<p>Zetsui,
If you live in a place where you can get self-help books for people who grew up in dysfunctional families, do get some of those books, even if you have to read them while standing at the bookstore.</p>
<p>Also check out "Codependents Anonymous," an organization for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. It has a web site that has good info even if you can't go to meetings.</p>
<p>One last thing-- find out how much your parents are willing to pay for your education. This will help you not be disappointed when it's time for college. I almost didn't get to go to my college because my father surprised all of us by announcing (after I was accepted) that he wouldn't pay for anything. </p>
<p>Do whatever you can to get merit aid even if you think your parents won't need it. Dysfunctional families can pull some unpleasant surprises.</p>
<p>I wish you well. I know it's hard. Things will get much, much better, however, when you leave home, and you definitely can grow up and become a person who doesn't abuse their spouse or kids! Yes, one can love one's family while still clearly viewing their problems and making sure that one doesn't follow in their footsteps.</p>
<p>you ain't alone. i've been intensely aware of conflict between my parents since i was 6. i don't really care to go into detail, but i can certainly affirm that it's more than a mere hindrance. If you've grown up with it, it totally changes your outlook on the world, human relationships, yourself...Call it hypersensitivity or whatever. Seemingly silly little conflicts can complicate a person to extremes beyond recall. if this has been going on for very long, chances are you've already been changed for the worse in some way. Otherwise, i can advise you only to distance yourself- do not get involved. it has nothing to do with you.</p>
<p>in addition. some might maintain that such issues will someday come back to bite you in the ass if you pretend to be immune now. the fact is that there is never immunity, and therefore no single cataclysmic occasion. there is just a constant nagging awareness to be gradually reckoned with. what i mean by refraining from involvement is basically that you ought to tell yourself that it is not your fault. dysfunctional families can trick you into believing anything. it's all a blame game. do whatever it takes to remind yourself that what is happening is not reasonable or justifiable. think like Spock, if need be :)</p>