<p>@actingmt…at least give the kid a shot fill out those forms and give her a ride. My parents were immigrants and I had nothing. Guidance counselor recommended me going the EOP route through SUNY. He actually went out of his way and arranged everything. (this was a long time ago) BUT my mother and I hoped on a bus and took a 4 hr trip for an interview which resulted in a full ride to college. If you don’t try you never know. Glad my mother scraped together that money for bus fare 30 years ago.</p>
<p>Well, I don’t disagree. But a longshot scholarship competition and still no funds for room and board and parents with other problems I can somewhat understand. That said, I would give her bus fare.</p>
<p>@actingmt…good thing you were not my dad…I’d be flipping burgers at Wendy’s today.</p>
<p>Wrong. By the way it does not take a prestigious dream school to avoid a burger flipping future. CC and local U are fine for that. Someone has to pay and unless the 17 year old has a stash of cash under her bed if her parents can’t then who will? No-one. And, if she doesn’t win the scholarship (which is obviously the more likely scenario) she is still stuck. And, she can blame her parents for not funding her dreams or she can accept the fact that they can’t. She’s not the only one. Our CC’s are overcrowded.</p>
<p>Somehow I doubt that the OP’s “dream school” is prestigious at all.</p>
<p>actingmt, how do you explain making her drop her ECs, and the rest of it? I mean, I’m somewhat skeptical of the story, as I indicated above, and I am completely sympathetic to real financial constraints, but it also sounds quite possible that we have a family acting out of ignorance, bitterness, and a short-sighted view of life.</p>
<p>That is certainly possible. We don’t know enough. There were a couple of things in there that led me to believe it was probably a financial issue. Why else would they be okay with CC or local U? But, you are correct. We don’t know. And Posey has apparently left the thread.</p>
<p>Well, I supposed (and supposing is all we can do) that her parents wanted her to concentrate on her schoolwork. That maybe she hadn’t been or the ECs themselves were too time consuming or some other conflict about whatever they were. (For all we know, she was cutting confetti for the pep rallies.) And perhaps refusing the drivers license was that same old sort of thing many of us have said: when you bring your grades up (or whatever.) The job issue could be related to the same.</p>
<p>Cons, unless it was ED, I was thinking rolling admissions.</p>
<p>That sounds like a lot of jumping to conclusions in favor of the parents. Parents are equally able to act irrationally.</p>
<p>EC’s also cost money. Dad had recently finished college himself and had job issues. And, likely debt. And, told her to stop the drama. So, there was drama.</p>
<p>Not all ECs cost money. Sounds to me like the parents are bringing the drama. But the OP is gone so - it’s all speculation at this point.</p>
<p>wow! This thread blew up! Basically, on the whole job/license situation, I would bring up getting a job, and my parents would say I need to get my license first and vise versa. For the extracurricular thing, I was paying for music lessons and arranging for rides, but they made me stop because they don’t see any monetary worth in music. I was also going to do pep band, which is free, plus I got into basketball games for free, but they said they were tired of running me around everywhere. (our high school is 5 minutes away.) My parents expect me to get my license/job, then go to college every day and continue to live at home and be the maid. I just don’t understand what’s so horrible about wanting music lessons… I mean, I don’t party, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs… I want to play music. I really don’t see any hope for me here… I have to wait on my dad on hand and foot and I have to clean while the other three kids can do whatever. It’s more than a money thing. I’ve never stayed the night or gone over to a friends house before. I’ve never hung out with someone outside of school except for one time. I used to have depression and I asked for help and my dad blew me off. It’s just frustrating. I don’t want to talk to my parents about it because I’ll either get blown off or accused of starting drama.</p>
<p>The school is Capital University and it’s about 50 minutes away from home. They’ve already guaranteed $21000 and the competition would cover the rest of tuition. They have all the majors I want, and a very strong Pre Physical therapy program which is the major I am considering. They refuse to fill out FAFSA because they don’t want the government to know anymore information. I’ve already lined up my plan B school and have scholarships there. I’ve asked them how much they are willing to spend on college, and I told them I could get a loan for $5500, and they wanted to know how much it would cost extra to go to the school they chose. My mom told me she will be angry with me if I move out. My parents never went to college right out of high school, and they only started going in their 30’s, online. They never did extracurriculars, and they never do anything but work and come home.</p>
<p>My grades have been the same throughout high school. My GPA has never dropped below a 3.0. My only extracurriculars were pep band and music lessons, which were free and I was paying for, respectively. They are okay with a community college, but the local university is not an option unless I get enough scholarship money so the cost of the local U and the CC would be the same.</p>
<p>I’m afraid my parents will call the police because I was about 20 minutes late getting out of a music lesson (my instructor was late and i texted my grandma twice but they didn’t have their phone) so my grandma went into the university where I was taking lessons and went through the men and womens bathrooms, found the band director, and interrogated them. They called my mom in the meanwhile, and she was getting ready to call the cops on my instructor. I explained to my grandma about the texts and how he was held up at work and she apologized, and told my mom, and my mom and dad still hold it against me. They also like To tell me my grandma only does stuff for me because I am the favorite.</p>
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<p>I think only one student can win that scholarship. S and I went to that scholarship day when he was a senior. He didn’t win it, but with FAFSA filled out by us, Capital did come very close to meeting full need for him. </p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>Your parents sound very strict, mine were too. I grew up with “You can’t do this” and “You have to do that.” Ultimately the restrictions were arbitrary and nonsensical but what could I do, I was a kid.</p>
<p>This is an opportunity for you to make a distinction between what you can control and what you can’t. Pleading your case to us that you should have been allowed to continue with music lessons and having us agree with you doesn’t change anything. It was your parents decision and they have that authority. I’m not saying I agree with them, I’m saying it doesn’t matter what I think.</p>
<p>Even if you win the last piece of your scholarship if any of it is need-based your parents will have to fill out the FAFSA. You can’t make them do that if they don’t want to. Reading all of your posts I think there are just too many hurdles for your dream school to work.</p>
<p>You’ll be 18 soon and then you will have more say in how you live, meaning you can just move out and your parents won’t have any legal recourse. I know it will be hard to be on your own but it is also sounds like it is hard for you to live at home.</p>
<p>IMHO you need to get out, and stay out. See if you can get a friend to take you to the scholarship thing. Tell your parents where you are so that they don’t have any excuse to call the cops or otherwise interfere with you.</p>
<p>It may be that you will end up having to fully finance your degree, if your parents decide to withhold financial support. It sounds to me as if they are likely to manufacture some excuse to do so anyway.</p>
<p>Could you live with your grandmother while in college, if need be?</p>
<p>Your best bet, for your mental health and future autonomy, may be to get a clerical job in a PT practice and live on your own for a gap year or two, and then apply to college as an emancipated, independent adult. From what you have said your parents are stubborn at best, and the odds of “changing their minds” are not good. If you really feel that living at home is not emotionally healthy, and that your mental health needs are being shoved aside? Establishing an independent life might be the most empowering and healthy thing you could do.</p>
<p>Wow Posey. Your home life sounds miserable. I agree with others that you need to find a way to move out after you graduate. One way of financing further education occurred to me. I had a friend in the school band in high school. His parents couldn’t pay for college so he joined the Army and was in the Army Band. I visited other friends in the military during my college years and they lived in dorms and had a very college like atmosphere but they had more money than me. Another option would be to attend a college with a PT major and join ROTC. You would end up with an obligation to the military but as we all know they need people with medical skills. I think at this point you need to find options that will allow you to leave home. I’m just brainstorming. Maybe others will have ideas. </p>
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<p>The OP will need to wait until s/he is 24 years old, married, or a military veteran in order to be free of parental control over college financing. Until such (or a few less common conditions) happens, the OP is considered a dependent student, so the parents will have veto power over the OP’s college choices to the extent that withholding money or cooperation on FAFSA or other financial aid forms prevents the OP from affording college. See <a href=“http://studentaid.ed.gov/fafsa/filling-out/dependency”>http://studentaid.ed.gov/fafsa/filling-out/dependency</a> .</p>