My parents WONT help pay for college.

Paying for College
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<p>My parents make around 134000 a year, but my mom has outright said that she's not going to help me pay for my college. She says that even though we have money, she refuses to put financial hardship on herself just so I can go to college. My problem is that financial aid has an expected family contribution, mine of which is around 25000-40000 depending on the school. My mom said that she expects me to cover this entire amount with loans. She said that I should just go to a CUNY school here in New York City and stay at home, but I've been in an extreme amount of hard work and it would absolutely break my heart to know that I did it for nothing.</p>

<p>I don't know what to do, I applied to some really good schools that I might get into, but I'm terrified that I won't be able to go because I can't afford it. I don't want to be 150,000 in debt either. Plus I want to go to law school, and my mom absolutely expects me to go to some kind of graduate school. </p>

<p>I'm not superwoman, I'm only 17, and I can't do this by myself.</p>

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<p>I don’t believe you can get loans on your own for that EFC. You haven’t mentioned stats. Are you a senior? Have you applied to places you might get enough merit money?</p>

<p>FWIW, my sister started out living at home and attending an NYC public ( Hunter), and ended up graduating from Georgetown Law.</p>

<p>And finally, the worst stories from cc students are those where their are no local colleges, or they have no where to live. I wish it worked out like you’d hoped, but maybe the next phase will.</p>

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<p>Anyone can get unsubsidized Stafford loans if they fill out the FAFSA.
Of course her parents will have to fill out the FAFSA as she is a dependent.
Stafford loans are also not large enough to cover COA for anything but a community college.
OP can still benefit from hard work, because that has put her in a better position to get the most out of college courses.
If OP mother is not contributing anything financially, she doesn’t get to have a say on law school, graduate school, or what school OP goes to, IMO.</p>

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<p>Honestly, shame on the parents…if financial distress were the issue ,i might understand…But it seems like the family has a good income and some assets…As a parent, i would do whatever necessary to allow my children to attend college…</p>

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<p>Gee, enough parent bashing. A state university is a fine education and can be financed by the student. No need for a parent to have to fork over money for a Ferrari when the kid can buy a Kia with own funds and loans. </p>

<p>OP needs to get over the disappointment and start planning within his/her budget.</p>

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<p>I see nothing wrong with Hunter, Queens or any other CCNY colleges. What is the point to apply for Boston College if you know cannot afford?</p>

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<p>Sorry, the family is not destitute…or so it seems, and for that reason they should help til it hurts…what kind of parent refuses to help their offspring?</p>

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<p>what kind of parent refuses to help their offspring?</p>

<p>Perhaps the kind that view their adult children as adults.
We don’t know what their total picture is. Perhaps this income is recent. Perhaps they don’t have any retirement savings or large bills.</p>

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<p>Even if a parent is rolling in dough doesn’t entitle the adult child to it. And it is parent choice (and not morality). All this side chatter detracts from the OP just dealing with reality and making appropriate plans.</p>

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<p>Tell your mom that when she starts contributing to your college expenses, she gets a say in what you do and where you go.</p>

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<p>I disagree. It was parent choice to bring the child into a world where success in life is highly correlated with a college education. That doesn’t mean that parents are obligated to make themselves destitute to finance an expensive college choice; but for someone with a six-figure income to say they’re going to contribute nothing is an abrogation of parent responsibility - and yes, that’s a moral issue.</p>

<p>I agree that given the circumstances, the OP needs to develop a strategy that moves them forward in life. That may involve a low-cost public school (and I fully agree that there’s nothing wrong with that), or perhaps applying to private schools where the student’s stats would qualify them for full rides or something close to them.</p>

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<p>My state U is $25k. Still think it can be financed by the student?</p>

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<p>Apply to schools where you can get a lot of merit scholarships. Try University of Texas at Dallas if you want to get away from home. They offer wonderful merit scholarships to top students including their McDermott program that has a deadline of January 6. That even includes plane fare twice a year.</p>

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<p>Yes, but CUNY tuition is about 40% that at MSU. If the student is permitted to live at home, the student could finance the tuition, fees, books, etc. with Staffords and a part-time job. Not an ideal</p>

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<p>While college is a social and moral obligation, it is not a legal obligation, especially in the tune of 50k a year. The OP states that her EFC is going to be somewhere between 25-40k. Perhaps her parents simply cannot afford to pay that kind of money out of pocket and are not in the position to borrow that kind of money (they would not be the first family to say these words).</p>

<p>Tuition and Fees at a 4 year CUNY (Hunter, Baruch, Queens, Bklyn) is ~ 5130/year (it should be increasing by ~ 300 next fall).</p>

<p>Please do not think that you worked hard for nothing. If you had not worked hard, you would not have any college choices, however you do have choices. </p>

<p>I see that OP is interested in Michigan, where she will most likely be paying full freight.</p>

<p>Do your grades and scores put you in a position that you can apply for the Macauley Honors Program? Are you in a position where you can apply for some of the SUNY honors programs? At least the parents are telling her now that they cannot or are unwilling to pay for a private school.</p>

<p>Have you applied for schools where your grades and scores may put you in a position for merit money?</p>

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<p>It was parent choice to bring the child into a world where success in life is highly correlated with a college education.</p>

<p>Sounds like first world white peoples problems :wink: You equating " success" in life with a college diploma?
Neither my H or I have ever attended a 4 yr college. We have two kids- their paternal grandparents counseled against putting money in savings bonds because they didn’t need to attend college.</p>

<p>It doesn’t help OP to suggest that what her parents are doing is wrong- she needs to go forward with the information she has, in order to reach her goal.
Working summers & school year can contribute a certain amount.
If OP has taken AP courses in high school- probable those test scores can lead to reduced course requirements at a state school = savings on COA
With Stafford loans, she still has choices- Hunter College for instance.
It is also possible that once her parents see how committed to attending college she is, that they will become more supportive, including financially.</p>

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<p>I didn’t say “equate,” I said “correlate.” I would argue on any measure - economic success included but not exclusively - those with a college education are better off than those without one. Obviously, there are successful and happy people without degrees, and people with degrees who are miserable and not successful in life.</p>

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<p>No one has suggested that it’s a legal obligation - and there’s a rather sizable gulf between “I won’t pay $50K a year” and “I’m not going to contribute anything.”</p>

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<p>*She said that I should just go to a CUNY school here in New York City and stay at home, but I’ve been in an extreme amount of hard work and it would absolutely break my heart to know that I did it for nothing.</p>

<p>*</p>

<p>You didn’t do it for “nothing”. If you have great grades and test scores, you can do well anywhere. If you were just going to sit in your room for now on, then you would have done it for nothing.</p>

<p>What are your test sores and GPA? You may qualify for large merit at various places…although you’ve missed some deadlines.</p>

<p>While some may think it’s terrible that your parents won’t pay $25k-40k per year for college, they live in an expensive area ( NYC) where that income ($134k) doesn’t often allow for that much extra money. </p>

<p>You should have clarified your financial situation with your folks before you made your app list.</p>

<p>BTW…tell your mom that she’d have to co-sign those big loans…and they’d be a terrible idea and leave you with waaayyyy too much debt. You shouldn’t borrow more than $30k total for undergrad.</p>

<p>And, if your mom won’t pay, she can’t dictate a dang thing about grad school or anything.</p>

<p>She says that even though we have money, she refuses to put financial hardship on herself just so I can go to college</p>

<p>I wonder if those were her exact words. Considering where you live, how expensive it costs to live there, fed/state/local/property taxes, I don’t think she meant that she has that much extra money ($25k-35k per year), but doesn’t want to spend it on education. </p>

<p>*. A state university is a fine education and can be financed by the student. </p>

<p>========
My state U is $25k. Still think it can be financed by the student? *</p>

<p>I think she means commuting to a local public…and maybe starting at a CC. “Going away” to college is a luxury.</p>

<p>**Edited to add…
*** *] SAT: 2110/1430 780M 650CR 680W
[ *] SAT IIs (if sent): 640US 780M1 730M2
[ *] ACT: didn’t take
[ *] UM unweighted GPA: 92/100 UW
*</p>

<p>Your stats…you need to apply where you’d get a lot of merit.</p>

<p>Applying to schools like UMich OOS is not likely going to work. Your stats aren’t high enough for their big merit. </p>

<p>Hopefully others can recommend where you can still get merit.</p>

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<p>@annas- I was speaking in general terms. Not all state schools are affordable- it’s a fallacy that bites a lot of students in the butt when their parents tell them to go at it alone.</p>

<p>@mom2- Even just tuition at my public U is around $15k. Still way out of reach for many people. It’s unfortunate that our public Us have gotten to this point.</p>

<p>@OP- What are your stats? If you really are competitive at top schools then that means you’ll likely get great merit aid somewhere else. Obviously, all your hard work was NOT for nothing.</p>

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<p>I realize not every state school is affordable, but many are, and many can be attended part-time while working. Also, while a parent may balk at a 25K-40K a year price tag, the same parent may start to “miraculously” work with the adult child when the student starts considering local, far far far more affordable choices. That same parent may decide to join in and support at a 2K or 4K or 6K a year contribution toward an AFFORDABLE local college whereas the conversation is completely shut down when faced with an adult child “expecting” that they are “owed” 25K-40K a year (100K-160K total!) from a parent.</p>

<p>Maybe the parent will still not join in, but it is far more likely. </p>

<p>Btw, my father used GI benefits and working almost fulltime. My mother finished college in just over 4 years–and had me as a baby in the middle of all of that. Both worked like dogs to get their college degrees. It can be done when necessary. Yes, state schools were cheaper back then, but I still meet students who make it happen without parental support. Most of them start out at a CC. They don’t complain. They just work really hard. One such person like this that I met at a CC recently finished at the state school and then applied for his Masters degree–got into both Stanford and UCLA for a teaching program for Urban Education. He’s brilliant, passionate, and gives back to his community a 100-fold. And he manged to fund his entire education by working and paying for it himself. It isn’t easy, but those who really really want it, can make it happen.</p>

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<p>" Even just tuition at my public U is around $15k. Still way out of reach for many people. It’s unfortunate that our public Us have gotten to this point."</p>

<p>Wow! Where is THAT? I’ve lived in NYC and Cal; high costs of living but CCNY’s, CUNYs, SUNYs, CSUs and CCCs, even UC tuitions seem lower.</p>

<p>Oh, I guess Michigan.</p>