<p>A year ago my son was practically phobic about getting shots. I could see him doing research to justify not getting the vaccine. Then, last June he had an
abscess on his tonsils which didnt drain and required surgery. I guess after the surgery and hospitalization a little shot is no longer a problem. Not only did he get his meningitis booster with no argument but three weeks earlier he asked me to get him an appointment to get his wisdom teeth removed, something his dentist had been nagging him about for three years. I am glad that it was his decision because at the age of 20, I didn’t feel that I could force him on the wisdom teeth. The meningitis booster is a different issue for him; the school told him he needed it and he didn’t question.</p>
<p>[Amazon.com:</a> Bad Science (9780007284870): Ben Goldacre: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Science-Ben-Goldacre/dp/000728487X]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Science-Ben-Goldacre/dp/000728487X)</p>
<p>That’s a great book I would recommend you try to get your son to read. If not just for this vaccine but for health decisions the rest of his life. And, if nothing else, so he can see how many ways people get suckered out of their money with modern-day snake oil pitches.</p>
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<p>Glad you’re perfect. Thanks for sharing. Now quit judging.</p>
<p>emeraldkity: I didn’t say you did or would, nor have I; my point was that judging other parents is not helpful.</p>
<p>^^ agree, when a kid calls his mom a bit** he may not be a POS but he certainly is acting like a s**t and deserves some reaction for biting the hand that feeds him. We all can lose it in the heat of the moment, doesn’t mean we don’t love em & will make up in the end. We parents sometimes need to stick together.</p>
<p>IMHO, POS is a heck of a lot worse than b<strong>ch. But that’s just my opinion. I’d be very hurt if my parents thought that about me. Much more hurt than if they called me a b</strong>ch. They’ve told me before that I was being a B, and I was. But that’s temporary. A POS is far more permanent IMO. </p>
<p>Again, all my opinion. Not judging. Things are different to different people.</p>
<p>@ #67 - [Urban</a> Dictionary: pos](<a href=“http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pos]Urban”>Urban Dictionary: POS)</p>
<p>Just to lighten things up a bit…This whole ‘angst’ thing and ‘stress’ the summer before going off to college, doesn’t exist in our house. DS went off to boarding school in 9th grade. Kids are so much more pliable at 13 than at 17 LOL. Anyway, it’s just going to be like another year at school. He even does laundry better than I do. He even brings home his CLEAN laundry, and it smells so much better than when I do it.
He even cooks dinner when his dad and I work late. And he even washes up…ok, ok…He’ll complain and b***h, but he does it. 
The downside is that he’s at home, very bored because he has no friends here. He’s ‘dying’ to leave for school. So of course, that makes me sad.</p>
<p>Apologies…I just realized that I may have hijacked the thread. </p>
<p>Vaccinations are a MUST. Meningitis vaccine though, I think for college students are probably THE most important. If there’s only ONE that they get, it should be the one for meningitis. There are too many horror stories out there. DS got his for boarding school even before they were required.</p>
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<p>Just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s okay. Many little ones try to bite others or hit-this is not uncommon in child development terms. That does NOT mean you don’t try to correct the behavior and you certainly don’t ignore it. Rudeness and disrespect may not leave physical signs, but it’s no more acceptable in my home than hitting or biting would have been.</p>
<p>I will never ignore rude and disrespectful behavior from my children ever. But I do believe respect is a two way street, and I give it back to my children in spades. So far, it’s worked to our advantage and we have never ever had a verbal altercation such as the OP describes. Our kids are not perfect, and we are not perfect parents, but I don’t think it is in the least bit unreasonable to expect our kids to be respectful in their disagreements (and we are having some of the typical ones pre-college), whether or not they are experiencing the angst of leaving the nest. YMMV.</p>
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<p>Nurses are required to study science and understand the scientific method and methods of research and statistics. Yet the nursing forums are FULL of this anti-vaccine nonsense all the time, with the “science” behind it quoted as support. You would think nurses would be the last ones to fall for that crap. Once people get on the anti vaccine bandwagon, it seems they are completely impervious to reason.</p>
<p>I am a little surprised at the completely uncritical attitudes on this thread concerning vaccinations. As I said before, I had friends with polio in the 1950’s and witnessed the miracle of Salk’s vaccine. However, there are so many vaccinations, and I do feel leery, especially about the newer ones, which are unproven. I have one child who had a bad reaction to a vaccine, and another child with immune system problems who cannot have a couple of them. I myself had a reaction to the tetanus shot a couple of years ago.</p>
<p>I also have doubts about marketing and fear mongering. With Gardasil in particular. The marketing materials kind of twist information on the relationship between cancer and the HPV.</p>
<p>If my kid were researching these things, I would not make him feel foolish. I might even encourage him. I think this can be the beginning of critical thinking. Anyone who deals with serious medical needs knows that the medical establishment cannot be followed without some questioning and research on one’s own.</p>
<p>I would encourage the son, but teach him to look at both sides of a question. In other words, if he is researching the down side to vaccinations, he should be researching the benefits, and what happens to individuals and society without.</p>
<p>Having a vaccination shot is, to me, a serious decision and not one to make lightly. Overall, we have a duty to others to have them. But for certain vaccines, the choice is not yet clear. And we do need to wonder at the rise in certain immune/allergic/asthma problems at a time when multiple, simultaneous vaccinations have been given to babies and young children.</p>
<p>There is a risk/benefit method to make decisions. Perhaps the son could make a list of risks and benefits and if treated with some respect for this process, might come to the “right” decision on his own.</p>
<p>With kids this age, who are dealing with leaving home, sometimes it works better to go along with them, and that trust brings them to where you wanted them in the first place.</p>
<p>How about asking him to do a 3-5 pg research paper on the current status (risk/benefit) of the vaccines (including risk to self and others), review of school policies, as well as the CDC, NIH and FDA policies on vaccinations, and you will review it and discuss it with him then. I think the paper writing would be more noxious than the shot!</p>
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<p>Researching is one thing; drawing conclusions based on crap science and without researching BOTH sides is quite another. The OP’s son has not done his due diligence.</p>
<p>That is why I suggested he research both sides. And some of the research has some validity.</p>
<p>The Lyme vaccine was a disaster, leaving some of the testers with residual problems. Just an example of a vaccine that should have been avoided in early stages of development. Gardasil is controversial. Sometimes it is smart to wait until a vaccine has been around awhile, just as it is smart to wait with new meds.</p>
<p>More pertinent here: Just before my son left for college, he got upset because I had put three sheets in his trunk. He took two out, angrily, and threw them on the floor. Emotions were high, because he was anxious about leaving. I left the room and went for a drive, telling him I expected him to pick them up and fold them before I got back. My daughter went for the drive with me. After a mile or so, I said to her “You know, I am the grown up here.” I called my son and told him that I knew it was an emotional time, and I would come back and pick the sheets up. I told him I did not mean to overwhelm him with too many sheets. When I got home, he had picked them up and folded them and put them away.</p>
<p>He is my oldest. By the time I got to my youngest, I wish I could say I was cool as a cucumber, but every kid is different!</p>
<p>I have to wonder what the opinions here would be if this student was refusing to get the Measles vaccine…or polio.</p>
<p>Here is a question…it seems the student doesn’t want to get this ONE shot…is that correct? He has had ALL other immunizations up to now. That being the case…WHY would the school grant a waiver?</p>
<p>Gardasil is not controversial…</p>
<p>Exactly. Gardasil’s controversies have only ever been political (“does it makes young girls have a false sense of security” stuff), medically, it is safe.</p>
<p>[CDC</a> - Archived Information from FDA and CDC on Gardasil Safety - Vaccine Safety](<a href=“http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/Vaccines/HPV/HPVArchived.html]CDC”>http://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/Vaccines/HPV/HPVArchived.html)</p>
<p>so there are 2 different isues here:</p>
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<li><p>getting a potentially life saving vaccine and refusal of the vaccine</p></li>
<li><p>inappropriate behavior as part of “fouling the nest” </p></li>
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<p>the whole fouling the nest IS normal. That does not mean that it is OK to be disrespectful and mean to your mom. Name calling is not OK, but anyone that says they have not thought their kid was ACTING LIKE a creep, jerk, or little sh** is either delusional or lying. But there is a difference between thinking your kid is acting like a jerk, and telling them they ARE a jerk. And if we don’t show our kids that there are consequences for their actions, the world will- probably sooner rather than later. That is my opinion. </p>
<p>As far as the vaccine goes, it is a tough spot. At 18, he can make his own decisions legally. Even if he personally refused a medical treatment at 14, 15, 16, or 17, many MD’s would not force a vaccine (or medical procedure) on a patient out of ethical obligation, regardless of the parent persistence . They just don’t advertise that fact often. And they hope not to have to go down that road! </p>
<p>cheekymonkey, has your son talked to the MD about the vaccine, and how did that conversation go? Sometimes, the MD can find the right words to convince the patients when you can’t.</p>
<p>ok- I’m working so I’ll have to make this quick. We’re ok right now- he apologized, and a good night’s sleep made me less furious over the name calling. He has not yet gone for checkup- that’s next week, but I agree w Vlines. I have talked with him about the dangers of wholeheartedly swallowing both sides of any argument. That might have caught his ear. Also, I guess the silver lining in the cloud is that at least he is trying, or attempting to try to think for himself and reason things out. Alos, hindsight made me remember that years ago, when i refused to buy junk food or soda for our house, I listened to loads of whining as to why we didn’t have " good snacks" like their friends. And much as I touted the benefits of homemade treats and fresh fruit it all fell on deaf ears. I didn’t make it a hard and fast thing- if they wanted to eat fast food with a friend’s familt- good for them, I just would not supply it. Fast forward nine years, and all i hear from anyone is “You were right” “I would never go to McDonald’s” and " That stuff is poisonous" ( fast food). So, maybe when he goes off to school, he’ll be less dogmatic and more willing to see both sides. We can only hope. Unfortunately for me my charming child inherited both my best and worst traits!! Generous, and kind, yet, stubborn to a fault and possessing a bad temper.</p>
<p>It’s his decision. You are likely, as we all are likely, to find that after all of these years of our careful care, our kids are not as careful with their bodies as we are. This is just one small example. THere are probably even more higher risk things that will be happening as well. So leave it. Yes, he will have that risk, and if his school won’t let him register because of not getting the vaccine or other consequences occur, I guess he might just have to take some time out from college and find something to do that doesn’t require the vaccine. </p>
<p>I won’t even begin on a list of things far riskier that young people do. This just happens to be in your face.</p>