<p>Four of the colleges I have applied to require the CSS PROFILE. However, my mother refuses to help me fill it out because she says it's "too expensive". We initially agreed that I would withdraw one of the four applications to cut the cost of the CSS PROFILE, but even after coming to that compromise my mother felt that the price is too high. (If it matters, I haven't withdrawn any of the four applications yet.) I'm a first-generation college student, and my mother is very skeptical about the entire financial aid process, despite the fact that she knows pretty much nothing about. I have tried to explain to her that the CSS PROFILE asks for information that the FAFSA doesn't inquire about, and that the knowledge of this information could substantially reduce our EFC, especially because we have a hefty sum of unpaid medical expenses. Unfortunately, nothing I tell her changes how she feels about paying however much it costs to send the CSS PROFILE to four colleges.</p>
<p>What should I do? Should I get a fee waiver, despite coming from a family with an income just under the $100k mark? Is it possible to get a decent amount of financial aid from those schools without sending a CSS PROFILE?</p>
<p>I don’t think a fee waiver will be possible given your income level - fee waivers are for those who can’t pay, not those who simply don’t want to. Why don’t you offer to pay the Profile fees yourself?</p>
<p>You’re likely to not get ANY aid from schools that require a CSS Profile without sending it in. Can you help her with the Profile? Can you explain to her that some Profile schools may offer more grant aid and less loan aid than some non-Profile schools?</p>
<p>But, I don’t think that medical expenses you have not yet paid will help very much. </p>
<p>Do you have some school options that are FAFSA only? Do you have a financial safety?</p>
<p>I agree with sk8rmom. Offer to pay for the fees yourself. If you don’t have the money, work out a work schedule or repayment plan with your mother.</p>
<p>Your mom is defining the old adage “penny-wise and pound foolish” with refusing to pay the Profile application fees. And, honestly, they are not that much, especially not with a ~100K income.</p>
<p>sk8rmom - I have offered to pay the fees with my own money, but she refuses to let me do that.</p>
<p>arabrab - I did explain to her that CSS PROFILE-affiliated schools are known for giving some of the best financial aid packages out there, but as I mentioned earlier, she is extremely skeptical and thinks that colleges have no interest in anything but her money. I’ve recommended that she should do some research on the subject, but it doesn’t seem like she wants to. I have applied to (and been accepted to) three FAFSA-only schools, and I have one financial safety (or two, if you count the scholarships I’ve received from another school).</p>
<p>Can you do the research for her and present it to her? If she’s stressed out and preoccupied, she might not be thinking about this in the right way (especially since you’ve offered to pay for it). It really is worth it to apply to certain CSS profile schools, especially if the ones you’re looking at are the ones that will meet full-need (and, if you’re lucky, without either a cap on loans or no loans at all). The price of sending out 3 - 4 Profiles is a bit annoying, but it’s dwarfed by the cost of trying to pay full-freight at an expensive private without any institutional aid.</p>
<p>To send the Profile to 4 schools will cost $73.00 . Does your mother realize that she stand to pay a lot more than that for college by not sending the forms? Of course, what this ultimate means, is that if you are accepted to those Profile schools, you won’t have as much aid, your mom will say the cost is too high, and she simply will make it so that you can not attend. She will then limit you to the lowest cost of the FAFSA schools, which, won’t be the end of the world. Unfortunately, your mom holds the purse strings, it sound, and not all parents are willing to pay for college. Many people simply don’t value a college education as much as other people do. Some parents dream of IVY league for their kids, because of the opportunities and doors and connections that can open, but some people feel that is ridiculous, and that attending the local public school is good enough. After all, if she can make almost $100,000 without college, why do you need to go anywhere?
I don’t agree with that, but can understand it. You will need to help your mom understand what it is you wish to do with your future, and why college is necessary. You may find yourself having to work and pay for some of what you want by yourself instead.</p>
<p>Is there another adult who might be able to speak to her and explain things? If you’re willing to pay the application fees, I don’t see how she’s thinking “colleges” are going to get her money. They’re not going to get it if she doesn’t give it to them. Even if you’re accepted to a CSS Profile school, there’s no obligation to attend.</p>
<p>If she won’t listen to you, then maybe she’d listen to another adult.</p>
<p>The only other thing I can think of is to fill out the Profile online, print out a hard copy of the whole thing, and then see if any of your colleges’ FA offices would accept the information that way. I know of one kid who did that and the college did accept it on paper, but I can’t remember why he had to do it that way.</p>
<p>Gardna - I’ve showed her various facts and figures multiple times. I’ve even completed a financial aid calculator that is based on the questions asked by the CSS PROFILE and showed her that our EFC could potentially decrease by $7k if we fill out the actual application.</p>
<p>I get the vibe that a lot of you think that my mom would rather pay $50k+ for a year at one of these institutions than $91 (I think) for a financial aid application. This is not the case. She is convinced that I will not end up going to one of those colleges, not because I can’t get in, but because she doesn’t want me to. She thinks I’m lying when I tell her that the four colleges that require the CSS PROFILE will probably come out to be less expensive than the FAFSA-only colleges I applied to.</p>
<p>'rentof2 - Unfortunately, I don’t really know any adults who are capable of explaining this situation to her. All of my cousins who are currently attending/have attended college either went to in-state publics or the nearest private college. Only two of them have lived in a dorm. All of them applied to only one college each, and each of those colleges was a FAFSA-only college. Neither my mom nor I know anyone who attends/has attended a school that asks for the CSS PROFILE. All of the adults in my extended family are extremely fiscally conservative and are happy to see their children go to any kind of college. They don’t really understand concepts like “dream schools” and “schools that claim to meet full need”.</p>
<p>Oh dear. If she doesn’t want you to go to any of these Profile schools, this makes perfect sense. By sabotaging any financial aid you might have gotten, she ensures that with a < $100K income that there’s no way you can afford them. </p>
<p>I’m really sorry, treefingers – that’s a pretty despicable approach IMO. It is one thing to tell your child that the max the family can contribute is $X a year – that’s sensible, and lets the student them make some realistic plans while still being able to apply for merit scholarships and FA to pricier schools. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, I don’t see much that you can do unless you do something radical like take a gap year and use it to apply for ROTC scholarships – though you would need to have a strong commitment to military service to go that route.</p>
<p>Frankly, she sounds like the kind of parent it would be very good to get away from once you’re able. Just think what she can next mess up in your life.</p>
<p>arabrab - Going into the college search process, she told me we would be able to afford around $10k per year. I spent literally days trying to find college options that would make me happy and that would be affordable for my family after scholarships and financial aid. I feel absolutely terrible when I think that I did all that searching only to wind up at a college only 15 minutes from my house and basically go to high school all over again. If I go to that college, I won’t be able to live in a dorm, I won’t be allowed to participate in extracurricular activities, and everyone knows how hard it is to make friends in a class of 200+. I’ve told her that if that happens, she’ll only grow more attached to me and have a more difficult time letting go four years later.</p>
<p>Treefingers - You might want to tell her this: Our family lives in Georgia, where all HS graduates with B averages or better get free tuition at any of the state universities. Our two daughters qualified for the free tuition, but instead have gone to an Ivy League school for LESS than it would have cost them to go to the U. of Georgia or any other state university. The reason is that after we completed the CSS PROFILE, the Ivy League university gave each daughter about $140,000 based on financial need (our annual family income is around $100,000). </p>
<p>You can also offer to have her PM me if I could serve as that adult with whom to confer. BTW, if it helps to support my credibility with her, I’m a college administrator.</p>
<p>Can you convince your mother that the wisest thing to do financially is spend the money on the Profile so that you can then see what all the schools offer for financial aid, and what the lowest cost school really ends up being for your family? The Profile is $25 for the application and first school combined, and then $16 for every other school you send it to. So for 4 schools, that is just 25+16+16+16= $73.00</p>
<p>If you have done the FAFSA, then you know that with your family income and assets, etc, your family has a certain expected family contribution of a certain amount. Schools that use the CSS/Profile may come out with a lesser amount or greater amount, depending on other information you have to provide. It could hurt or help where your mom is concerned, but she won’t know if she won’t allow you to file the forms. She would rather pay $ to keep you close to home I think. If you can’t get away for undergrad, do the best you can possibly do, work really hard to make and save some money, and get away from your mom for graduate school or your first real job after college with no looking back!</p>
<p>how about someone from your school like your guidence counselor, the principal, or your favorite teacher … would they be willing to talk to your Mo</p>
<p>Is she afaid of the CSS? Because, to one extent or another, we all are. It’s not just the complexity; for some, its having to face the reality of our finanacial situations.</p>
<p>Lookingforward: Is she afaid of the CSS? Because, to one extent or another, we all are. It’s not just the complexity; for some, its having to face the reality of our finanacial situations.</p>
<p>I think that the OP has made it pretty clear that this is a control issue on the part of her mom – mom doesn’t want her daughter to leave home, and thus has made sure that will happen by refusing to fill out the Profile. Some parents just don’t want to cut the umbilical cord, and this sounds like one of them. </p>
<p>She reminds me of my MILs mother, who announced that she was coming to live with my M when she was in graduate school because it was unseemly for an unmarried woman to live away from her family. Instead, my MIL entered into a short and rather unhappy marriage just to fend off her mother. I do not have a lot of sympathy for parents who feel the need to control this way.</p>
<p>Agreed. Just wanted to add that possibility. It has come up several times on threads that parents feel incapable or afraid some odd financial practice will be detected. Many kids take over the process when a parent balks. I believe this avenue is closed to the OP.</p>
<p>gadad - I’ve read stories similar to yours and have hinted at those kinds of situations while talking to my mom. She seems to think that those are one-in-a-kind situations, which obviously isn’t true.</p>
<p>3togo - I’ll consider this, although I don’t know if we have enough time for that considering the due date for the CSS at each of the four schools that require it (2/15).</p>
<p>lookingforward - I don’t think she’s “afraid” of it. I mean, she did just fine when she helped me with the FAFSA…</p>
<p>Does anyone have any advice regarding how to explain to my mom that the I pretty much need to fill out the CSS, that we are not nearly as poor as she thinks we are, that what I am doing could be financially smart in the long run, and that I have enough common sense to live without my parents (preferably without hurting her feelings)?</p>