Currently, I am a freshman in my first semester at large public university A. The top house on campus is fraternity X; they have the largest alumni network, wealthiest/most successful alumni, most closely bonded brotherhood, best parties, and most affiliations with the most attractive sororities. Because of connections, I am guaranteed a spot in fraternity X if I decide to pledge in the spring semester. HOWEVER, I’m attempting to transfer to either Harvard or Stanford at the start of next year, at either of which fraternity X does not have a chapter. I’m quite stuck between these options:
Join fraternity X at large public university A under the assumption I won't get into Harvard or Stanford (1% acceptance rate), then if I DO get in, wipe all affilition with it so nobody knows I was ever a brother, and join a new fraternity.
Wait to join a fraternity until next year, whether fraternity X here or some other fraternity at Harvard or Stanford (meaning no benefits of Greek Life for an entire year of my four years of college)
There is one idea to be further investigated: I pledge fraternity X at large public university A, and IF AND ONLY IF initiation has not yet occurred by the time I hear whether I’ve gotten into Harvard or Stanford, I then decide based on the results whether or not to drop cleanly out of pledging and start anew.
Any constructive advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Option A sounds like a good plan, I would join fraternity X in the spring and then if you get into Stanford or Harvard just quit and join another frat when you transfer. It doesn’t sound like a huge deal to me.
@Jhuebs the problem is, joining any fraternity is a lifetime commitment (or at least it’s supposed to be). Once you join any fraternity, you can never join another. Part of Option A involves hiding that I was ever part of fraternity X, so people at the new fraternity don’t know I was ever initiated.
Do you really want to live with a lie the rest of your life? Sounds like you should wait until you know where you are going to land for the duration of your undergraduate program.
If you pledge the house at your current school, I would do so with the assumption that people at your new school can/will find out. I think bigger issue may be initiation more than pledging (but I could be wrong).
If you really have your heart set on transferring to Harvard or Stanford and IF you get into either school you have your heart set on joining a fraternity at that university, then the best choice would be to wait to join a fraternity until you learn if you’ll be accepted as a transfer student to Harvard or Stanford.
However, the odds of being accepted to either as a transfer student are even lower than the odds of getting accepted as an incoming freshman.
Here is some advice I found online to a question similar to yours, but the answer given doesn’t specify what you should do if the school you transfer to does NOT have the 1st fraternity there as a chapter. If I was a member of fraternity X, I’d probably tell you that you should then start a chapter of Fraternity X at Harvard or Stanford.
OP, choose Option A. Given that you were previously denied admission to Harvard and Stanford, it is extremely unlikely that you will be admitted as a transfer student. Take what you have and make the most of it. You’re at a fantastic school.
Option A. Posts 7 and 8 crack me up. Yes, I’m thinking of pledging a lifetime commitment to my brothers and then pretending it never happened, but don’t judge my character. LOLOL.
The probability of transfer is very low.
Speaking as a member of a Greek organization, let me say that option A is really, really, really uncool. You’d be pledging with the intent of dropping, which frankly is just a waste of everyone’s time. People drop before initiation for all sorts of reasons, but it’s usually for reasons that are beyond their control, like finances. If you’re not seriously committed to the fraternity, don’t waste their time.
My advice is to wait. If you transfer, then you can join a Greek org there. If you don’t, then you can rush in your second year. You mention not wanting to miss out on a whole year of Greek life, and I know the atmosphere is different at large public universities, but at my college, plenty of people rush in their second year and it’s not a big deal. You’re just as much of a member as the people who have been there from day one.
I think you should pledge the fraternity that you like at your current school. Maybe you will decide that you like your current situation so much that you stay at current school.
I would never advise the lying route because getting kicked out of your second fraternity will ruin your experience as a transfer and is completely unethical. You are creating the maximally complicated situation with your plan to transfer schools, lie, keep lifelong secret, pledge second fraternity, get kicked out, be miserable plan.