<p>Sorry, Legend, for your situation. You have been through a lot already, and still have a tough road to travel.</p>
<p>When you and your mom intensify your battles by taking extreme (and self-serving) points of view, it just rips apart the family. Compromise is what's needed here. Your mom is not ready to make long term decisions, and she needs the child support money to run her household right now. You are set on going away to college; wouldn't it be the mature thing to delay that for one year, giving your self a chance to earn the money that is now so necessary, and helping with the problems at home? I know that isn't what you want to hear, but you are going to exacerbate your problems if you go against your mom's wishes and leave home this year. Your little brother will have to deal with the gambling, etc., situation on his own (and imagine how crazy things could get).</p>
<p>Take the first steps towards adulthood. You didn't ask for this responsibility, but it is still yours, and you need to stand up and help your family. See if your school will agree to a gap year, and let your mom know you will be there for her.</p>
<p>I am fairly sure SS benefits continue till you are 20
at least according to Marian Wright Edleman
[quote]
Social Security gives a monthly benefit to the dependents of deceased, disabled, or retired workers. Last year, 3 million children under 18 received these benefitsone of every 24 children in America. This coverage continues until age 20 if the child is in college and without limit if the child is disabled. Last year, 111,000 college students and nearly 760,000 disabled people over 18 were eligible, so if we add them, there were 4 million children of workers who were direct beneficiaries. Another 1 million children under 18 are direct recipients of Supplemental Security Income (SSI), a means-tested entitlement for disabled and aged people without adequate income. All told, about 5 million children of workersmostly under 18, but some in college or disableddepend on Social Security and SSI checks directly.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Well I am wrong I just looked on SS website
too bad
When my dad died I was eligble to recieve benefits I beleive until age 21 at least- I wonder when it changed ( obviously recently because my quote from Ms Edelman is from march of this year)</p>
<p>I talked with my Mom on the phone and we discussed things in a calm tone... she tried giving me a better picture of our expenses. Our lifestyle comes with fairly high expenses and so really I think I should be questioning Penn and why they aren't giving me a better package than they are. My mom has to pay a VERY large sum of money every month (Comcast, utilities, insurance, etc) and so she simply told me she cannot afford to send me to college and that is why she refuses to pay anything. She told me she will probably have to sell the house but she doesn't want to... she said that she should not have to go into debt to send me to college, which I understand.</p>
<p>It's more a question of why Penn thinks we can afford 14k.</p>
<p>Yeah that's what I told her... these Ivies are known for meeting 100% need, no? Or am I wrong in this fact? Regardless, I told her that if Penn is giving us such high numbers, then SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE, is not correct numerically as they should not be arriving at high numbers, yet my mom has said that she's told them virtually everything. The man we've been talking to at Penn says he understands our situation and will do the best he can and report back to us on Monday morning... I guess we just have to wait and see what happens.</p>
<p>I'm so glad that you and your mother were able to talk calmly. Regardless of what happens with Penn, I think your mom should consult a financial adviser who can help her think of ways to reduce her expenses and plan for her future. </p>
<p>It sounds to me that the Penn Finaid officer is sympathetic, so, as I said, I am hoping for good news.</p>
<p>I hate to be a bucket of cold water when things are looking up- but if your school only gives need based aid- they are not generally going to care about your expenses only assets and income</p>
<p>if they gave more weight to expenses then people who live in areas with high costs of living & who were self employed wouldn't have such a tough time getting aid .
They are NOT going to care about how much your insurance is- how much you have to pay for cable or wireless or any expenses
If you had unusual expenses like paying for an elderly relatives nursing home care, then you could appeal the decision and you might have a chance, but truthfully it doesn't sound like there are not places that could be cut back.</p>
<p>You are asking if there is a way to make your mom pay what you think she should be legally obliged to pay - unfortunately, once you are 18, you are considered an adult, and your parent is no longer responsible for anything, including necessaries (except the colleges and feds feel that your parents' assets should be taken into account in determining how much they should pay, but are not required to). I assume the 1.5K per month is social security due to your father's death - that ends one month prior to your turning 18, so that income will go away for her, as well. It's a scary thing for a woman without a lot of education with 2 kids to rely on just the amount of money she has to last the rest of her life. Be parient - she is doing the best with what she has experienced in her life - and college simply is outside her realm of experience. Take your future in your own hands, and your mom will eventaully come around and be proud of you. She still may not pay for something she does not think is necessary. I am proud of you for wanting to excel in academics and learn. Be proud of yourself and find a way to make your dreams come true - a different college is still college. Don't fight with your mom, just set your own course, and this will help set her mind at ease. She probably still sees you as a dependent, a scary thought in her situation, and more years of this to come, whereas, if you were working after HS, she wouldn't have to worry anymore about you. Relieve her mind - take charge of your future, and she will see that you really are growing up, and can be self-sufficient.</p>
<p>Well, let's not guess what the finaid officer can or cannot do. Finaid officers recalculate all the time. If the situation was so cut and dried, he could have just said No Way.</p>
<p>There's another piece of the financial puzzle that shouldn't be overlooked - as a single parent, she can file her tax return as HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD - and - continue to claim you as a dependent - but only as long as you are in college, once you reach 18 years of age. </p>
<p>The tax benefits to your mother if you go to college (and thereby allow her to continue to claim you as a dependent) will not add up to 14K/year, however, they are significant, and should be figured into the equation. </p>
<p>Add this piece to the statistics on the earnings of a college graduate vs. those with no degree. The facts are incontrovertible.</p>
<p>Perhaps the $500K can be invested in such a way that the income it generates will fund the $14K a yr he needs? So at the end of the 4 yrs she still has $500K but Dad's life insurance ended up "paying" for son's college? Definitely agree with Alumother about build an example spreadsheet that shows several different scenarios..... interest free loans from mom might be best option here....so many people go thru a lump sum in first year or two of receipt......this way, mom is investing in max and will reap a return later when she might want the money back? </p>
<p>Not sure how big the house is, but perhaps rent a room to a college kid or whatever since max will be at Penn? if house is paid for already, then consider a line of credit against the house? keep day to day expenses lower, but know that it will probably appreciate over the next 4 yrs enough to cover the line of credit for 4 yrs X 14K on average??</p>
<p>Very glad a calmer conversation has occurred....it can be very daunting for a woman whose spouse dies unexpectedly.... if they have never been "responsible" for bills, then it can all be overwhelming. Maybe they both can agree to take it one year at a time... Max can focus on his grades and do well and thus demonstrate to mom that he is worth investing in??</p>
<p>It looks like Upenn is not tied to EFC although they only consider need- but if they aren't dependent on using the FAFSA calculation- sounds like they can do whatever they want
cross your fingers!</p>
<p>This is a very interesting case. It's no surprise that Penn thinks you can afford $14K given $500K in cash or securities and a home with equity. I do wonder if they might rethink if your mother has no work experience or future potential income without retraining.</p>
<p>I agree with the posters that say your mother is probably very confused. She may not have been very involved in family finances and perhaps really doesn't yet know how to manage with what she's been left with. A good financial advisor will really help, but don't bet he'll advise takeing college loans for her. If she has a half million dollars, not a lot of job options and another child, she may have to live pretty conservatively to maintain any semblence of her lifestyle.</p>
<p>Probably, you should be looking at this as if all of the loans might fall to you. Hopefully you can be unemotional about it and really decide if being $60K in debt works with how you see your future. Are you anticipating grad school? Is your potential career high paying?</p>
<p>For some, that kind of deby is reasonable. For others it makes no sense. Calmly think this through.</p>
<p>Don't worry about grad school just yet. As you can pick up from other threads, lots of students work for a few years before going to grad schools, especially in fields where some experience is required (e.g. business). </p>
<p>Can you use your IB to gain Advanced (sophomore) Standing? That would ease your financial burden a tad, though it might make the double major more difficult to achieve.</p>
<p>Legend, dear. This is tough for both of you, I know. My parents did the same thing to me years ago, back then (1975) $4500/year was a lot of money in loans. But I did it. Grad school (in my case med school) will pay for itself through research associate positions, or in my case, a military scholarship. Frankly $48000 isn't that much money in this day and age and you WILL pay it off, I guarantee. I did. When I graduated college in 1979 I had $22,500 in loans. They got paid off. Nowadays med students graduate on average $160K in debt. And they don't start making salaries over $40K a year for 6 or years because of residency and fellowship. But they pay it off. Quit sweating it and take out the loans. Penn will admire you for it.</p>