My friend is using me

College Life
21

<p>It may seem heartless to just end a friendship, but sometimes it has to be done. </p>

<p>Just this Monday, actually, I decided that I just couldn't deal with an old guy friend from high school. He was never really that good of a friend (he never listened to anything I ever said) and the friendship just kept going in circles (he'd date a girl, fall "in love" with her...and then the girl would break up with him and he'd come running to me to ask about why we've never dated...ugh). So yeah, when he claimed that I've never given him a straight answer about that (which I have more times than I can count at this point) and that he hadn't meant to start anything up or hit on me (I told him that I've been hanging out with a guy over here a lot and that I really wish he'd just drop it because I'd never date him), I blew up on him and then deleted him off of my Myspace, Facebook, and MSN...basically he's dead to me.</p>

<p>Point of the rambling story about that douche-wad is that while I was upset at first (I wasn't sad or anything, just ****ed off), I feel great about it now. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and tell a toxic friend to bugger off. It's a nice feeling :)</p>

22

<p>I can't do that anytime in the near future because she said that her friends back home, her half-sibling (whom I've met before), and parent pretty much know about me. And I will be meeting the parent and the sibling again next week... I was invited to an exclusive event b/c her sibling is the director of the play. They must be under the assumption that we're best friends because of how she described me to them. To tell you the truth, I consider her a friend. We just don't "click" on the level that she thinks we do.</p>

23

<p>I had one friend who kept really annoying me and just wanted to tell me about all his problems all the time... I finally got really mad and went off on him. he acted really sorry but still talks to me all the time. I was sort of hoping it would end having to talk to him, but it is better now.</p>

24

<p>You can decide not go to the event...that is perfectly okay to do</p>

<p>So what if they know about you? What does that mean, exactly. </p>

<p>Here is what I see:</p>

<p>She has a boyfriend, yet she calls you a soulmate. What does that make her boyfriend, who you are supposed to put up? Does she not talk to him about all her problems, or does she save that for you? Seriously, is he the "fun" one and you are the dumpee?</p>

<p>Here is a question and you REALLY need to think about it:</p>

<p>What do you like about this person? What does she add to your life? Do you trust her? Do you like her, ie: what she says, how she treats people, her antics? Are you embarassed by her? Is she fun to hang out with? Can you be yourself around her and relaxed, or are you always watching what you say? Do you find that you want to call her on her comments about others, but don't, even though you know they were hurtful? Does she have other friends and how does she treat them?</p>

<p>I haven't read one thing in your posts as to why you should keep this relationship going? Not one thing. </p>

<p>My D had a friend, not quite as needy as yours, but egad, drama's all the time...D tried to give advice, help friend etc....friend didn't want to hear anything and turned on my D...at first it was hard, as there were mutual friends, and my D liked those people, but as time went on, D saw that while friend and mutual friends were fun, there was a HUGE difference in what was considered a good time</p>

<p>Point is, D let go of old friend, they are still nice to each other, but not like before. It was hard, but D is happy to not have that drama, etc in her life with someone who seemed to create it</p>

<p>I would look at what this "friendship" really is...you can not rescue this girl, it is not your job...as a friend you can make suggestions, etc, but this girl , frankly sounds kind of horrid, and I am not making a judgement because of the mental illness, but if she has a boyfriend, can stay in college and has other friends, she is obviouslly able to function pretty well, but likes to be rude, and is in fact very calculating...making you feel guilty for HER problems that you can do nothing about</p>

<p>threatening suicide if a family member dies and telling you that you will be the one to deal with it is pretty bad...does she talk that way to her boyfriend, and if she is seriousl, when her family visits, you better tell them about her threats of suicide...they could be real...</p>

25

<p>Whenever I'm with her, I feel as though our friendship is actually fine. It's when we're separated that I start to feel doubtful. Anyway, my friends are very understanding of the situation... they're actually quite excited to be invited to her brother's play this Saturday. Also, today, I received news that her boyfriend will not be staying in my room, for one reason or another. hmmph.</p>

26

<p>She's an emotional vampire. Doesn't translate to "user", but it does translate to "creepy and annoying." Disengage.</p>