My Parents Don't Want Me to Go Away to College

<p>Hi guys.</p>

<p>I'm a rising senior. I live in Missouri and my dream college is Scripps.</p>

<p>My problem is everyone in my family discourages me from attending a college that is more than an hour away from home. In fact, they want me to attend a school that doesn't offer my major and it's literally 15 minutes from my house. </p>

<p>My mom doesn't even really want me to apply to Scripps and she definitely won't let me visit either. She says that it's a school for a bunch of rich girls who need to be pampered. I know that isn't the case.</p>

<p>Does anyone have any advice? It's really frustrating!</p>

<p>How about watching an online video about the school together with your mom?</p>

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<p>This is probably a bigger issue.</p>

<p>Have you checked the net price calculators at each school to ensure that they are affordable?</p>

<p>Jym626: I tried. She wasn’t impressed. </p>

<p>I don’t know what else to do. It isn’t just my mom, though. My dad, grandparents and aunt and uncle all want me to stay in my hometown. I wish they’d be a bit more supportive.</p>

<p>Ucbalumnus: According to College Board, Scripps will cost about $10,000 per year. It seems affordable. It’s a little cheaper than my state school.</p>

<p>I also plan on getting a job. It’s not like I’m asking for my parents to pay for all of it.</p>

<p>While Scripps does meet 100% of demonstrated need, it wil require the FAFSA and CSS profile to be completed, and your estimation of “need” may not match theirs. Don’t assume the online calculator is all that accurate.</p>

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Where did you read that? The estimated cost of attendance (without aid) is ~$58,000/yr. Did you use a financial aid calculator?</p>

<p>Ucbalumnus: According to College Board, Scripps will cost about $10,000 per year. It seems affordable. It’s a little cheaper than my state school.</p>

<p>?? Where are you getting that info? What are you looking at?</p>

<p>What is your major and career goal?</p>

<p>I used College Board’s Net Price Calculator. I know that it’s just an estimate. I’m expecting the EFC to be higher. My circumstances have changed.</p>

<p>I would like to double major in international relations and minor in Middle Eastern studies.
I hope to work at an international law firm.</p>

<p>Use the net price calculator at the college web site, since the college may have a different notion of EFC than the College Board does. Even if its notion of EFC is the same as that of the College Board, the college may not necessarily offer non-loan aid that covers the gap between list price and EFC.</p>

<p>Note that pre-law does not require any specific undergraduate major.</p>

<p>My advice would be to consider universities that appeal to you academically that also happen to be closer to home and offer generous financial aid. Schools like Carleton, Grinnell, Kenyon, Macalester, Northwestern, Oberlin, University of Chicago, Vanderbilt and WUSTL to name a few.</p>

<p>There are also excellent public universities, like Minnesota-Twin Cities and Wisconsin-Madison that come at moderate prices. Michigan is also good, but relatively expensive and not very generous with aid, so they are out. UIUC is also expensive, but it may have an agreement with Missouri residents for reduced tuition.</p>

<p>Those colleges and universities may not be close to home, but offer excellent academic opportunities and are located much closer to home than California. In other words, work with your parents on an acceptable compromise. It is clear that you won’t compromise on quality, while they have concerns about distance. A middle-of-the-road option may work out for all.</p>

<p>Alexandre: My safety schools are Missouri State and Mizzou. I know my parents would be happy if I went to either college.</p>

<p>Back in the last century, I travelled from Iowa to a highly selective women’s college on the east coast. There are differences between co-educational and single-sex environments. I can understand the attraction of Scripps. I can also understand that your family would feel that you could be out of place with what they expect to be a bunch of rich chicks. To help them get past some of that, find out if Scripps has any alumnae or current students from your area, and/or whose families have similar financial situations as your family’s. That may help with the rich chick issue.</p>

<p>The other issues that you need to deal with are distance and cost. Your family may not be able to cover the full FAFSA EFC, and that could be part of the reason why they are telling you that the commuting distance place is best. If money is the issue (and you are contemplating law school as well which is fiendishly expensive), then you need to look around for places where you can get merit-based aid, and/or that just are cheap even without aid. Truman State would be a place to consider for a MO resident. </p>

<p>If the concern is distance, you have some tough times ahead. Lots of parents want their kids within a couple if hours of someone they know in case of a big emergency. My mom was OK with my college because she had a lot of family in that state and she knew I’d always have somewhere to go for a holiday, or someone to visit me in the hospital if she couldn’t be there. Check the airfares and connections between where you live and where you’d like to study. If your parents dislike flying, what other options do they have to get to you? If the airfare is expensive, can they ever afford to visit? Can they even come when you graduate?</p>

<p>Lastly, if what you are most interested in is the women’s college environment, there are some right there in MO. Pay a visit to Cottey or Stevens, and see what you think.</p>

<p>Wishing you all the best!</p>

<p>HappyMomof1: Thank you! I’m also going to apply to Truman State. </p>

<p>I’ll have to check to see if there any current students from my area. That would be a good way to convince my parents that regular girls also attend.</p>

<p>I guess my parents could drive, but it would be a hassle. </p>

<p>My dad has a few distant relatives in CA, but I don’t know them very well.</p>

<p>I really like the consortium. Scripps is my favorite college out of the five.</p>