, when the roomie found friends to go to the football game while you haven’t. In the LEPs, because the dorm is filled with the same people that are in your classes, plus you have seminar it becomes easier to find that “new” friend. DS’s best friend is not his roomie from freshman yr, but the guy that lived 2 floors down. He is now his current roomie. This guy did not like his roomie and would come up to DS’s floor. They became friends because they had 3 out of 4 classes together and both are avid football fans. Their group expanded from there. I highly doubt that he would have been happy being a general admit. It does not fit his personality to be the out going guy. He goes to frat parties because his friends go, otherwise, he hangs in other kids dorms.</p>

<p>As far as the bars and frat row, let’s call UMDCP like it is, a typical college town. The bars are reknown for being low class. The Voo has always had that descriptor. You didn’t ever go there without wearing your Voo Shoes, in other words, ones that you would only wear there because they will be ruined from all of the beer on the floor…I can still 22 yrs later hear that sticky noise in my head as you walk. (Bullet went there)
The frats are filled with typical hormone filled alcohol filled guys. Think about animal house, not the beautiful house, but the other one! This is not a rarity, but probably a Mid-Atlantic East Coast thing, because I can tell that Rutgers, Drexel, UPenn, Temple, Duke, UNCCH, are all the same from the days gone by (when I was young).</p>

<p>I do wish you the best, and I hope that wherever you go you will find happiness. Like I said, UMDCP is not a fit for everyone, and you were right to bring to light things that have been disappointing to you.</p>

9

<p>I agree that not being able to click with your roommate is a huge factor… My roommate and I actually requested eachother via facebook because we seemed to have the world in common, however we are very different and have conflicting lifestyles, therefore haven’t really formed a good bond. She likes all the fans on and windows open in this cold weather, she likes having her boyfriend sleep in the dorm every night and it’s hard to focus on work (library is great though), she’s also from MD and spends all her times with her friends from high school and this has impacted me in the sense that I don’t have the same great roommate relationship as the rest of the people I have made friends with do, and it helps them to, as you said “spread their wings.” So in that sense I was definitely unlucky, and this probably has a contribution for why i’m having a harder time here than some. Being in a smaller group like honors or something would also definitely make the school a lot more close knit. </p>

<p>But I do think the right person would love it here. I thought I would love a huge school with lots of spirit, greeklife, and sports but if anything this semester has benefitted me in realizing that I want a smaller more personable school with a nice college town perhaps in less of a metro area. (I applied to UVM, which was a safety of mine last year but it seems to have the little things I’m looking for, a smaller public university with a close knit community, not necessarily overrun by greek life… I also applied to BC NEU and BU to be closer to home in my favorite city :slight_smile: )</p>

<p>Thank you everyone for the good wishes, and I hope the best for everyone as well!</p>

10

<p>Summer I remember last yr somebody saying the exact same thing that they requested their roommate over facebook. I stated back than it was a bad decision. As scary as it is to have a stranger, universities use a computer model to set them up. DS had no problem with his roommate, but everyone on the floor hated the kid, hung with DS, but not in their room. I am guessing DS got him because he was the most easy going out of them all! DS was also OOS with an IS roommate.</p>

<p>I think your last post is the best for future UMD students. The creation of a friendship on facebook made it harder on you. The roommate issue really is a large component in make or break. When you both come in knowing nobody on your floor, you immediately create a bond and you go together as a package for the first few says to spread your wings. When one does not need that, then the other is hurt since they will feel very quickly as the 5th wheel.</p>

<p>For those who are concerned that every IS student knows everyone from MD, remember MD is very populated, and has many dorms/programs. I think LEP also does a good job at breaking that quickly because they move in before everyone else, which means you immediately start socializing before your hs buddies show up, and they have seminar, which creates a small community.</p>

<p>I hate to say it summer, but I wonder if you were in LEP how you would be feeling now. For example, DS does not hang in College Park on the weekends during(no football games), his group goes to DC, and spends time at Dupont, China Town, or in Georgetown. I think already Bullet and I have recharged his smart card already 1 time, and he had 50 bucks on it to start (fyi that is alot of money for the metro…it’s probably 7 trips in and out). Thus, for him he has the small university in a large university with a city atmosphere.</p>

11

<p>I wish you the best. Where are you hoping to transfer to?</p>

<p>I agree that UMD is not for everyone; I’m obviously on the UMD bandwagon, but the best college experiences are based on where you feel like you belong. Unfortunately, College Park isn’t it for you. Good luck (and try to make the most of the time you have there!)</p>

12

<p>My son has some of the same gripes as you and he’s OOS but he doesn’t have the urge to transfer.</p>

<p>Social scene: For him, too much tied to partying, but he understands that is mostly any college because of the age of most of the students. He feels a lot of pressure from friends to go to parties even tho he doesn’t drink, but he doesn’t want to be around a lot of drunk people so he has to find some other social outlet. He’s working on it.</p>

<p>People: He also finds that a lot of kids who live nearby spend all their time with HS friends. I think you will find that this will drop off over time. I went up to pick him up for the long weekend (also Parents Weekend) and was surprised how many kids were headed home last Friday afternoon. Give it time, people are developing new networks of friends so they are still connected with their old friends a lot. Yeah it would be easier if you had built-in friends to hang out with but when you transfer you will probably have the same problem unless you go to a school where your previous friends went. His roommate and he get along well, but part of that is that his roomie is local and gone a lot, so it’s a good news/bad news kind of thing.</p>

<p>The food…yeah he’s right there with you. He’s soooo sick of diner food and it’s only been a few weeks. That’s the way life in dorms is. Unless you go to a college where you get a full apartment, you have to eat institutional food. My daughters both have their own full kitchens at other colleges and guess what…they are tired of grocery shopping and cooking their own food, and it’s only been a few weeks for them too. :p</p>

<p>Professors…once you get into your own major, you will find an attachment to your department and this will lessen.</p>

<p>I feel for you, Hon, and if your heart is set on transferring, then best of luck to you. But there will be challenges with transferring too…getting re-integrated into new social groups, finding your niche, new roommate, etc. My guess is that if you stay, you will find your place and what you enjoy by February and never look back. </p>

<p>BTW, if you don’t like the bars/social scene at Maryland, have you considered going into DC and visiting some of the great places there? Old Ebbetts Grill, Hard Rock, etc. One of my son’s favorite things is going to DC and seeing all the cool stuff there.</p>

13

<p>Centh. DS came home last weekend too, the reason why was some profs canceled Monday classes for the long weekend, when it isn’t a long weekend and there is a home football game you won’t see that.</p>

<p>I think both your DS and our DS are in the same situation because the fear of ROTC pulling that scholarship looms over their head. I would suggest for him to try to bond with NROTC, even though it is x town, I am sure there are some on UMD. I don’t know about NROTC, but AFROTC has their own social fraternities which DS has elected to become involved with. He will also find as his NROTC career progresses he will start to bond with them more, thus his social situation will dramatically change.</p>

<p>I also agree, DS spent many weekends in DC, whether Old Towne, Georgetown, Morgans, Chinatown or Dupont they would go there as a group on the metro and spend the day wandering. It is a cheap way to spend the day.</p>

14

<p>Yeah, thanks, Pima…he does quite a lot with his NROTC buddies and that is his social network. They do PT, ride together to GWU classes and drill and even go out together most Friday nights. He’s also got a few friends from classes he talks to regularly. I’m glad he and his roommate get along well, he said they even marvel at how well suited they are for each other. He’s doing fine, it just takes time. (<em>Same for you, Summer</em>) :D</p>

<p>Thanks for the encouragement!</p>

15

<p>D2’s dorm scene has not been what she was hoping for, but she’s extremely outgoing, and after the first 3 weeks, she got involved in a bunch of things and now is doing great. She’s OOS, and at first didn’t have a roommate, which made things strange, because she didn’t have someone immediately to “hang” with, for those first few trips to the diner, or after floor meetings, etc. She has a roommate (ha! actually got 2 roommates assigned on the same day, but they got that fixed!), and while they may not become bff, they get along fine. </p>

<p>The mix of people on her dorm floor are still partying heavily from Thurs - Sun; the non-drinkers just go home. Last Thursday night, she said that literally, there were 3 people left on her dorm floor…she and a friend, and a guy down the hall by midnight. The same 3 ended up tending to several of the partiers at 3:00 a.m…either directing them and dumping them into their own rooms (before they passed out in the hallway), or guiding them to the bathroom. (At one point all 4 stalls in the girl’s bathroom were filled with girls “praying to the porcelain gods”). She’s hoping that the newness will wear off for some of these people, and that they may realize that there ARE other things to do without going out to get drunk, and that some of the local MD people will start staying on campus on weekends. </p>

<p>Only 2 years ago, older D lived on a floor where there were ALWAYS people around, and about 1/3 to 1/2 of the people did not go out just to get drunk…and either there were more OOS people living on the floor, or the MD people did not go home every weekend… She made some very close friends right away, and is still close to them now. </p>

<p>Sometimes it’s all a roll of the dice. Younger D has met several people through classes (has done study groups for several of them), and through the other activities she’s involved in. Although it was a bit disappointing at first, she knew it would get better. Having her sister around was helpful…although they don’t do that much together, older sis included her in several of her plans at first when it was evident that the dorm social scene was somewhat of a “dud” at first.</p>

<p>Bottom line, though, is that if it doesn’t feel “right” to you, then your experience will not be what it could be. It still goes back to making the best of it, whether you intend to stay or not. Even if you’ve made the decision to transfer, there’s certainly no reason to be content to stay unhappy.</p>

16

<p>DS’s first semester so far…</p>

<p>Dorm: Great dorm, not so great roommate, has maybe four compatible guys on his floor. Hopes to move to Commons next year with fraternity brothers.</p>

<p>Food: Also, not liking the diner food much anymore. He supplements this food with Stamp food and cooking at the other dorm, but says the diner food is very overpriced and lacking variety. He eats organic as much as possible and very healthy and there is not much variety for that at the diner. He says the chicken breasts there are more like nuggets and more expensive!! He worries about running out of points. Although he is thin, he eats at least his three meals a day plus protein shakes. I think he is at around 500 now.</p>

<p>Social Scene: He spends time with Honors friends going to D.C. and hanging out at each other’s dorms to study and at various events around campus for the most part. He’s been to museums and concerts at Hard Rock in D.C. already. Although the Metro is inexpensive, the food is not. He’s gone sailing in New York and white water rafting with the Honors group in West Virginia. I would have to say that socially, he’s dived right in! He does say there are a lot of people from Maryland, but they are all from different counties, so the ones he has met do not all hang around with just each other. Most of his friends are from different parts of Maryland though.</p>

<p>He has another group of skateboarding/surfing friends and they skateboard around campus and at other places and have excursions planned. He’s also joined the ski club or something and will begin taking trips for that too!</p>

<p>He is also a pledge, so he is also spending a good deal of time with fraternity brothers and is enjoying that very much as well. I actually think that has been very good for him.This group of upperclassmen are very goal-oriented and helpful. Yes, there are parties, but it’s not daily or anything like that. DS is way too busy with school to be able to function well if he did.</p>

<p>He was also interviewed for a local television segment scheduled to air this weekend I believe!</p>

<p>I haven’t heard anything about bars. I heard about meeting up at the Thirsty Turtle? once, but that’s about it.</p>

<p>School: In general, he’s stressed. I think like Pima mentioned, the scholarship GPA requirement looms and causes anxiety right now since it’s the first semester. I think he’s having to adjust to the amount of time actually needed to get things done. He’s doing great though! He’s just worried about it being enough. He says it’s hard to tell how you are actually doing because they figure in a curve or scale or something at the end. I think that frustrates him a little. He was used to constantly calculating his grades in high school to know where he was at and that’s harder to do in college.</p>

<p>He does know of people not having as great of an experience, but I have to say, he has really reached out and been happy with the return.</p>

<p>I came back and re-read this post and it reads like a lot of socializing!! So, I thought I would come back to say the socializing is primarily weekends with the exception of skateboarding : )</p>

17

<p>And that is true, it’s a roll of the dice, DS’s floor, same dorm, but ly was filled with a scenario like your DD1. However, that may explain why his best friend would come up to DS’s floor to hang, and that if DS wanted silence he went 2 floors below to his room.</p>

<p>Centh, I can tell you that it will become even more apparent next yr as they prepare for their summer tour, in regards to hanging out.</p>

18

<p>Yeah, he’s gonna be Mr. Popular next summer for their training, since we live 20 minutes from the big East Coast location and he will have his car and knows the way to the best beaches, lol…he’s looking forward to it. :D</p>

19

<p>Luck is absolutely incorporated, in terms of who you end up living with/where/what floor/etc. and what professors you end up with. And though i’m not content here right now i’m making the best of the time i have left. I know that deciding to transfer after a semester is a risk and will probably be difficult. Geographically, I realized I’d like to be closer to home and size-wise UMD is overwhleming to me and I need a smaller school. I have decided on the University of Vermont- because it has the size/geography/location, and though it was my safety school last year when initially applying I think ranking and prestige aren’t as important as finding your fit and being happy. I am a very “outdoorsy” person, slightly liberal, and definitely a ski bum. I have a lot of really close friends there already from various groups, too, so hopefully assimilating won’t be too bad. They also have the program that I was looking for so I think in the long run it will be a beneficial move. And it’s close enough to home that I can come home whenever I need to but far enough to have a sense of freedom from my parents. :)</p>

20

<p>Sounds like a great choice for you, Summer, and I wish you all the best.</p>