<p>Hi, so basically I am the oldest of 5 children (the youngest being in first grade) and my parents almost seem uninterested in the whole college search process. Whenever I try to talk to them about it it results in a fight. My mom and I have very differing ideas about what kind of education I need (or more importantly geographically where that education should be). It's not that they are super intense about it like you would think most first time college parents would be but they actually seem to want nothing to do with it. I have only visited one school with my parents (one of the ones my mom wants me to go to because it is close to home). As a junior with friends who are already going to their top choice school that is eight hours away for the second time with an interview this can be a bit frustrating. My parents keep saying we will do it in the fall, but this past fall they said we would start looking during spring break so now I am paranoid I am not going to get to go to a single college of my choice, and only those of my mom. Personally, I am one of those annoying kids who is obsessed with colleges and can list the SAT averages and student to faculty ratios for my top schools; so I am not mad that their enthusiasm isn't equivalent to mine, but they genuinely show no interest. I understand they don't want to see me leave but how do I get them to see not only my point of view, but express an interest in searching for the right college for me. Basically, I need some ideas on how to approach my parents about having a legitimate discussion about college that does not result in anger or resentment. Thank you for your advice, it is much appreciated!</p>
<p>Your parents don’t have to be involved, it would be nice but there could be all sorts of reasons why they aren’t interested. What you really need from them is an understanding of their finances. Try using one of the financial aid calculators on the web to get an idea of what type of information you need. That will probably have the biggest effect on your college search. If your parents aren’t interested, conserve the pool of “good will” by only approaching them on things you really need to know. You might also try talking to your counselor who may be able to take a different approach. I don’t think my parents could tell you which schools I applied to or which I was accepted at or even my SAT and gpa. It would have been nice but it wasn’t necessary.</p>
<p>With four other younger kids at home, and you being the first to leave there could be several things going on. They could not be ready to deal with the fact one of their kids will be leaving the nest. It could be very hard logistically to get away with you if there are four little ones at home. They could be worried that they are not able to pay for school and not sure how to approach that subject with you. There could be so many reasons that without knowing your family we couldn’t tell. </p>
<p>The thing to do is to ask them. Tell them that you are really getting down to the wire with time to look at schools and you want their input. Ask them if you should only be looking at state schools or schools where you can get a scholarship to get an idea of where they are thinking financially. At least that is a start and hopefully it will get a conversation going on what their thoughts are on the subject.</p>
<p>What you need to know is how much money they can chip in for your education. Sit them down, and have the Big Money Talk. They may whine and fuss, but you need to be strong and keep them on task. Find out if there is a college savings fund, and if so how much. Find out what they can come up with out of current income. Ask how they feel about you taking on any college loans, and whether they believe that you should work part-time during the school year or only in the summer or other long vacations.</p>
<p>Then, hold their hands while they run the family numbers through the EFC calculators at <a href=“Expected Family Contribution (EFC) – BigFuture”>Expected Family Contribution (EFC) – BigFuture; to get a notion of how much the colleges will expect them to pay (at minimum). This may require reinforcement with a few adult beverages, so be kind and fetch whatever it is they feel they need to imbibe.</p>
<p>If they still have any strength left over, run the numbers through a couple of the Net Price Calculators for colleges and universities that are interesting to you/them.</p>
<p>Once your parents start to get a handle on the money issue, the rest will be relatively easy. If you have top grades and test scores, going “far away” may suddenly not seem so scary if it also is “incredibly cheap”. If your parents don’t have time/energy/money to make a lot of college visits, apply first, and then visit next spring when you know where you have been admitted. Happyniece is graduating this May from a place she didn’t visit until after she’d been accepted and offered a ginormous scholarship. She’s been very happy there.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the help! I am paying for college entirely myself and have been saving for a few years (my parents paid for my high school education at a private academy so that was the deal we made) so I am definitely going to be looking at generous schools. But thanks for all the advice, and any more is certainly welcome</p>
<p>“I am paying for college entirely myself and have been saving for a few years.”</p>
<p>I am afraid that does not sound good. Do you understand how financial aid works? Even if your parents are not paying for it, their financial situation will determine what you can do and get. At this moment, you need to understand this financial aid stuff in relations to your family financial standing and your academic achievement, it will by a long shot the determining factor on what kinds of schools and colleges you should apply and realistically feasible to attend.</p>
<p>As ttparent says, you need a good understanding of how the financial aid process works. </p>
<p>Since you are intending to pay for college yourself (wow!), it is important for you to start investigating colleges carefully. </p>
<p>If you wanted to share with us what your SAT/ACT score is, what state you live in, and what your intended major is, we might be able to give you some suggestions for good colleges that might be feasible for you and not force you to take out private loans.</p>
<p>Are you a National Merit candidate? If not, you will need to look through these forums looking for a different kids of school than what you may envision now. Start looking for auto merit and great in-state options, load up on AP classes and colleges that will accept them. Apply to schools where you will be in the top 10% of applicants and show a lot of interest. Apply early (but not ED). Be prepared to go to a school that is not your dream but that can offere you a great education. Explore those schools close to home and understand transfer policies. </p>
<p>Your parents will still need to help you with the FAFSA next year, and running the EFC calculator is a great thing to do even if they have no intention of paying. After all, you will need their tax returns in order to qualify for government loans, etc. </p>
<p>If you are likely to be a NMF, look seriously at U of Alabama, Oklahoma and others that provide full-tuition+.</p>
<p>My current SAT without taking a class is a 1920, I’ll have taken 3 APs by the time I graduate (US History, Government, and English). I have taken all honors throughout high school. My intended major is political science because I’m going to try to go to law school (which is why I’m covering undergrad). I currently have a 3.56 but I’m doing much better this semester (around a 3.9) so that will help pull it up and I also attend a very rigorous college prep high school. I live in Pennsylvania so PSU is definitely one of my tops at the moment (thye also have a Crime, Law and Justice major which I would probably go into if I go there). I don’t really want to consider Temple because that’s where I want to go to law school. I am also looking at going to school with a good mock trial program, I’ve already been contacted by one school who is interested in me and it would come with a scholarship. My dream college (Furman) also offers mock trial scholarships but based on what I’ve read about their recent generosity it probably won’t be much. Thank you so much for your suggestions and help, it really means a lot (:</p>
<p>It doesn’t matter what deal you made with your parents, schools will be using your parents’ incomes and assets to determine any aid that you might get.</p>
<p>And…most schools don’t give much in aid.</p>
<p>So, yes, you do need to do the NPC calculators on each site.</p>
<p>Go to Furman’s site and use their NPC. You will HAVE to use your parents’ income because you won’t be independent til age 24…no matter what deal you made.</p>
<p>One reason your parents may be reluctant about all of this may be because they’ve learned that schools will use their income to determine aid so they know you’re not going to get much. They may suspect that your affordable school will be one that you can commute to.</p>
<p>If you get your SAT up higher, you may get merit money.</p>
<p>How much can YOU contribute each year?</p>
<p>You state your SAT without prep. Will you now do some prep and retake? Have you considered ACT?</p>
<p>I will disagree with the statement that most schools don’t give much in aid.
Many schools give aid to students whose stats are much higher than average for that particular school.</p>
<p>Because you want to go to law school, it is important that you do not rack up much debt during your undergraduate years. Do you have any acceptable colleges that are in commuting distance? COA for a resident is around $27,000 this year. Can you afford that with what you saved?</p>
<p>I’m definitely going to take a prep class over the summer, and I’m hoping to get it up…my only worry is that my GPA will seem low compared to my SAT score but I don’t know. I definitely won’t have that much saved up so I’ve already accepted the fact that I’m going to have to take out loans, but I’m hoping to keep them low. The area I live in (SE PA) has some colleges I could commute to like Villanova…however their aid is very limited from my schools experience with them and tuition is just simply way too high. I know schools like University of South Carolina offer a significant amount of aid to out of state students whose stats are above their average (the rep who came to my school said they’d only be paying around 9 thousand a year not including room and board). I still am trying to figure out my best options considering money and the fact that I need to pay for law school.</p>
<p>You’re getting some of the School of Hard Knocks from some of us parents on this forum, and it’s important you understand that the deal you cut with your parents re a private high school education does not absolve them of the government and universities’ perspective that parents (even an absent parent who never raised you) is ASSUMED and REQUIRED to contribute if they have adequate resources. I strongly suggest you make best friends with the college guidance counselor at your school (who may be a different individual from your regular counselor) and start attending ALL of the meetings they set up for kids and/or parents. You are right that fall is too late to start trying to figure this all out since you should be taking AP tests and possibly SAT IIs this spring if you intend to apply to universities that still require them. My son did not take the American History SAT II after APUSH and lived to regret when he took SAT II about seven months later. You will learn tons about financial aid, etc. Does your school use Naviance? It was very helpful for my son these past few years and my youngest is already using it (she’s a sophomore). College Board, although I hate them for all the money they have taken from me, has a new, free service to help you organize everything about college. My son just got their email announcing it today. Plus, you have all of us to help you begin to navigate the labyrinth.</p>
<p>No my parents have no problem filling out those forms and what not my mom’s just in the process of getting surgery (pre op and what not) so they haven’t had a chance to fill out that form but my Dad promised me we would after the surgery was over. And yes we do use Naviance, but none of the schools I’m applying to require SAT IIs but I might take them for US History, Literature and Math I just because I think I would do well, especially on the first two.</p>
<p>I think the parents on this forum have given you excellent advice on financial matters, so I’m going to address your need to visit colleges. Your parents are struggling to deal with a lot of logistical issues (five children, surgery) and maybe they’re just worn out.</p>
<p>Do you have a friend whose parents would take you along on college visits or to open houses? I would have been glad to have another student tag along with my own child. Some parents feel that their children get more out of the experience when they have a friend to talk with later about a certain college visit.</p>
<p>Are you a member of a faith community? If so, does this community include a youth group with an adult leader/s? Is this someone who could arrange a college visit for several of the youth? Could you talk to your school counselor about arranging a trip? My understanding is that lots of private high schools have counselors who visit lots of colleges so they can give their students advice on what might be a good fit.</p>
<p>Good luck. You sound motivated and resourceful. That will carry you far wherever you go.</p>
<p>It’s great you have a dream about going to law school, but please have a backup plan. There has been so many articles about law school fiascos: incredible tuitions, no jobs in the end. Many people are advising against law school now. Check out the New York Times, to start. I don’t know how Temple rates in law schools, but they say now that unless you go to a top tier school you may be in trouble. I know that’s further down the road, but if that’s what you are trying to do, best be prepared.</p>
<p>One other area you should explore is what community college might be acceptable to you for the first 2 years to get a bunch of core curriculum requirements out of the way at the least expensive cost. This also allows you to work for 2 years and save more money for the next 2 years and law school. </p>
<p>You need the help of a competent guidance counselor who also is up on sources of scholarships. There are a few on line scholarship sites you can register for and fill in various details to find out ones you may qualify for. Some require essays some are just data like “female with a certain gpa majoring in a certain subject” etc. I don’t know if cc will let this pass the censor but fastweb is one and scholarships dot com is another. </p>
<p>Honestly, money will be your biggest obstacle since your grades/SAT score are good but not tippy top Merit money good so you will only qualify for money awards based on the type of student scores you are in competition with at schools you are interested in.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of your help (: and I will definitely take all of you up on your advice !</p>
<p>I agree with what some of the other posters said about taking the responsibility yourself. You can do the whole thing yourself. You already know what deadlines that you have about when you need to get to the school for an interview. You also already know about the deadlines for applying and probably everything else. </p>
<p>Did your parents go to college? My experience was that since my parents did not go to college they had no clue about all that you had to do. There is a ton of planning ahead that i missed out on completely because no one ever gave me any advice about it.</p>
<p>Also they have to be so busy with all those kids. That is understandable even though for you it must be annoying. With kids as young as grade school there is probably so much happening at home that they can’t fathom how to add more to their plate.</p>
<p>Since you are paying your way through school you should consider staying at home and commuting. You are smart and driven, right there you already have what you need to succeed no matter where you go to school.</p>