Stop trying to find a loophole out of this. Before I was trying to be kind and let you see for yourself the impact of your actions but it is clear that you don’t understand the consequences of your own actions. So I will be blunt.
The way I see it is you have two options: Own up to what you did and do it sincerely, and they might let you off easy. Or try and continue your deception and be faced with further consequences once they find out that you are lying. While I may be able to forgive a kid who made an error, I have much less sympathy to someone who continually tries to lie about what they did.
The way you are acting right now tells me that you are not thinking about the broader picture and sounds quite entitled. Look it at from the people on the other side. If you committed such an act of severe academic dishonesty, how can they trust that those grades that you are so proud of are not achieved my the same dishonesty.
I understand that there is tunnel vision going on right now but this is not the end of the road. You will have to earn your way back up and show that you have changed, but it is far from over. The college you go to does not determine your self-worth, what does determine your self-worth is your integrity and values. If you can not see that, then I am sorry then no one on here can help you.
If you speak honestly with your mom, perhaps she can help you. Otherwise there will be no one on your side when the truth is finally revealed. Whether you own up to it or not is up to you
If u lie, it’ll be obvious and you’ll simply come off as arrogant & unrepentant. That’ll REALLY pi$$ them off and you’ll likely be dealt a harsher penalty.
If u confess, OWN your stupidity and be HUMBLE, it’ll go a lot better for u… When u apply to colleges, u will have to work closely w your guidance counselor to explain the incident: it was learning experience for u, yadda yadda yadda…
Everybody makes mistakes. However, it seems that you’re not sorry you did a bad thing, you’re sorry you got caught doing a bad thing. You need to take responsibility for your actions. The school will probably put this on your permanent record, which means it will have to be explained on college apps, so make sure your list has some reasonable safeties on it. If the school believes they have sufficient proof, they can give you zeroes and put it on your transcript whether you confess or not. If you need this class to graduate, that’s going to present you with a more pressing problem than not being able to attend Harvard.
How could they know it was you who did it? The computer may have a webcam and program logs, the teacher may keep old tests (or copies), and the quarter/midterm grades may not match up to the report card in guidance (depending on how many grades you changed and what part of the year they were in). HOW they know doesn’t matter. You did it and they know it. I suspect that if you tell the truth you’re going to fail that class. However, if you don’t tell the truth, the punishment could be more severe. If I were you, I’d admit it and apologize to the teacher.
If they give you a zero (or several of them), your GPA won’t be 3.9, so you may have to adjust your expectations when creating your college list. If I were you, I’d tell the trurh. Cheating is bad enough, you don’t want to add lying to your list of transgressions.
@GMTplus7 Maybe we have different opinions of what schools are selective? Before this incident I was looking st UCLA and USC, but with this incident daunting my school record, those schools are practically off my list.
Like I said, I do understand that what I did was wrong and unethical, but I am trying to think about what would be best for my academic future and also no, I can’t just talk to my mom with honesty because she is just a very strict and judgemental person, given that she has never gotten a B in her entire life, she already sees me as a failure. I do have high morals, and I value academic integrity, today I disappointed myself just as much as I will disappoint my parents and teachers tomorrow…
I know of 4 expelled kids who got into selective schools. 2 are going to USC. 1 went to U Chicago. 1 went to Stanford (but super rich family). I don’t know the circumstances of their expulsion.
I am not going to tell you what to do. But if you are truly the person of morals and integrity that you claim to be, you will own up to what you did and apologize tomorrow. Otherwise may the chips fall where they may
Thinking only about your academic future and not about ethics is what got you here. Doing so again would be a grave mistake. Would your mom be more disappointed in someone who messed up once or would be more ashamed of a person who lacks the character to take responsibility in them? Something to think about
@GMTplus7 - Really? But how could you possibly know so many expelled students who got into those schools? So you’re saying that this isn’t such a huge deal breaker for colleges so I should just confess to reduce my punishment and uphold my moral standards? Well if what you are saying is true, that is very reassuring… but I’ve never heard of an expelled student getting into a selective college so I don’t know if I should believe that quite honestly and that thought scares me.
@shawnspencer Well I think I made up my mind, thanks for the honest feedback and I’ll just have to wait and see how tomorrow goes.
I wonder if the teacher had a camera open. Last year a girl in my kids school did the same thing, only she changed a couple of kids grades while the teacher was out of the room. She wasn’t expelled, but did get kicked out of National Honor Society and got suspended and a few zeroes. I suggest you start looking at colleges where you will not have to report this incident. Don’t lie about it, you will make it worse. Bring a lawyer with you or demand they wait until you get one.
Redmadam, I’m sorry you are in a position where you feel it is preferable to lie and cheat than to disappoint your mother. She has obviously put an intense amount of pressure on you if you feel that getting a b in a class makes you a failure in her eyes. If true that is unfair. But life isn’t always fair and you are old enough and apparently smart enough to know right from wrong. Changing your grades was wrong and lying about it is worse - now is your chance to stand up for yourself in front of your mom and stop trying to live up to her expectations of you - and be the best person you can be and be true to who you are.
Also, you are only a junior and senior year will be that much harder- remember that you didn’t just do poorly on one test, it seems your work in physics is of low b quality. There are no guaranties you will get all As senior year and that might mean lowering your expectations anyway and finding a school that is right for you, not the idealized version of you that you want to show your mom, and the world. This is a wake up call- stop trying to please your mom’s apparently unrealistic and unfair expectations- be totally honest tomorrow with the school (try to speak to the principal and/or teacher without your mom there at some point- if not tomorrow then the next day-) come clean to what you did and that you know it was wrong and perhaps if the admin understands how much pressure you have felt to be the perfect student which drove you to cheat, they will not forgive, or excuse it, but be more willing to give you a chance to show them over the next 12 months that this was a total aborration and that you’ve learned and grown from this.
I agree with others here that there is no way to deny this and get away with it, that even if you could you are apparently not the perfect all As student you have tried to be for your mom so most likely would get bs in the future and “disappoint” her eventually. So figure out the kind of person YOU want to be, and be that person starting now.
in a year or so you’ll no longer be living with your parents- but you always have to live with yourself…
Quite frankly, I find this pretty sad. You’re really not sorry for what you did-only for the punishments that you may receive. You say that you are a person of morals and integrity, but from this post, you clearly don’t know right from wrong. You gotta stop playing victim here, and take responsibility for your own actions.
Sorry for the rude comment, but you need to man up
If you want more time to consider your options, ask to be represented at a hearing. Find out what your rights are. To do this, you are going to have to tell your mother what really happened, that you want an attorney.
I think you have to tell you mom. Tell her that the pressure you feel from her perfectionism was more than you could take. Tell you you cracked under the pressure and cheated and you need to explain it in the meeting. She can’t ‘suspend’ you so there is no downside. Tell her you need a more supportive parent than she has been and you need that support right now more than ever.
You have to realize that to deny it means they can’t trust anything you say or do and you might be expelled. To explain it might mean they might believe you that it was the one incident and not cancel your other grades. However it is so outrageous thing to do I can’t think they are going to let it pass without something serious. I think it is going to be the best outcome if you can convince that it was limited to this class. That you were stressed and the opportunity came and you didn’t think it out.
You have to realize that you are already going down for this. You have been caught. So what ‘ruined your life’ was your action. They have no way to trust anything if you keep lying, it just means that you have no integrity whatsoever. they know you did it.
Colleges will look past it when the person shows that they owned up and tried to make amends. If the school has to put that they caught you red handed and you refused to see the error of your ways then you are toast. Your GC or a teacher may be willing to say this was out of character. Your school may allow you to find a way to make it up. You may have to take a bit of a different route to college. Maybe a gap year so that you have your Sr year grades in your application and something appealing you did for a year. But it is time to stop reacting out of fear and desperation and find some way to make this a turning point for you to be more honest to yourself and your mom. Good luck. There isn’t any getting around that you will have a horrible day, I’m sorry for you. But after that it can’t get any worse.
^^^All of these people, adults and students, are telling you the same thing but you are really trying hard to rationalize and get all of the posters to agree that you should continue deceiving the school. (you are grasping at straws!)
I now agree that you really are a hard worker; no one on this post can say that you aren’t trying hard to convince everyone that you need to lie now, so that you won’t ruin your life later. You can’t see the forest for the trees.
You don’t seem to understand how your character has and will come through in your applications for college. It doesn’t matter what the school does tomorrow because you won’t be able to answer the character questions on your college essays, ever, ever, ever. Based on what you’ve written so far, you don’t appear to have any guilt or integrity.
I don’t believe that you even realize how awful this post makes you look in trying to justify further cheating/lying.
Own your drastic cheating and confess. Otherwise, no one will ever be able to trust in you in life-not friends, family, life partners, no one.
You may want to seek some professional psychological help.
I know, because they were expelled from my son’s prep school. And I only mentioned the 4 for whom I know the name of the matriculated college. It’s many more than 4-- it’s a really unforgiving prep school!
If u show humility, play your cards right & get your GC to advocate you’ll be OK. Harvard, though, is realistially gone unless between now and December u cure cancer.
But if u have super high scores & GPA, the merit schools like UChicago & USC may still be in the game.
Sooo… I was at the principal’s office today and my physics teacher told me that he is really disappointed in me and they want me to do some community service at school, but I won’t be suspended and it won’t be on my record so that’s a relief. Thank you so much everyone for your honest opinions and I’ll take this time to reflect on my actions.
How did your mother take it? Are you grounded until age 30?
Red madam they were very lenient and you are very fortunate. I hope you take to heart the wise advice of several posters about your need to self-reflect on your character and concept of honesty and integrity. Use this event as a prime chance to grow up. Your way of dealing with stress and approaching your errors and problems is going to really bite you on the backside one day.
Redmadam, you dodged a huge one here. The top student at a local prep school was expelled last year for helping another student with one test answer.
Your school has given you something that many other schools don’t: a second chance. It is amazing that this will be off your record. So you need to do more than reflect. You need to pay this forward. You are obviously very bright. Ask your principal if there is a summer student who could use some extra help after school. By helping that student, legitimately, you might be taking some of the pressure off of them to make a similar, bad decision. Also, write a note to your teacher thanking him/her for their kindness and support.
Remember, as you go through your life, you want to be the person that other people look up to. You do this by being helpful, generous, and honest, and not by taking unfair advantage when someone has left the room. BTW, many of the most amazing people in this world were B students.
Also, FWIW, as a former adjunct university instructor, I can assure you that teachers check their grades very carefully before turning them in. And they know what they gave each person.
@GMTplus7 My mom never grounds anyone, she just stops talking to me… that usually lasts a few months.
@MidwestDad3 I know and I will.
The worst part was looking into my teacher’s eyes and see all the disappointment. He said that what I did was beneath me and I lost all his trust and admiration… that was really heartbreaking to hear.
Aside from the community service, I’m kicked out of NHS (National Honors Society) too. 