I’ve never posted on anting like this before and don’t really plant to post much but I need advice from someone thats not family or friends.
I’m a first semester sophomore that has had health issue after health issue and I’m just getting tired of it. I’m a type one diabetic and also have a open wound that I’ve been dealing with since day 1 freshman year. I had to take last spring (2017) semester off because of this wound to get a corrective surgery on it to try and fix it but unfortunately it didn’t work. This is the root of my problems with school.
I have plenty of friends and love my school but no one wants to be friends with the “sick kid”, I have people to hang out with but It’s like I’m on the outside of the group because my health issues prevent me from going out and being active. Taking off a semester also didn’t help because friendships were still rocky and leaving only after a semester kind of diminished those new friendships.Furthermore, I cant take care of myself like I need to while at school and I can tell that school is having a negative effect on my health (stress, diet, etc.). But, I don’t want to leave because I’m at a good school and the one in my hometown is not nearly as good. On the other hand I do want to leave college because I know my health will improve because I can really take care of myself at home.
I find myself in a situation where it’s a lose-lose. I go to college and have "friends’ but often find my health suffering and not having meaningful friendships (has nothing to do with the type of people they are they’ve just always known me as the “sick kid” and its hard to get rid of that label). or I go home and lose all friends receive a slightly worse education but can physically take care of myself better and.
Ive talked to my parents about this but I get the “you can do, we know you can”. I’ve also used all the resources I can on campus (student health services and disability services) but they’re both sub par to what I need.
Sorry for the long rambling post. Any opinions are appreciated.
I am sorry that you’ve had to deal with such serious challenges due to your chronic illness. It sounds like you’ve done reasonably well given all of your issues. Your physical health has to be a priority for you, without it, the rest will be subpar no matter. You will need to work with your parents to make this decision. Like you, they are probably feeling conflicted, but they want you to be healthy too.
Since you have a school in your hometown, I would suggest looking their and maybe living at home, or at lease close to home. You need a support system that your parents and other friends can provide.
This is all I need to read: “I cant take care of myself like I need to while at school and I can tell that school is having a negative effect on my health.”
Go home.
Going away to school isn’t a prerequisite for adulthood. You have other priorities. Take care of your health, and then worry about your education.
Agree. Go home. Talk to your parents and tell them that you appreciate that they believe in your abilities but that health issues now are making it hard for you to do your best. But that you do believe you can reach a point where you handle all of this on your own (maybe they’re afraid you’ll give up/slack off if at home) - that’s just not where you are now.
When my D struggled one year I kept saying “I know you can do it, you’re just as smart as everyone there” thinking that was encouraging. She was seeing a counselor and when I met with them, she pointed out that what I thought was supportive was causing D to feel more stressed. Maybe it is same with you and your parents and they need help realizing this.
Go home and take care of your health. Then take what you learned and use it to search for a school with better disability and health services to transfer to when you are healthy. There is no need to rush off to the school near home if it does not meet your needs.
Thanks everyone for the reponses, it’s helped a lot. I think I’m going to sit down and talk with my parents tomorrow about the options that best accommodate my health needs.