<p>Hey CC. I'm a freshman in high school. My mother has had dreams of me becoming a programmer before I was born (she's a programmer earning six figure salaries). I've been familiar with computers since I was very young. My dad, on the other hand, wants me to go into engineering or business. They separated in 2007, and I now live with my mom. Keep in mind that my parents ALWAYS disagree with each other. This will be important later.</p>
<p>In 2008, I moved to Canada with my mom. She's been forcing me to take math courses ever since. She thinks that I'll learn to love math eventually because <em>she</em> loved it as a child. She ignores my requests for courses I'm actually interested in, such as Psychology and Business. When I try to bring up my future, she ignores what I have to say and tells me that I have the option of either becoming a programmer or a financial analyst, both of which are terribly mathy jobs. She would've been okay with Business if my dad wasn't interested in me taking the course. This makes me extremely frustrated -- my future isn't the little game on the palm of their hands!</p>
<p>I know I'm only a freshman, but the thought of me choosing my major (and this is in 2 years!) is already has already occupied my mother's mind for OVER A YEAR. I try to avoid talking about it, but she brings it up at least three times a day. Any discussions about schoolwork and my course schedule/future plans will turn into a heated discussion of her threatening to kick me out of the family/kill me (no joke) if I don't become a programmer. She has hit me over this, and I have scars to prove it. I've talked to her best friends about this, and they can't seem to convince her. She continues to waste my time and energy by signing me up for math competitions and whatnot.</p>
<p>The worst part is, I don't have enough reasons NOT to be a programmer. I took a programming course last summer and wasn't bad at it at all. I live in the Silicon Valley. My mom has connections from all over the world. It's incredibly in demand. The only reason I have not to be a programmer is because I'm absolutely miserable when I code. This doesn't seem to satisfy her.</p>
<p>Ever since seventh grade she's been forcing me to take classes I don't like, to learn things I'm not interested it, and has been exposing me to series of codes I have absolutely no interest in. CC, I'm tired of dealing with my mother's bu11sh1t. I don't want her to ruin my high school years and/or my future out of college. How do I get her to stop acting like a selfish kid?</p>
<p>Honestly, if you can code, you don’t have to major in CSci to get employed. I have a very successful programming career and I never took a single CS class.</p>
<p>I would find a school that will give you a full ride and major in whatever you want to major in.</p>
<p>Or maybe the two of you could compromise on something like computational psychology? That way you gain the CS education she thinks is so important, but get to apply it to a field you are actively interested in. UC Irvine has a BS in Cognitive Science that would fit the bill, for example. By the time you graduate high school there will likely be several CompPsych programs that don’t even exist yet, as it is an emerging field. <a href=“http://www.cogsci.uci.edu/[/url]”>http://www.cogsci.uci.edu/</a></p>
You probably can’t … but you can probably minimize the negative affects of her behavior. For example, keep your options open as long as possible … for example, in college, before your declare your major take courses that would allow multiple choices of majors. In addition, research schools that allow double majors so if she is still forcing things at that time you can also go the direction you want. Hopefully she will calm down eventually and realize it’s your life and not hers … but in the meantime I’d suggest you keep you options open avoid confrontations about this untill it is necessary to confront it.</p>
<p>What do I mean by this. If you have a #1 college but it does not have majors your Mom wants but your #2 college does go to the #2 college … then your first couple years takes courses that allow for both your and her choices for majors. Then, you may have to fight over majors but until then you probably can make it work while she is not being supportive.</p>
<p>That was my plan - to take a bunch of GenEd courses in my first two years of college while building connections in my chosen major. I’ll apply to scholarships and paid internships to make the last two years of college work. Thank you! Both of my parents need to hear that, haha. They’ve been using me as a way to compete with one another and it gets quite annoying.</p>
<p>If you have to become a programmer, maybe double major or minor is something you love (if you can handle the work). Best of both worlds, learn the stuff you want, while keeping your mom happy and having a good career in the end.</p>
<p>There are a lot of people getting degrees in psychology, and not having any job when they graduate. Also with a general business degree. Some degrees lead to ****ty work you did not expect. Maybe your mom just wants to set you up with something she knows is good. Having an actual skill out of college is important. </p>
<p>You never know what you will end up liking, we all change a lot. So just keep your options open. And of course, if you REALLY hate it, don’t get a degree in it.</p>