My parents have split decision on college search...help!

<p>Well, to start off, I'm a female Asian living in California.
It's no doubt that I'll apply to the UCs.
But I want to go to northeast (having originally being from there) and my parents don't mind. But my mom and dad have different views.</p>

<p>My dad: He wants me to go to a small but solid LAC where maybe I can get scholarship.
My mom: She wants me to go for schools like Columbia, NYU and Boston College.</p>

<p>I don't mind either paths.
LACs I'm looking at are Middlebury, Wellesley, Colgate, and Smith.
My mom is worried because of the prestige factor not being there, I won't be able to get a job after I graduate.
My mom insists that schools like NYU will get me further in life.</p>

<p>What I want in a college: I love beautiful campuses (like a lot of LACs do), a place where I won't get lost (a problem in UCs..but oh well) with a diverse community.</p>

<p>I haven't visited any college and northeast is too far for me to visit. I'll do so once I get accepted to any college. </p>

<p>Then maybe you are wondering why I'm not applying to LACs, given the qualities that match my expectations.
But I'm also slightly worried like my mom that LACs will prepare me enough for jobs.</p>

<p>I know tons of people who are at colleges like NYU and BC, but none in LACs. So I don't know what to expect.</p>

<p>Sorry this was long but I really need help!!</p>

<p>thanks!</p>

<p>OK... Every other sentence of your post starts with "My mom," "My dad," "But my mom," etc. Since your parents have different views and don't sound unreasonable, I think they'll be OK with whatever you choose. For now, concentrate on your own desires and preferences.</p>

<p>You have to start making some decisions here for yourself. Forget what your parents think for a little while and start evaluating what you think and what you want. If you can't tour, look deep on their websites, contact admissions departments to ask questions, and get in touch with current students. Think about the things you value in a school, the kind of atmosphere you want, the types of students you want to be around (pretty big difference between Smith and BC students, for instance), the kind of educational experience you're looking for in terms of classes, majors, and requirements, and then look at all the schools you've been considering and see how they match up. You'll probably find that this will shorten and focus your list somewhat.</p>

<p>Are you going into your senior year? Find several different schools you like, and apply to all of them. You can have some small LACs, some larger schools, safety schools where you can get scholarships, and more prestigious schools. Just apply to a variety of schools you really like. Once you see what your options are in the spring, you may be able to re-evaluate whether you can do a visit. If not, you'll still find that your picture will have changed. You'll have a smaller number of schools, and by the end of the year you may find that your own interests have evolved.</p>

<p>silv, there are two separate but related issues here: FIT and FINANCE. </p>

<p>Let's take finance first. You say your dad wants you "to go to a small but solid LAC where maybe [you] can get scholarship." Before you go any further, you need to be VERY clear on what your parents can or will spend on your education. </p>

<p>After you've had an open and honest talk with your parents about finance, then you should learn about what your family can expect to receive from the colleges. Most colleges offer need based financial aid, but what they think you need may not be enough. Only some colleges offer merit based financial aid. The type and extent of financial aid has nothing to do with the size or quality of the college. Each school is different. If you must have financial aid to attend a private college, then you must learn the rules.</p>

<p>My son is a recent graduate of a small Northeastern LAC so I can tell you from experience that career success has nothing to do with the size of your college. He and all of his friends are either happily employed in their areas of interest or attending graduate programs at top universities.</p>

<p>If you choose a college that fits your personality and learning style and do well, you too will most likely be successful in whatever you do after college.</p>

<p>You need to do some more thinking about what YOU want in a school. The four schools that you are interested in are all wonderful schools, but are quite different from each other in character and location. It's hard to even imagine Colgate and Smith on the same list. Your mother's list is all urban and yours is mostly rural or small town. Again, there's no right choice, but personal preference needs to be addressed.</p>

<p>Lastly, although the UC system provides a wonderful education for thousands of students, big universities are not for everyone. If you think small or medium would be a better fit, then keep looking for more suitable safeties. </p>

<p>Good luck in your search and let us know how you do.</p>

<p>Hi, thanks for the replies.
Yes, I am a senior this year.
Only recently, I've began to research my search LACs, so I don't really know much about them.
Corranged and momrath, could you please enlighten me on the types of students there are at the LACs I've mentioned?
Momrath, you say its rare for Colgate and Smith to be on the same list. Can you explain to me how this is? One thing I'm worried about Colgate is that it's too rural. I might take it off the list and search for more urban but not too urban areas.</p>

<p>Thanks</p>

<p>
[quote]
LACs I'm looking at are Middlebury, Wellesley, Colgate, and Smith.
My mom is worried because of the prestige factor not being there, I won't be able to get a job after I graduate.
My mom insists that schools like NYU will get me further in life.

[/quote]
I think it's essential to point out that the prestige factor is most assuredly there for these schools, as well as many other LACs. Your mom is just plain mistaken if she thinks otherwise.</p>

<p>It's difficult to generalize about the types of students at different schools, particularly since I do not know these schools personally. The schools I mentioned, Smith and BC, do tend to attract different students overall. Smith is a small college in a New England town. It is a women's college and has a feeling of "women's power" among the students. There is a very large GLBT population, and I believe the students tend to be quite liberal and politically correct. Boston College is significantly larger, includes graduate students, is located in Boston, and competes in division 1 sports. It is also a Jesuit school and home to one of the largest Jesuit communities in the world. For that reason, a large number of students are Catholic, and the school is quite concerned with ethics and personal responsibility. You must also take two theology courses as a student. The schools naturally draw different types of students overall and have different atmospheres. You could be a student who would be happy at either school, but you should recognize the differences.</p>

<p>I suggest that you read--really read--the websites of the schools you think you might be interested in. Look at every section, not just admissions. Take a virtual tour. Spend some serious time online going through the content for students and alumni. You may even find online chats where you can talk to students. If not, e-mail admissions to find out how you could meet with a young alum in your area just to ask questions. Colleges have regional information sessions, too, but I think they are impersonal.</p>

<p>Some would say that the website is the college's own spin on what it has to offer, and that's definitely true. But you can make your own judgments, and you'll start to get a better feel for the similarities and differences among colleges. I am absolutely amazed at the basic questions some students ask on CC--not you, but others--that could be answered in two minutes on a website.</p>

<p>My S is a senior and has a few friends who have similar parental issues to yours. Be proactive, make informed preliminary choices, lay out your reasons, and I'll bet your parents will listen and be proud of you.</p>

<p>If your mom doesn't see the prestige factor in the LACs you've mentioned, just print out lists of their distinguished alums and share them with her. IMHO, attending a university over an LAC may be beneficial if (1) you're looking for a larger student population, (2) you intend to major in something other than the liberal arts, or (3) you are a student athlete looking for an athletic scholarship. If these do not apply to you, then it's up to you to determine what you, not what your parents, want for a college experience. After all, you're going to be going to school there for the next four years--you need to identify the best fit for you. Feel free to PM me if you'd like info on Wellesley.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>"My dad: He wants me to go to a small but solid LAC where maybe I can get scholarship"</p>

<p>Note that among your list, Wellesley and Middlebury are need-based in FA. Smith has a limited number of highly competitive merit scholarships. I don't know anything about Colgate. </p>

<p>Need-based grants and merit scholarship are often used interchangeably by many Asian parents. That will be fine as long as you understnad what it takes to qualitfy for these two different forms of FA.</p>

<p>Note that the four schools on your list are highly selective in admission. Make sure that you do have the credentials. </p>

<p>To satisfy your Mom, would you consider Barnard College in NYC?</p>

<p>If you have a strong desire to leave Ca you need to make sure you have choices that will come in at a competitive cost to the UC's.
Every year I see students who have applied to the schools on your list. The huge majority end up at Cal or UCLA in spite of the desire for a small school. Many Ca parents and students ultimately have a hard time giving up Berkeley for BC or Emerson (two that I have actually seen).</p>

<p>Thank you all for the input.
The reason why many schools are highly selective is because my parents don't see a reason why going to a safety school out of state. Since I'm applying to many UCs, I will have safeties, matches and reaches within the UC system.
But I'm trying to find matches and reaches out of state.
Padad, I was considering Barnard until my mom called it a school with sl*** girls who want to get with Columbia boys. Sigh..I think Barnard is out of the picture.</p>

<p>Your mom is woefully uninformed.</p>

<p>Ask for money to fly out and visit pronto, with planning, you can get a lot done in one trip. Investigate the culture of each school..your list is disjointed but so are a lot of people's. Go with your guts and consider your social/emotional needs and fit if you have the stats for admissions. Do you want your profs to know if you skip a class and to have you over for lunch or dinner...choose a LAC. Do you long for high numbers of people in all sorts of races and backgrounds, crowds and multiple off campus options on weekends? Or can you use the LAC route..which is often to offer fantastic internship semesters that get their students into the big cities and oversears in droves? All of the schools you mention are fantastic and you could be waitlisted at any of them so see each of them for the wonderful societies they are. You can fit into the stereotypical student at each place or break the mold..the important thing is that you give yourself over to your school when you decide and embrace it.
There is some evidence that if PHDs are in your future, LACs can prepare students for graduate schools in hard sciences in a unique way with full profs in the labs. Do you want a grad school that requires an A average? Go where you won't be weeded out but you still feel you can be challenged. My son was admitted to a top ten LAC he greatly revered, but when he actually got there to see it, he realized he wanted a bigger scale cultural arts scene. Honestly, he didn't know this till he arrived and truly considered the arts scene there vs a couple other places that admitted him. That said, he still regrets missing out on the small classes and the other unique things about that particular LAC that can't be duplicated anywhere. Really, stay open. See where you are admitted. Our son visited in April on two campuses and still was not sure if he was an LAC or bigger school person. Have a light heart, but treat each school with great respect..each campus has something special you will have to relinquish but not till next April.</p>

<p>You should consider what fits your personality. NYU is very different than Colgate. NYU is a school in the middle of NYC, you could easily get lost. Colgate has a beautiful campus, but in a rural area. Both Colgate and NYU place many students in banking, but they are for completely different students. Colgate does not offer merit scholarship.</p>

<p>Check out Tufts. It is outside of Boston. Of course, it is also highly selective, make sure you have the credential for it. Tufts also deos not offere merit scholarship.</p>

<p>If cost is an issue for your parents, check out each school's aide before you waste $75.</p>

<p>You seem to refer to "Dad wants this," or "Mom wants this," a lot. This is time for you to start figuring out what is it you want. I am an Asian mom, I can be very controlling, but I would listen to my kids as long as it made sense. It is time for you to step up to take some ownership for your future.</p>

<p>Vassar might suit you --- gorgeous campus and closer to NYC so it's not as isolated. Prestigious name for mom. Don't know how they are on aid for dad.</p>

<p>All the schools you mention provide an excellent education and are prestigious. Some are better known than others, but prestige is not the same as fame (eg. McDonalds is probably better known than any four star restaurant, but it is not as prestigious.</p>

<p>With that in mind, consider issues of fit and finances and what a non-UC school would offer you that a UC school would not (besides not being in CA) How much more would it cost your family to attend a Northeastern university or LAC? Would the different location or size be worth the additional cost? Would your family qualify for financial aid at the northeastern uni/LAC? Many of those you mentioned provide only need-based aid, and the definition of need is by the university or LAC, not the family. So your family might think it would need $25k to make a particular college affordable, but the college might consider that you qualify for only $10k, if that. So you and your parents need to discuss finances, and work through FAFSA to see how much aid you would need, how much you might qualify for.<br>
Some colleges offer merit aid to those students they want to attract. So a stellar academic record is required, but not a guarantee of merit aid. </p>

<p>Besides finances are issues of fit. What kind of location do your prefer? Midldebury and NYU are at opposite ends of the location spectrum. What kind of size? Fewer than 2,000 students? 20,000? Do you work better in small discussion classes or do you like the anonymity of large lecture classes? These are some of the questions you and your parents should be using to guide your selection process. </p>

<p>It may well be that after all these discussions, you will think that a UC is a great deal. If leaving home is important to you, CA is vast.</p>

<p>Apply to Harvard, you don't have to worry about the prestige factor if you get in. Also, the campus is beautiful, in my opinion.</p>

<p>Feel free to PM me if you want info about Vassar.</p>

<p>How about a small research university? You get the LAC vibe and individualized attention, but you also have all the pros that come with grad school facilities, major research funding, etc. Tufts comes to mind, as does Rice.</p>

<p>As for the concern about what kind of job you'll get if you attend the LAC's on your list....</p>

<p>All of these schools have Career Services offices. They advise students for both jobs and grad school admissions. All of these offices collect statistics on what their grads do after school....with jobs listed for each kind of major, and often including average starting salary. These stats are usually available on the school's websites and in published material that you can get from the Career Services or Admissions offices.</p>

<p>Your parents should be pleasantly surprised when they see this info. from the schools you are considering.</p>